though a candle burns in my house, there's nobody home

The other day I told a friend of mine that I never forget to take my ADHD meds because I fucking love my ADHD meds. I'm in my late 30s, I didn't finally get a diagnosis and meds until less than two years ago, and they have changed my entire life.

And he raised his eyebrow at me. We'd been discussing addictive medications a few minutes before, like the Tramadol I finally got from the pain specialist to take once a week or so to give me a break from my chronic pain, so I reassured him that methylpenidate (Ritalin/Concerta) is not addictive (at least not in people with ADHD).

His response? To raise his eyebrow even harder and say "Well it sure SOUNDS like it's addictive!"

And I had to explain to this man - who works in a healthcare related job by the way - that just because medication makes you feel good and helps you, just because you look forward to taking it, that doesn't make it addictive or dangerous. And he wasn't convinced.

The simple fact that I was excited to take a daily pill that has literally changed my life, after decades of fighting to get that medication, made him think I shouldn't be taking it so often. That it must inherently be dangerous.

I'm not even in America, but I'm pretty sure this attitude began there and then spread over here to Europe. This Puritan idea of "if something feels good, you must beware of it. Pleasure is dangerous, it is sinful, it is addiction, it is evil."

I know too many people who subconsciously believe that pleasure = addictive = dangerous = bad. Joy is a slippery slope to hell.

So here is your reminder for today that you don't need to be afraid of feeling good. If something improves your life, use it. Even if it is addictive - learn what that addiction means, whether the addiction is inherently dangerous or not, and whether the benefits outweigh the drawbacks and risks.

My ADHD meds are, in fact, not addictive. But I will take them every day because they make my life orders of magnitude easier. I will enjoy them every time I take them.

My tramadol is addictive. I will still take it. I will keep it on a schedule to avoid becoming addicted, primarily because addiction in this case would mean reduced effectiveness. But I am not afraid of my painkillers. They are life changing.

Take your meds, everyone. Don't let anyone scare you away from doing something that improves your life.

oh wow! hey if you take pills check this out. new medicine taking meta just dropped.

according to these models, out of the 4 tested postures, the best position to digest pills is laying on your right side. standing upright has a similar time to laying in your back at twice as much as laying on the right side, and laying on the left side is the slowest by far.

laying on right side: pill dissolves in around 10 minutes.

standing: pill dissolves in 23 minutes. laying on the back has a similar time.

laying on left side: pill dissolves in up to 100 minutes.

https://doi.org/10.1063/5.0096877

definitely worth a lot more research.

if you want your medicine to kick in fast, try laying on your right side! if you want your medicine to kick in slower, try laying on your left side.

This makes sense! I learned from a doc that if you have gas pain or nausea, you turn on your left side to make it easier for your stomach to send stuff through. The goal in turning left is to NOT absorb, but to release.

Turning on your right can make nausea/gas pain worse because it has to fight gravity to exit your stomach/body. So, yeah, lying on your right would make things absorb faster because it's going into the stomach lining, which is the point.

Righty-tighty, lefty-loosey

I was going to reblog this anyway for the useful info but the last addition fucking sent me

You're just a mammal. Let yourself act like it. Your brain needs enrichment. Your body needs rest. You feel hunger and grow hair. You need to pack bond with other sentient things so you don't become unsocialized and neurotic. You are biologically inclined to seek dopamine and become sick when chronically stressed. "Hedonism" is made up to place moral value on taking pleasure in sensory experiences. I am telling you that if you don't let yourself be a fucking mammal, as you were made, you will suffer and go insane. No grindset no diets no trying to be above your drive for connection. Pursue what makes you feel good and practice radial rejection of the constructs meant to turn you into a machine. You're a mammal.

I am so serious about the way people are taught to view themselves as separate from and above any other animal being the root cause of a lot of problems. You're not better than a beast.

A bill to restrict HRT to age 21+ has been proposed in Ohio.

They are currently taking comments on the issue via the MHA website linked above. The commentary phase ends January 19th at 5pm.

Please take this opportunity to make your voice heard while the window is open.

Hey I just read this and it looks like it will also restrict elective sterilization surgeries like vasectomy and hysterectomy to these guidelines. This isn’t just a trans issue, this is a bodily autonomy and reproductive rights issue.

I’m also very concerned that treatment for early onset puberty, which runs in my family, is not mentioned. Would I really have to let my (currently hypothetical) 8-9yo afab child go through puberty for six months and subject them to psychological evaluation to get it delayed?? FFS.

These are excellent points worth bringing up.

I am being told that Ohio Department of Health is also fielding for commentary on the bill.

If you have something to say about it, please make it known to those official sites, and please spread this to anyone who might be interested.

btw all those posts about how you shouldnt listen to extremely loud stuff at like 100% volume with headphones or else you'll fuck up your ears and hearing are real and if you do that you should stop now bc you'll most likely definitely regret it in the future 👍 coming from someone who regrets it and wishes they listened to the warnings

when he first started dating he was sick a lot, and told me about a family legend that they were cursed with stomach problems because his ancestor was a samurai who had failed to commit sepukku, and now they all needed to experience the pain that he should have

and then one day we were having dinner and I was like. hey. are you not chewing your fucking food

and then I met his family. and they all just unhinge their jaws like snakes. horking shit down like wide-eyed seagulls at the beach

anyway he mostly chews his food now and the ancestral samurai's curse has left him

correlation is not causation

Wanna see and read something stupid?

See this?

I've been having some issues again with my arm (a repetitive strain injury (RSI)), and it wouldn't go away because I work on a computer all day and preferably game with a controller most of my night (sleep? What's sleep?).

Yeah, call me stupid.

So, I was doing all the things I had recommended from occupational therapy about a year ago within the past month, but it didn't help. The stretching, cooling, warming, moving - all for nothing. Then I remembered how my therapist once told me she does the kinetic tape in a wiggly shape sometimes.

And when I taped my knee this morning, I taped my arm, because it couldn't make anything worse, would it?

Listen. (This is so stupid. I'm so angry.) My pain i completely gone. The ENTIRE TENSION is fucking GONE.

My arm has been solid like a rock for weeks, months. Now? Since this morning about nine a.m. it is fucking tender like I had never used the freaking muscles in my life.

I have been working from 9-6, got home and have been playing videogames for the past three hours. There is NO PAIN.

I am so angry. Relieved. But so angry.

Wiggly shaped tape. Fucking wiggly shaped tape!

fun fact: “tired” is not supposed to be your default state of existence

immediately concerned by how many people were like “wait really??” in the tags. may i suggest you guys read up on chronic fatigue iron and magnesium deficiencies (among others) and executive dysfunction as starter material

Love that they put “a sense of impending doom” as one of the symptoms of a heart attack, like girl, that’s just how it is to be alive these days, you’re gonna have to be more specific

This made me chuckle but after scrolling away I felt the need to come back to it.

Because as someone who has felt this I can not stress how different it actually is from anxiety. Which is saying a lot because I have a massive anxiety disorder.

I’ve only felt this twice in my life - once when I was going into kidney failure due to an infection and again when my body was going into shock due to dehydration and malnourishment due to GI issues - and I can not stress how much it saved my life. It’s hard to even put it into words. It’s not like a panic attack, or anxiety. It is a horrific gut turning feeling of absolute dread.

Especially if you have anxiety you’ll know the difference honestly. It’s so much worse. It’s every cell in your body and your brain screaming that there’s something horribly wrong in a way you’ve never felt. It’s your brain screaming out that you are going to die in a way no panic attack has ever done before.

I can not stress how important it is to get yourself to the ER if you feel this way. Especially if your having other physical symptoms.

This is amazing and incredibly helpful, oh my god. Thank you.

Seconding the above : I was going into shock from internal bleeding, and that sense of “something is gravely wrong” was entirely different from my day-to-day whirlwind of anxiety.

For me, it was very quiet. For me, there was a deep sense that I could just lie down on the floor and not have to ever get up again, no effort required.

That combined wrongness/relief was so weird and so unsettling that I drove myself to the ER.

The “impending” part is really key to that symptom, I think, based on my experience. It’s not the existential dread of late-stage capitalism grinding the world into nurdles. It’s a ghost crow on your shoulder whispering “it’s here, it’s now.”

Impending doom is also a feature of anaphylaxis, something I’m intimately familiar with as someone with mast cell dysfunction.

For me, its the overwhelming, near calm certainty of doom that distinguishes it from the jittery panic of “but something could go wrong.”

There’s no “what if?” There’s no room to question it. It just IS. And it’s very different from the “calm” of disassociation too. I’m not disassociated from myself when it happens. I’m probably actually the most present ever.

I’ve turned to doctors and told them calmly and with utter certainty “I am going to die” and the reaction that calm certainty gets is immediate intervention because doctors also recognize that stillness as the body not bothering to waste any time on fight or flight and just going straight to “death is imminent due to some internal failing, act accordingly.”

When I was lying in bed recovering from a hit to the head, I remember a moment in the middle of the night where I went from a sorta half asleep state to being instantly wide awake and feeling, with absolutely certainty, that I was about to die. It was dead silent in my head other than that thought, screaming at me that Something Is Wrong, something is Terribly Wrong. It was like I could feel the dread seeping into my bones, my chest, like I could see it in the back of my eyes, sense it around the corner. Everything was going haywire, like a train was blowing its whistle and I was on the track and my body was trying to get me to Move Dammit.

I called emergency services and tried to explain what I’m feeling. I thought I would be written off, but when I started describing the feeling, immediately the dispatcher sent paramedics to my apartment. Good thing too, as I had a stroke in the ambulance.

Impending doom is real, and a defense mechanism created by the brain to get you to get medical help for something that you cannot handle by yourself, and as someone with panic disorders, it is wildly different and arguably even more terrifying than any attack I’ve ever had.

Oooh oooh! I had this when my kidneys gave out after having been backed up and infected for a couple years!!!!

It was this “Something is Wrong” feeling and it is very difficult to describe just how urgent and different it feels from the usual “Whelp, I’m going to die.” feeling anxiety has.

I got to the ER in time and they slapped antibiotics on me before even knowing what was wrong, and I felt better by the next morning but I was thisclose to dying.

part of why i recognize little to no difference between so-called "recreational" vs "medical" drug use is because i recognize stress as a medical issue. mind-body dualism has us all convinced that stress is an ephemeral emotion that doesn't affect our bodies, but like daily stress, particularly if you're also disabled in some way, just Will Kill You. it can destroy your organs, overclock your brain, weaken your immune system... the effects of prolonged and consistent stress are underresearched (because then we'd have to question how we allocate labor. lmao), but they're there. if you use weed every day for no reason other than you need to force yourself to relax chemically so you can have fun and take your mind off stress, that is indistinguishable from medical use to me, having discarded mind-body dualism.

i think a lot of people in the notes are missing my main point, so here it is again even more simplified: having fun is medically necessary. there is no line between doing something for fun and doing it for your health. fun is necessary for your physical health.

Day 29 - Psychosomatic Bullshit

Found the post!

@lesbianneopolitan Found it!

@thebibliosphere

What a fantastic helper.

First of all, this is an amazing invention. 

Second of all, I’d like to remind everyone that Jell-o counts as a fluid. 

That is, many doctors prescript Jell-o, and Gelatin treats to children and adults who, for whatever reason, have trouble keeping hydrated. Maybe they have jaw issues. Maybe dementia, or they are on a fluid-only diet and drinking broth for weeks is mind-boggling boring. 

Jell-o brand in particular has a lot of sugar added to the packets, however it’s quite straightforward to buy plain gelatin and make low-sugar jelly blobs to snack on for that sweet fruit-pop of hydration.

Soo~ Here we goooo~ 

2 cups juice – Orange juice, grape juice, whatever you want. Fuck, you could even use your favorite blend of tea, or coffee (though coffee, in my experience, needs a little more gelatin to set properly)

Low heat until juice is hot, but before it starts to boil – once you see a bit of bubbles rising, add 2 tablespoons gelatin, and stir gelatin into hot juice until totally dissolved.

Turn off heat

Add another cup and a half of juice (or whatever), stir for another minute or so, then pour into a mold.

You could pour it into ice cube trays, a Tupperware container, or any sort of silicone candy mold.

Cover it, stick in the fridge overnight, and viola~

Bite-sized taste snacks, full of water.

Gelatin is broken down very easily and put to use once in your gut, so it’s fine to eat loads of it, and otherwise you’re just taking mouthfuls of juice… or tea or whatever.

If you want it a bit more sweet, feel free to add sugar or honey to your hot juice… or hot…whatever…

I was pondering about the guy’s electrolytes worked and now I’m paralyzed with the idea of turning Gatorade into jell-o.

Don’t use pineapple juice for this!!! The enzymes break down the gelatin and you’ll be left with soup.

Right on, forgot about that! Kiwi, Pineapple, Figs, Ginger, Guava, and Papaya have an enzyme that flips the bird to gelatin. 

Apple, Grape, Strawberries, Orange, Cherries, Blueberries, Blackberries, Lemons, Peaches, Raspberries, and Cranberries all make great gelatin snacks, though. 

i firmly believe that information like this needs to be shared, especially in any situation where the future is brought into question. as someone who’s grandfather had advanced dementia, i know first hand how difficult and devastating this can be.

seeing inventions like this come into existence is uplifting!

~ mod abalone ~

reblogging for both this amazing inventor’s story, and for the DIY alternative that anyone who struggles with hydration needs can utilize.

One of the most life-changing things I ever learned came from Mythbusters, where they tested and proved (with cognitive testing puzzles and reaction time tests) that lying down and resting with the intention to sleep STILL provided significant mental benefits over just staying awake, even if a person couldn’t fall asleep in the amount of time they had. 

It helps me to actually sleep to know that just lying down with my eyes closed is still doing me some good, and helps me to not freak out/beat myself up when I stay up later than intended. Any amount of rest is better than no rest!

So if you didn’t know that…now you do

do you know that i think of this post every time i can’t sleep op. what mythbusters did for you, you have done for a great many others. 

Honestly, probably the best social tip I could ever give you guys is literally just ask. Need to make a doctor’s appointment but don’t know how? Call the doctor’s office and ask. Don’t know the meaning of what someone said? Ask them. Don’t understand the instructions you were given? Ask them to repeat or clarify. This has literally never failed me, no one’s gotten angry, no one’s refused to answer.

Even in situations where you think it might not work, I once accidentally missed a deadline to accept a job offer, so I called and asked if they could reset it and they did. Just today I called a doctor and asked how to schedule an appointment, the lady told me how, and then I did it. Didn’t know if someone was being sarcastic or not, so I asked and they told me. Just ask.

I want to add, if you’re reluctant about making a doctor's appointment because you’re not really sure WHO to ask, due to insurance (go USA!! /s) call the customer service number on your insurance card and request a list of doctors in your area who accept your plan. 

If you’re looking for a specialist (a doctor that treats one specific part of the body or type of condition such as a dermatologist, podiatrist, gastroenterologist, psychiatrist, etc.) ask the insurance person “Do I need a referral to see a specialist?” 

If so, go to a primary care doctor first.

(If you’re not sure if you need a specialist or what type or specialist you might need, start with a primary care doc. If the primary care doc can’t help you on their own, they can refer you to the appropriate specialist.)

A primary care doctor is a doc that treats any part of the body (Look for something that says “general practitioner” or “Family Practice”)

The insurance person should be able to give you a list of primary care doctors and/or and a list of specialists in whatever field you need.

Instead of calling your insurance company, you could also call a random doctor’s office (with your insurance card handy) and ask them if they accept your insurance plan. 

Some specialist doctor’s offices will check for you, whether your plan requires a referral (but ask the doctor’s office about this before setting the appointment. You don’t want to find out on the day of the appointment itself). 

If you lost your insurance card (or your parents kept it, etc.) DON’T PANIC. Call your insurance company and request another one. They aren’t going to be mad at you and you aren’t going to be in any trouble.

The insurance company will mail one to you. They may even be able to EMAIL one to you or give you a link to a PDF of the card, that you can print or use on your phone!  

If you lost your insurance card AND are not sure which company your insurance is under, call the H.R. of your work (or the work of the person who you have insurance through) and ask the H.R. which insurance company their employee health plans are through.