Platonic with a capital P

Dadmori again

I am aware I have died on this hill before but people who really strenuously argue that fanfic isn't "real writing" drive me insane. what do you meeeaaaaannn. besides the fact that any attempt to define "real art" vs "fake art" is inherently reactionary, it just doesn't make any sense. it's Writing. people Write it. what the fuck are you talking about.

"it's totally self-indulgent with no standards for quality and criticism is borderline not allowed"

are you like. aware of the concept of hobbies? if someone regularly posted pictures of their hobbyist knitting projects on their blog, it would be considered rude to drop in with "criticism." that's still a real art form.

"most of it is really bad"

I cannot stress enough how much perceived quality is not a valid metric for determining what is and isn't art

"it's just porn"

I'm going to kill you

"it's full of unchecked misogyny, racism, queerphobia, etc"

I have some really bad news about every artistic medium ever

"you didn't put in the work of making your own world/characters, you just copied someone else's"

tv shows with writers' rooms. ghost writers. franchises where different works are written by different people. adaptations and retellings. sorry guys I guess none of these are real writing anymore.

There is an endemic problem in spinoff novels or cross-media properties like comics, where you'll get a very talented author recruited whose work is generally excellent, and everyone's excited, but then it turns out they don't know how to write fanfiction.

And the result is that the spinoff is really bad. Because the author completely fails to capture the vocal cadence or behavior or motivations of someone else's characters, the narrative tone of the series...they try too hard to the point of making in-universe references feel stilted and unnatural, or do WAY too much exposition about things that shouldn't need to be explained at this level of barrier-of-entry.

The ability to be a chameleon, to figure out and match the "feel" of characters and a world you didn't create, is a learned skill.

(Also there are absolutely people who drop in with unsolicited criticism on someone's hobby knitting or quilting or whatever, and they're dicks.)

he would not say that.

I was there when he said it actually

"oh yeah even if your opponent has an unexpected advantage that completely turns the tides of battle (you thought they were unarmed when they aren't) you shook totally just keep going with your current plan, otherwise you're a coward"

he would not say that.

you're just afraid of a big thick girlcock

Whether Sun Tzu would be into girldick is completely orthogonal to whether he would give bullshit bravado advice that will get you killed. He's the "logistics win wars" guy.

His ladycock advice would be more like "The wise general chooses an adversary who uses familiar techniques."

there is a lot we will forgive for girlcock on this site but misconstruing Sun Tzu is NOT on that list

Well, congratulations, you big gay dork. Your man is pathologically incapable of not scheming.

what is it with the bottom!dean hateration on my dash💔💔💔 are we truly believing the propaganda that dean winchester wouldnt let his brother fuck him??? does no one see the vision of angsty prestanford sam fucking his big brother as revenge on their father??? or dean teaching his sammy how to please him just right??? maybe s3 sam gently taking dean apart because he knows he'll never get to do it again??? DOES S4 HATE SEX FIGHTING FOR DOMINANCE MEAN NOTHING TO YOU???

even if dean wasn't particularly enthusiastic (which... he is) about sam sticking it into him all sammy would have to do to be the top is pull out those puppy dog eyes and BOOM! dean is bent. OVER.

Ice cream day

scurvy has got to have one of the biggest disease/treatment coolness gaps of all time. like yeah too much time at sea will afflict you with a curse where your body starts unraveling and old wounds come back to haunt you like vengeful ghosts. unless☝️you eat a lemon

ATTENTION ALL WOMEN: STOP SHAVING. STOP WEARING MAKEUP. SIT WITH YOUR LEGS SPREAD WIDE OPEN. EAT 3 FULL MEALS A DAY. THIS IS FOR FEMINISM.

Please don’t pirate books at least while the author is alive. I’ll make an exception for actual billionaires and wildly expensive textbooks you cannot afford yet need to complete your studies. I can’t make an exception for assholes, because we’re all considered assholes by someone.  I don’t know how many people realise how many writers who created successful, beloved stories and characters still die poor while other people get rich off the same work. I don’t think people realise that in the UK the current average yearly earnings for an author has nosedived over the last fifteen years to £10,500. That obviously is forcing people to quit writing. It increasingly means writing is a job for people who’ve inherited money or have wealthy spouses who can support them. I don’t know if people realise that in general, writers are poor and getting poorer. I’m sorry, but if you think widespread sense of entitlement to free books has nothing to do with that … you’re just wrong. 

I say I don’t think people realise - the truth is I hope they don’t, because the alternative is that they don’t care. That’s certainly the impression I’ve got from Twitter, where a truly horrifying number of people are arguing that copyright on  all books should expire after thirty years, and you should be able to acquire books for  free after that. This … would not just mean that everyone gets free books. It would mean if you write a book at 30, not only do you lose any royalties from it at 60, but Disney can take it, make a franchise out of it, Scrooge McDuck it up in a pool of money while you starve because writers don’t get workplace pensions.

Some threads on the unintended (?) consequences of this. I can’t go over it all again. John Brownlow NK Jemisin Michael Marshall Smith Me Marina Lostetter Kari Dru and others William Gibson and others

There are plenty of others. It’s not that this actual idea will actually happen, but I do think it reinforces the idea that it’s not only okay, but sometimes actually virtuous to search for ways to enjoy writers’ work without paying for it. Like it’s somehow a step towards a better world. Not just at the reader end, to be fair, at the employer end too. And I do see a lot of people here too who are all about supporting workers unless the workers are writers in which case fuck’em. 

Like. If you want to radically change society in such a way that mass-media conglomerates don’t exist and so can’t exploit us and we’re supported to make art in some other way than fine. But can you start the revolution with actual rich people please, not ask us to live right now, in the society we’ve got, without the money we need to survive it. Finally, a plea: I really, really, do not want to debate this. This whole thing genuinely makes me feel tense and shaky and sick. If you’ve got to disagree - unfollow me, block me, vagueblog somewhere I can’t see it. The Twitter version of this already has me feeling like I’ve been kicked in the gut. I didn’t want to write this post. I just felt I wasn’t going to have any peace until I did.

If you don’t want to buy a book outright, please consider getting it from your local public library (or your school library if you’re a student). If the library does not have the book you want, you can usually make a purchase suggestion and the collections staff will consider if it’s possible to procure the item based on availability and budget, or you can just do an interlibrary loan request and the library will try to get a copy on loan for you from another library system. In some libraries I’ve worked for, the ILL staff will actually look at the cost of the item, and if it’s under a certain amount, they’ll automatically just buy it instead of requesting it, because it’s cheaper and involves less work.

Libraries are a great middle ground if you can’t afford to pay for a book but don’t want to pirate the material, and a lot of libraries use apps like Libby/Overdrive and Borrow Box so that there are also materials online.

Publishing companies will use book piracy (ie lack of sale numbers) to excuse paying us even less, so it’s not just our published books we lose money on, it’s our future advances. To put an extremely blunt end on it: the books I wrote on a 6 figure advance (the money was spread out over three years, so it was still >$80K/year) are much better than the books I write at $40K (not just because I have to cram to get that split over 2 years instead of 3, and since $20K/year isn’t enough, I have to get another contract).

The corporations don’t care if you pirate books. It actually *helps* them. But it sure screws writers over.

“And I don’t think anybody should feel bad if they get diagnosed with a mental illness, ’cause it’s just information about you that helps you to know how to take better care of yourself.

“Being bipolar, there’s nothing wrong with it. Being bipolar is like not knowing how to swim. It might be embarrassing to tell people, and it might be hard to take you certain places. But they have arm floaties. And if you just take your arm floaties, you can go wherever the hell you want.

“And I know some of you are like, ‘But Taylor, what if people judge me for taking arm floaties?’ Well, those people don’t care if you live or die, so maybe who cares? Maybe fuck those people a little. I don’t know.”

Taylor Tomlinson, Look At You (2022)

Soukoku piece I made for a Zine

Modern au:

Arthur: holy shit, I was reborn gay

Merlin: wait, you weren't gay back then?

Arthur: ... No?

Merlin: then what was all that about?

Arthur: ... What are you talking about?

Merlin: You... Me... *Air quotes* do you know how to walk on your Knees*

Arthur: I married Gwen!!!!

Merlin: WE married Gwen, Arthur. WE did!!!

Everyone who thinks Merthur is enemies to lovers has been thoroughly misleaded.

They looked at each other, went straight over marriage and kids and for the rest of the series were like: we've been married for 50 years, I will complain to you about my husband/wife and we do fight a lot, but if you touch him, I will murder you.

I want a BBC Merlin fanfic where Hunith visits Camelot as a surprise. Merlin doesn't know she's coming, only Gaius knows that she plans to visit. This is set in a time period where all the knights are alive (I'm looking at you Lancelot.) and Arthur is Prince, but running the Kingdom as Uther is unwell.

Hunith pulls up to Camelot and is walking towards the Castle through the citadel, burdened by her bags, when a cheerful voice rings out. "Do you need any help, miss?" It's one of the many Castle servants.

Hunith explains that she is heading to the Castle to visit her son who works there, the servant then offers to carry her bags.

"Oh I don't want to be a bother." Hunith replies

"It's no bother at all! Really, I was heading that way already." The servant insists and they both make their way to the castle, "What's your son's name by the way, I might know him if he works here."

"His name is Merlin." Hunith responds with a smile. The servant stops walking and looks at her. It's not only him that stops at this announcement.

"Y-you're Merlin's Mother?!?" A nearby servant who had been close enough to hear the conversation says in awe.

The courtyard that they're walking through gradually fills with hushed whispers as the news spreads. Everyone knows of Merlin. The Prince's manservant who had managed to not quit in the first week of serving him. Merlin, who changed the Prince from a spoiled brat into a good man whom the Kingdom was proud of and eagerly awaited the day he would be crowned King. Merlin, who had followed the Prince into battle time and time again to save Camelot.

I want a fanfiction where The Entire Of Camelot loves Merlin and is thankful for his role in making Arthur a good person. Where not only the Knights, but the Castle staff meet his mother and collectively decide that she is That Woman and treat her with Respect. Where they treat her like Royalty.

Ofc Gwaine loves her. That's his best friend's mom. Hunith looks at all the knights and adopts them on the Spot.

And Merlin is either really confused by this behavior or knows and just lets it happen.

Arthur has no idea what's going on or why but he treats her with reverence and love because that's his future Mother in Law and he's very much starved for parental affection which she gives him (and the knights) in spades.

But yes, I just want a fic of people meeting Hunith and being like "Thank you for giving birth to your son. I'd die for you both" and her being like "...please don't."

(Bonus if Leon meets her and is just like. "How did you survive being around that little shit (Merlin) for so long?" And she just laughs and gives him advice, which makes him cry because he's just so tired. #LetLeonRest2024 I will push this agenda till I die)

platonic soulmates Stobin

I sort of want a fanfic in which Merlin keeps his magic secret, never planning to ever reveal it.

Morgana is court sorceress, magic is legal, the golden age is thriving...

Sometimes Arthur will come to him and ask him to research some magical things and Merlin gives him all the information he needs, except that he's the most powerful sorcerer in the world. Arthur will complain to him about Morgana, question whether his decision to lift the ban was right, and Merlin supports it all.

The druids, no longer living in fear, still pay him respect, but they no longer talk to him. Because he's still Arthur's protector and it's good that no one knows.

"I kept lying to you." Merlin thinks as he watches Arthur sign yet another law for magic users. "So now, I don't deserve to live my truth."

And it is only after this that Merlin's magic is finally revealed.

Do you know the Discworld series by Terry Pratchett?

Because this Merlin gives me Lu-Tze vibes. He’s awesome.