Everything You Had - Steve Rogers / Bucky Barnes Fic
Summary: An unexpected turn while watching the Avengers in their latest battle causes all of Bucky’s memories to come back. This one is all angst and pain so proceed with caution. I’m sorry.
Inspired by Go Rest High on That Mountain sung by Vince Gill
I know your life
On earth was troubled
And only you could know the pain
You weren’t afraid to face the devil
You were no stranger to the rain
Go rest high on that mountain
Son, your work on earth is done
The Asset swore under his breath at the melee happening on the city street below. He’d been watching this group, the Avengers, since Captain America rejoined them in New York after recovering from the helicarrier.
His brain was still filling in the gaps of his life before he was The Asset. He’d gone to the Smithsonian, recognized his face and the face of Steve Rogers, but the memories weren’t there. A strangle compulsion to protect was there, and while he didn’t understand it, he let it drive him.
That was how he landed on a rooftop watching the Avengers, minus the large blond with the over-sized hammer, fighting their latest battle. He tried to stay out of it, to avoid the detection that would come with taking out too many of their opponents, but he did pick off a few that were taking aim for the Captain.
Scanning the scene for his next target, he spotted the shooter a fraction of a second after he fired. Eyes frantically following the trajectory, he watched as Steve crumpled to the ground, blood gushing from the gunshot to his neck.
“No!” The word came like a battle cry, unbidden and full of an unfamiliar mix of rage and pain.
He was running full tilt, slamming any obstacle out of his way in a frantic rush to get to the body, Steve’s body. His mind unleashed a torrent of images, memories from his past. His heart slammed against his chest at the all too painful knowledge that he’d remembered his best friend too late. Serum or not, he knew that shot would be fatal.
The red-head, Natasha he’d heard her called, was leaned over Steve shouting his name. “Please Steve! Don’t do this. Hang on.” He could hear the pain in her pleas, knew she was pleading against all odds.
He froze, only a few feet from Steve, torn between having a chance to say goodbye and fear of Steve’s reaction to his sudden presence.
The blond head shifted, piercing blue eyes staring straight at him. There was so much blood, Steve couldn’t really speak, but the second his hand extended toward Bucky, he lunged forward collapsing on his knees at the heroes side.
“I’m here, Stevie. I’m here.” He choked on the words as he sobbed. “Please don’t leave me. Not when I finally remember.”
Steve’s hand squeezed his, stronger than he’d once been, but still weaker than Bucky knew he should be.
“I’m so sorry. For everything. For leaving you. I was supposed to be with you till the end of the line.” He collapsed over Steve’s chest, not caring about the blood.
“Bucky.” His name was a gurgled whisper, but his heart stuttered at hearing it from him one final time before Steve’s grip on his hand fell lax, his breathing shuttering to a stop.
He stayed there, kneeling beside the body, collapsed over the now still chest of the best man he’d ever known until he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder.
“Bucky, we won’t take him from you, but the fighting is getting worse. If we don’t get his body to the jet, we may lose the chance to keep him safe.”
He eased up, looking confused at Natasha. He tried to kill her once. No twice. Why was she showing any compassion for him.
“He loved you.” She answered his silent question. “We can deal with our history later, but right now, we need to put it in the past for him.” Her words were quiet but firm.
“Do you want to carry him or can we let Iron Man? He can get him to safety faster.”
“Call him.” Bucky answered before looking once more to Steve. “It’s time for you to rest, Stevie. You gave everything you had an more to protect people for far longer than anyone could have asked. It’s your turn to rest. I’ll take over now. I’ll keep them safe for you.”
Bucky leaned over, gently closing Steve’s eyes as he placed a kiss on his forehead. Reaching across the fallen soldier, he gripped the hard, cold edge of the shield before pushing himself to his feet. Looking toward Natasha, he noted her arm holding Iron Man back, appreciated the understanding.
“Don’t leave without me.” He spoke, half commanding, half asking. He knew he had no right. Still, she nodded before he turned.
Natasha stared after The Winter Soldier for several seconds before remembering where they were. “Take him. Then get back out here.” She ordered Stark, not caring that she didn’t necessarily have the authority. His lack of reply as he knelt lift Steve’s body told her he was was as shaken as the rest by the sudden and unexpected turn of events.
Steve was supposed to outlive them all, aside from Thor. This wasn’t right.
Pulling her guns from their holsters, Natasha prepared to rejoin the fray. Looking around for her targets, it took her a moment to register what was happening.
“Hey Nat.” A voice buzzed in her ear piece.
“He’s on our side now, right?” The archer asked of the super soldier assassin that seemed determined to end the battle with his metal arm and Captain America’s shield. The rate he was dropping enemy bodies was breathtaking.
“Good, because he’s fucking scary.”
“Why don’t you use some of those fancy arrows Stark made you and help end this. We have more important things to tend to now than a bunch of self important idiots trying to take over the city.”
“Let’s finish this.” Sam’s voice chimed in, strained but clear. “For Cap.”
Natasha was the first to board the jet when the fighting was done, Bucky on her heels. He stopped just before running over her when she froze at the sight of Steve’s body laid peacefully on a stretcher. She could hear Bucky’s sharp intake of breath, almost feel the shudder that tore through him.
“Go on. The rest of us can wait until we get home to have our time with him.” She whispered, hold back the tears that wanted to spill.
He didn’t answer before he leapt past her, crashing to the floor beside Steve. She watched them until she heard Iron Man land outside, armor beginning to disassemble. He strode up to her, gauntlets still on as he eyed the men behind her. “Are you sure we should let him on the jet? You know he tried to kill both of you.”
“Try to stop him and I’ll kill you.” She napped, shifting to put herself squarely between Stark and where Bucky sat sobbing over his best friend’s body.
“Point taken. I’ll just go fly us home and leave him to you.” Stark skirted her, careful to stay on the far side from her charge.
Natasha watched as Sam and Clint jogged toward the jet. Both looked at her, their eyes red with tears. She gave them a glare, challenging them to say anything about their recently acquired passenger.
“You’ll get no argument from us. Cap … Steve would want him here.”
Nodding, she moved to the seat nearest Steve and Bucky as the jet began to prepare to leave.
“Bucky, you don’t have to strap in, but hang on, okay? Stark’s getting ready for takeoff.”
A slight nod of his head and a tightening of his grip around Steve was the only reply she received.
“I’m so sorry, Stevie. I’m so sorry. I should have been where I belong. I should have protected you.” Bucky kept repeating the words as he cried over his friend.
The other three remained quiet, not wanting to intrude but letting tears fall in their own grief over the loss of their Captain.
