tfw you realize you're no longer capable of doing the one thing you spent six years of your life and tens of thousands of dollars (and a decade + of debt) learning how to do
#not trek#personal log#feeling like a failure#college#grad school#bachelors degree#masters degree#failing#unemployment#no motivation#no inspiration#just 'try to stay alive one more day' over and over and over#survival#mental disorders#mental illness#depression#anxiety#hopelessness#despair#I devoted my entire formative & young adult life to building skills in something that's not a viable career & which I can't even DO anymore#because I guess I'm too fucking sick to do anything anymore#i hate myself and i want to die#kill me put me out of my gaddamn misery#unloveable#self loathing#sui thoughts#soul sick#jtkchu's brain#jtkchu is toxic#stfu jtkchu