(CW white author requesting help from POC; mention of racism, anti-Semitism, homophobia, xenophobia in fandom)

For anyone who reads my work on AO3 or the KS Archive... I've been really concerned for a few weeks now that certain elements of my K/S stories possibly come off as racist, anti-Semitic, offensive to people who speak two or more languages, and/or fetishizing mlm sexual relationships. As a very boring white cisgender demipan Protestant woman in the Midwestern United States, I have no inherent insight or awareness of what things I may or may not be doing as a writer that actually result in stereotyping, fetishizing, offense, or just hurt feelings in general. I say that not as an attempted excuse, but as a means of taking responsibility for any harm I may have done, because I am NOT okay with contributing to what I now understand is an already gigantic pile of cis-white-woman-authored K/S fanfiction that either deliberately or accidentally makes use of and perpetuates harmful perceptions of people who differ from my very small and comparatively cultureless lived experience/reality.

I don't want to be a bigot. And I don't want to be ignorant. I want to learn what I'm doing wrong so I can do better as a human being. If my stories are hurtful or insensitive, I would so much rather remove them, apologize for them, and try to learn from my mistakes than go on not even knowing that the things I think are just fluffy and cute are actually making someone feel bad or get angry or... anything negative like that. I've tried to educate myself as much as possible, but nevertheless every couple of days I come across more information that's completely new to me and makes me reevaluate everything I've assumed about the world from my protected and "normalized" bubble of whiteness. There's a point where I simply don't even think or know to question something because to me it is so ingrained or "insignificant" or taken for granted that I don't even realize it's something other people have to think about all the time.

If you're willing to be patient with me, I would truly appreciate your help with identifying and eliminating any aspects of my work which are or could be harmful. I apologize in advance for my ignorance, and for anything that might already be posted on my account(s) that is already doing damage (which I will absolutely change or take down if necessary).

Please let me know if I've hurt you. I don't want to hurt anybody and I promie I have never intended to. K/S is my only "ship" or fandom, my literal One True Pairing. It's not just that I want to get this right, it's also that Star Trek fans, K/S fans, and quite honestly Kirk and Spock themselves all deserve better than to have me give anything less than my absolute best effort. These characters and--more importantly--all of you guys in the fandom have literally kept me alive for the last couple of years, and I feel I owe it to you to do everything I can to keep our fan spaces safe for all of us.

I'm so sorry. But thank you all 💛💙