thought I had finally found a group of people I almost fit in with/could be myself with (an lgbtqia+ discord that's actually all local people) but after a month and a half of feeling okay and accepted for the first time in... idk how long, I ruined everything for myself by being "out" as a Christian, which apparently makes me The Enemy

that feeling when your crush knows you exist, speaks to you directly, returns your feelings, tells you they love you, refuses to let go of your hand, and is then just about to kiss you but right at that moment you wake up and realize it was all a dream and your soul implodes

never mind my post from last night, it feels laughably insignificant and selfish now that in half of this country people with wombs are, in the eyes of the state, nothing more than walking potential pregnancies (with less bodily autonomy than literal corpses)

if your neck hurts like a bastard, scream and swear—

👏 *fuck!* 👏 *FAAAHCK!!!* 😃👍

cry me a river, you weren't somebody's "first choice." bitch—I've never even been somebody's last resort.

cw gender stuff, chest/top stuff/binding

it took 2 days but yes I am finally now deeply embarrassed by the poor quality of my lunar/astrophotography thanks universe 👍

My life feels so... insipid. Every day is the same, every feeling is exhausting. I have no goals, no idea who I am or want to be, and no desire to do the things I used to enjoy. For roughly 10 months I've even been too nervous? anxious? depressed? to read comments I've gotten on my fics. What is even the point of asking "What's the point?" anymore?

(cw: self harm, depression, fatigue, loneliness/isolation)

I have a couple asks I still need to get to, but whining is about to take precedence-- (apologies)

Y'all... I have a crush (????) for the first time in almost a decade and I do NOT remember HOW on God's green earth I'm supposed to handle these FEELINGS

.......send help, your Friendly Neighborhood Unattractive Demi is not built to withstand this kind of agony 😣💔🥺💔😥💔😭💔🤦💔😵💔☠

I have become irrelevant to my own life

whether it's factually accurate or not, and whether I am entitled/allowed to feel these things or not, I currently feel

Illinois has a tax referendum on the upcoming ballot which, if passed, would put a higher income tax rate on any household that makes over $250,000 a year.

One of the tv ads trying to convince average citizens (so... for Illinois at large, households earning roughly $63,000 a year or less) to vote this thing down has a middle-aged farmer humbly pleading with us to "stand with family farms and small businesses," but what he fails to mention is that his "family farm" (a term which still generates sympathy in the Midwest and evokes images of impoverished, overworked manual laborers struggling to put food on the table) generates $500,000 each year and has a whopping two (2) employees. That's literally ten times the average household income of the zip code they're in.

But we're supposed to feel bad for this family that's making half a million dollars annually because... the state wants them to pay their fair share in income taxes like the rest of us???

I got my masters degree in English in 2014. I worked for a while but have now been unemployed for 14 month. Is it totally unreasonable of me that whenever I think, Boy, I should go back to school and start over in some kind of STEM program, I follow it up with, I have an advanced degree already and am still tens of thousands of dollars in debt--I shouldn't have to do any more school than the six years I've already done...??? Or do I seriously just need to go back to school and start over in a field that might actually allow me to achieve independence sometime before I turn 40?