Because along with his embarrassment, Dean is also very scared.

“The kings won’t be pleased if I let you—”

“Am I not also a king?” Dean asked petulantly.

“Technically, you’re King Consort. Your husbands both outrank you,” Charlie pointed out.

“Gabriel warns me this is a bad idea,” Castiel said when the silence became oppressive. “That I should find a way to kill you and move on.”

Dean snorted. “My brother says the same thing.”

“Cas, you want another beer?”

“Yes, Dean.  Thank you.”

“I’ll have a-”  But Dean’s already gone, completely ignoring Jimmy.  He gives himself a moment to appreciate the view of Dean walking away, then he turns on his brother.  “So that’s the beefcake that’s kept you too busy to see me?”

Castiel shrugs.  “Yes.”

“Does he know about…”  And then he gestures obscenely and waggles his eyebrows at his brother.

Normally not so easily perturbed, it’s gratifying that he gets a blush out of Cas.  “He is aware that I have an arrangement with someone not unlike a ‘friends with benefits’.  He has not asked about the particulars such as how often or with whom.”

“So he knows you fuck someone else but not that it’s me.”

“Precisely.”

(excerpt)

Cas watches, fascinated still.  When Dean’s done cleaning up, he starts slightly when he sees how intently Cas is looking at him.  “What?” he asks, voice cracking and adding to the boy’s embarrassment.

“Nothing.  I’m just… curious, I suppose.”

Dean grunts in reply, not making eye contact with the spirit.  “Yeah well, guess I was too.”

“Did you enjoy it?”

“Cas!” the boy yelps, then immediately winces.  He pauses before going on, making sure no one heard the outburst.  Lowering his voice, he grits out, “You can’t just ask people stuff like that!”

“Why not?”

“it’s… private.”

(excerpt)

Mr. Novak from Marketing was probably the worst at anything electronic that Dean had ever encountered.  And considering the average age of company employees was 55, that was really saying something.  The guy’s first day and he has to call Dean for help.  He was trying to set up his computer (and Dean immediately made a note to check with Ash why the hell his computer wasn’t already set up for him when he came in) and couldn’t tell the difference between an ethernet port and an HDMI hook-up.

Dean rolled his eyes, explained the difference and talked him through the process of telling the two apart.  (Like seriously?  How did this need to be explained, they had completely different sizes and the fact that Novak had somehow managed to get the rectangular HDMI cable wedged into the square ethernet port had Dean both baffled and impressed.)  By the end of the conversation, Dean was confused the guy was some old dude who hadn’t had his own working computer until well after he’d graduated from college.  No way a guy anywhere this side of forty could be that bad at computers.

(Plus you don’t get a voice that deep and gravelly unless you’ve been chain smoking two packs a day for at least a few decades.)

After helping Novak work out the problem, he politely gave him his private extension in case he ever had any future issues.  The guy seemed thankful enough and wasn’t offended that Dean had basically said he expected to hear from him on a weekly basis.

(excerpt)

Jimmy grabbed a glass of the shitty coffee they always served during the first week and took a seat at the table closest to the back.  It was godawful having to wake up this early again after a summer off, and there was no way anyone could expect him to be a fully functional human being right now.  Maybe with two more cups of liquid caffeine in him, but right now he was feeling antisocial.

Unfortunately Winchester came into the crowded cafeteria, grabbed his own cup of coffee and a couple donuts, and made a beeline right for him.  Which was aggravating because now he might have to engage socially and seem competent at smalltalk.  But lucky for them both, Winchester was a nice guy and easy on the eyes, so Jimmy was willing to allow the intrusion.

They grunted at each other and then silently agreed to forgo any further attempts at conversation.

That is, until Castiel walked in with a group of Kindergarten teachers and Dean nearly choked on his breakfast.

(excerpt)

It’s not like Jimmy didn’t know he had a tendency to put his foot in his mouth.  He says what comes to mind, never bothering to think it through.  And unlike his brother, he doesn’t have a general lack of social skills to blame for it.  Nope, just his big fat mouth and no filter to keep the word vomit at bay.

And it never bothered him before.  He says things, some people get offended, and he shrugs it off.  People like that normally aren’t worth the time, so it’s better he finds out early on and can relegate them to the sphere of ‘casual acquaintances.’  

So when he agrees to meet up at the Roadhouse with his brother and some of his friends from school, it doesn’t occur to him to watch what he says.  He never does.  He spots Castiel easily enough and weaves his way through the crowd.  Once he reaches the edge of the table, he grabs the beer in front of his brother and steals a few gulps.  He spares a once over for the cutie sitting across from his twin, even winks at him, before his focus goes back to Cas.

“Did you see the ride outside?  Good lord, an old junker of a car like that outside means there’s gotta be some old gearhead in here.  Any chance of me finding this sugar daddy and taking a ride?”  And then he waggles his eyebrows suggestively.  

In the months to follow, he’ll remember that as the exact moment his life went to hell.

(excerpt)

Dean's halfway home from work when he remembers they're out of beer.  He does a u-turn at the next set of lights and doubles back to the fancy liquor store he likes, the one that does the growlers.  And yes, he's needlessly picky (there's a cheap liquor store about a block away from their apartment) but he likes this place.  It's worth the extra drive time, despite Cas' teasing otherwise.  

Once inside, he wanders around a little bit.  He knows what he's getting but likes to see if anything catches his eye.  As he makes his way through the aisles, a familiar silhouette catches his eye.  There, at the end of the liquor aisle, is Cas.  

And, to be fair, that should've set off some alarms.  Cas is more of a wine kind of guy and the way he's browsing the hard liquor stinks of someone trying to drink and forget their problems, which is about as un-Cas like as it gets.  But Dean doesn't think much of it, instead sneaking up behind him.  When he's within arm's reach, he spins Cas around and lays a big kiss right on his lips.  

(excerpt)

When they arrive home, they are greeted by Mr. Bennet who seems quite amused to see Mr. Collins and the Lucas sisters in tow.  

"Did we have an enjoyable trip into town, girls?"

Lydia stomps off, muttering about how someone's inopportune arrival scared off the officers.  Mr. Bennet raises an eyebrow at the elder sisters in question.

"She's overreacting," Elizabeth scoffs as she removes her gloves.  

Jane, as usual, is more sympathetic.  "It was a rather eventful trip, Lydia is likely just a little... put out."

"Eventful was it?" Mr. Bennet muses.  "Was there anything in particular besides Mr. Collins following you into town that I ought to know about?  Not that Lydia couldn't make a mountain out of that mole hill, I'm sure."

(excerpt)

“Hey hey hey, babe, calm down it’s okay-” Dean soothed, propping himself up on his arm when he couldn’t pull Cas back to bed.

“I love you,” Cas gasped with tears streaming from his eyes.  “I love you, I love you-”

“Cas, I know.”  He pulled Cas in close with his other arm, kissing his neck and stroking the back of his neck.  “What’s wrong-”

“She made me kill you.”

(excerpt)

But that was when the dream shattered.  Because this couldn’t be Castiel, the lost boy at the state fair.  This was Jimmy, Gabriel’s younger brother.  Handsome guy, yes, but not the one Dean may or may not have been looking for since he was nine friggin years old.

Dean figured he arrived first, but the hostess brought him straight to an already occupied table.  The man stood up and held out his hand for Dean to shake (though not before wiping them on his pants under the table).  And fuck if looking into those blue eye eyes isn’t like getting punched in the gut.

He’s dreamt about swimming in those eyes for over a damn decade, radiant and perfect and maybe even better than he remembered-

(excerpt)

Three weeks into the semester and all he knows is that the guy's last name is Novak.  And he only knows that much from when the professor hands back tests.  

And three weeks is way too long for him to keep sitting on his ass about this.  Every day he tells himself *today's the day* just before he chickens out and ducks out the back door.  But today, *finally*, he's really going to do it.  Working up his nerve all class (and basically ignoring the whole lecture), Dean plans out what he's going to say to him.

(excerpt)

And then one day the students see Shepard and Vakarian ducking into his office, goofy smiles on their faces, and the gossip lights up.  Before it was just speculation and bored cadets thinking they’d be great together.  Now there’s proof it might be legit.  The whole student body silently agrees to keep an eye out and watch.

(excerpt)

"As you are all I'm sure aware, this lovely estate is entailed to me-"

"You wouldn't say?"

Mr. Collins continues on as if he didn't hear Mrs. Bennet's outburst.  "-and I would be deeply remiss in my duties as both a clergyman and your cousin, if I did not try to assuage the stress you no doubt feel in regards to the rather morbid thought of your dear father's death."  Jane's mouth drops open and Lizzie starts.  Mrs. Bennet has, for once in her life, been rendered speechless.  Mr. Bennet, for his part, looks merely amused.  "Which is of course to say that I came here with every intention of marrying one of my fine cousins, as it seems the best solution to the problem."  

"Oh Lord, he's actually saying it out loud."

Lizzie kicks Lydia's foot under the table, though she finds herself equally baffled at the impropriety.  She shares a look with Jane and then one with Kitty, who merely looks confused and perhaps a bit nervous at the vagueness of 'one of my cousins."

(excerpt)

Shepard lies back, resting her head against the top of the tub and letting the jets do their job.  One's shooting right into her lower back, relaxing the muscles tight from one too many fights and sleepless nights, and it's friggin heaven.

Over the bubbles she hears someone approaching.  Knows that stride before she peaks out to watch Garrus saunter down the path.  

(excerpt)

The first thing Jimmy does when he wakes up is demand breakfast.  The second thing is call his work to request more time off.  The third is to demand they start planning their next scene.

Castiel watches his brother with amusement, Dean with stunned silence.

(excerpt)

They have no friggin clue what they're hunting.  The victims disappear for days, maybe as long as a couple weeks.  When they're found, they're malnourished and severely dehydrated.  Puncture wounds riddle their arms and legs, small enough to be from needles but in patterns reminiscent of bite marks.  All of the victims claimed to have no memory of where they'd been.  Vague descriptions of what might have been a barn or a warehouse or a particularly large, unfinished basement.  But they all became pretty tight lipped after that.  No more details about what happened or who did it.  

(excerpt)

After everything, it kills him to see her leave.  

Because for the first time, he truly doesn’t know if she’ll come back.  Liara has to physically drag him onto the ship and manhandle him to the medbay.  Not because he resists, but simply because he’s forgotten how to put one foot in front of the other.  He’s numb to the world around him as Chakwas checks his arm (completely limp at his side) or the gash bleeding into his eye.  Instead he centers his focus on his right hand, feeling for every minute change.  Anything that would-

(excerpt)

Cas remembers when he found out all too clearly.  

July 25th.  

Amelia's 16th birthday.  

They'd been dating most of the school year and were head over heels for each other.  Cas knew it, their parents knew it, hell the whole friggin school knew it.  Really, kissing to prove their compatibility was just a formality.  And maybe it stung a little, that in a few hours his brother would come home and he'd be completely forgotten, but oh well, at least he'd be happy with the love of his life.

Jimmy went all out preparing for it.  Nice dinner, romantic walk in the park ending with them catching the end of a jazz concert by the lake.  A perfect evening for soulmates to kiss for the first time.  Fucking romance novel bullshit is what it was, but hey, Jimmy wanted it to be memorable.

(excerpt)

“You ever make your way out to Lawrence?”

For the first time that evening, Castiel appears to be caught off guard.  Just for a second, his eyes darken and a bit of the carefully arranged mask of polite interest slips away.  “Can’t say that I have.”

“Looks like you’ve heard of it though.”

A beat of hesitation, quickly covered by him reaching for his drink.  He savors the taste of whiskey on his tongue, carefully not making eye contact with Dean before answering.  “I think I might have.  It’s in Kansas, right?”  Dean nods.  “One of my brothers actually lives out in KC.  That’s probably why it sounds familiar.”

"Must be.”  Dean smiles with too much teeth.  Fake through and through.  “You know, I actually grew up in Lawrence.”

This time, however, Castiel is prepared and gives nothing away at the admission. 

(excerpt)

For the next few missions, Garrus is genuinely too tired and hurt to even consider tagging along.  The difference is this time, he's upfront about his limitations and listens to the good doctor's advice on the matter.

Though even if she would clear him with a clean bill of health, he doubts it would matter.  Shepard watches him like a hawk and exploits their bond to monitor his recovery.  He's always had a tendency to downplay his injuries, but now he finds every twitch and grimace carefully noted and assumed to be the worst unless he owns up to it.  

(opening to next chapter)

"Hello Dean."

The man in question is bent over his his bed as he untucks the sheets.  Not a bad view, but he stands up and winks at Cas.  Tossing the bedding aside, he gestures for him to come closer.  

"Hey, if it isn't my cute sophomore boyfriend.  C'mere!"

Rolling his eyes, he moves into Dean's open arms.  "I won't be a sophomore until August, Dean."

"You finish your last exam?"

"Yes, but-"

"Then technically, you're a sophomore."  Dean gives him a quick hug and peck on the cheek.  "You here to help?"

(excerpt)

The colors were dull around the edges, not as crisp and vibrant as they used to be.  As they were still trying to be.  But most noticeably, at the core, was a whispy cloud of black darting back and forth.  Smaller than he had first feared it would be, but undeniably there and alive and growing.

"Please, Cas.  It's still me under here."

In hindsight, he should've known better.  The ruse was so obvious.  But he so desperately wanted to believe it.

(excerpt, probably will be re-worked or moved around)

Any interest the Bennet may hold in Mr. Bingley - and at the moment, it centered around enduring Mrs. Bennet's complaints of, "Why hasn't he proposed yet?" - disappears the moment their father announces he's received a letter and they are to receive a visitor.

"Mr. Collins?" Lydia asks, face screwed up in distaste.  "My, even his name sounds dreadfully boring."

"Lydia," Jane scolds, "he can hardly help his name."

"Yes, dear," interjects Mrs. Bennet.  "If you're to dislike the man for anything, let it be that he'll be kicking us all out of the house before your father's bones are cold in his grave."

(intro to chapter)

During his junior year, he'd moved off campus into a small loft apartment.  The ceilings were high, giving the single room a more open feel despite the fact that once you took two steps out of the kitchen, you were in the living room/office.  All with a very good view of the large California King bed tucked into the corner.  The space was large enough to suit his needs, but not so large that he could reasonably be expected to entertain anyone.

Absolutely perfect, considering having people over usually brought up some uncomfortable *questions*.  

Because Cas didn't live alone.  No, he lived with his two boyfriends.  Which alone might have made things *complicated* should they have guests over.  Explaining that he had two boyfriends, who were also dating each other, was unusual.  Their friends would no doubt be open-minded about it... If it weren't for the fact that one of them was his twin brother.

His twin, with the matching set of blue eyes that were now glaring dangerously at him.  

(excerpt)

Emotions of that magnitude were not meant for angels.  Look to Lucifer if you wanted an example of why.  Soulmates were a gift to mankind, and yet these angels stole that gift for themselves.  It was scornful, a corruption of something that was not theirs.

Castiel agreed wholeheartedly.

Mostly because he was told to.

(excerpt)

Without meaning to, Cas strained against the handcuffs holding him in place.  He wanted so desperately to touch, to grab, to wrestle control away from them and take.  Which was probably why they’d felt the need to restrain him in the first place.

“So, Cassie,” Jimmy shifted on the bed so that he was straddling Cas’ legs.  “This is the only decision we’re letting you make tonight.”

He squirmed against his bindings and tried arch up into Jimmy or Dean.  At least that glancing touch might bring some relief-

The effort earns him a tsk and a slap to his leg.  Once Jimmy had his attention again, he smiled wide.  “Which one of us would you like to fuck?”

Dean slung an arm around Jimmy, leaned in to nibble at his neck - deliberately teasing Castiel, he knew - before resting his head on Jimmy’s shoulder.  “So what’ll it be, Cas?  Which one of us you fucking today?”

(excerpt, will need to be re-worked)

Garrus froze for a moment as the words sunk in.  Sure, they were lighter and lacking the reverberations that the translator normally added in.  But there was no mistaking what Shepard had just said.  

Shepard, at least, hadn’t noticed him clam up.  One of the other humans gave him a curious look, tilting his head and raising an eyebrow in question.  He mouthed something, but Garrus was no where near proficient enough at English to be able to parse out the words.  He shook his head to show his confusion.

(excerpt, might re-work and change POV)

This is honestly the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened in Dean’s life.  Worse than when he threw up in the middle of gym class during fifth grade.  Worse than when he fell off the stage at graduation practice.  Hell, it was worse when Sammy walked in on him watching gay porn that one time (but at least that had taught his little brother to actually knock for fuck’s sake).  And the cherry on top of this whole awful experience?

It’d happened in front of Castiel and all of his friends.  

So... there goes that relationship up in flames.

(intro to short nsfw ficlet)

After dating for about a semester, Dean gets invited by the twins to their family’s cabin for Spring Break.  Dean is under the (mistaken) assumption that some of their family will be there.  Turns out it’s just the three of them with the place to themselves for a long weekend... 

(premise/summary)

couple missions, garrus forced to stay and recover and shepard makes damn sure he does his pt (if he doesn't do his stretches, she makes him do them before bed or he can't sleep in the bed - one day he tries to be stubborn and sleep on the couch; he gives in after ten minutes of tossing and turning, does them quickly and then slips into the bed)

(notes for intro)

And it sucked.  He has a crush on both of them, and it wasn't seeing them a two halves of a whole or some insulting bullshit like that.  He genuinely liked each of them for themselves.  He loved Cas' dry sense of humor and general pop cultural aloofness, how his happiness or confusion or sadness was told by the microcosms of his expression.  Just like he loved Jimmy's inability to take anything seriously and carefree full bodied laugh he never tried to suppress.  They were both beautiful and smart and kind and everything Dean could ever want...  And the idea of choosing between them broke his heart a little, so he told himself he'd never do that.

(possible excerpt, will probably be re-worked)

"You could not have missed how artfully her mother orchestrated her prolonged stay at Netherfield?"

"Orchestrated?  Her own daughter's sickness?  That's absurd-"

"The family does own a carriage, and it did look like rain."

He mulls over that for a moment.

(excerpt from a conversation between Caroline and Bingley; not even sure what chapter it’ll appear in, definitely not the next two though...)

anniversary of detroit, deans in a mood --> can't get shit done because of it so he's more upset because he needs the distraction --> cas finds him mid rant (poor chuck) --> he drags dean to his cabin, makes him sit down --> rolls a joint, lights it and hands it to dean

(notes for the opening)

And it's not like Dean's embarrassed about how he watches gay porn.  He's made it pretty clear to everyone that he swings both ways.  Because he does, and quite happily at that.  But the awkward part, the thing that's giving his heart all sorts of palpitations, is that maybe for a minute or two there he'd kinda sorta imagined it was Cas and Jimmy going at it.  That Cas had overpowered his brother and was fucking into him like it was his job.  

(actual excerpt)

runs into caroline at a party, they chat because elizabeth can't really avoid it; she gossips about how this that and the other, eventually mentions darcy and anne de bourgh are reportedly secretly dating (elizabeth later checks and does find the rumor in some tabloid, she's surprisingly let down by it)

(notes)

he's in the same summer class as gordon of all people (some intro econ class for business students); gordon has never apologized for the incident in the hall, but he's friendlier (ish??); he teases in a way that he prbly views as friendly but is actually kind of borderline dickish

(notes)