The damn M25 am I right?

Anyway this is probably my favourite scene in Good Omens so of course I had to draw it lol

alright this is so dumb but. ineffable husbands au where they’re still both an angel and a demon living on earth as field agents but they think the other is just an ordinary human. they were never made aware of each other’s stationing on earth so they meet completely by chance, and of course inexplicably fall in love, and basically end up spending all their time together trying to hide that they’re an angel/demon from the other while completely oblivious to the fact that the other is not only also a supernatural being, but the Enemy. somehow they manage to go years without ever finding each other out. idk what would happen next but I think it would be funny

GOSH they would both be doing their best to “age” the way a human would and decades pass with them making themselves look gradually older and feigning joint pain and stuff and each of their hearts is slowly breaking because they know the other will die soon and they’ll be left to live alone for eternity….but neither….dies. they reach their 70th anniversary and each is relieved that their human lover has lasted so long but also utterly flummoxed

@transastronautistic your notes

Better if they kind of think it’s suspicious, but neither of them actually knows enough about humanity to feel confident about bringing it up.

Sure, every other human they’ve known has barely managed to cling on for a full century, but maybe some humans just… do live longer than others?

Same with other things. Crowley gets too comfortable and unthinkingly pulls off his glasses. Aziraphale is definitely puzzled, but wonders if it’s just a really uncommon medical condition he hasn’t seen before, or something. (His friend is clearly embarassed about it, so Aziraphale decides not to bring it up and pretend it never happened. Crowley, meanwhile, can’t believe he got away with that.)

Aziraphale forces Crowley to sit through his magic act. Crowley grudgingly admits that it’s quite good for a human, but he’s not sure what’s up with these doves. He could have sworn that one had its neck broken (and was about to miracle it better before Aziraphale noticed— he will insist on stuffing them up his sleeves!) but then it just seemed to straighten itself out and fly away. Still, Aziraphale didn’t seem to think it was weird. Maybe doves just do that sometimes. Crowley’s not an ornithologist.

The Bentley won’t cooperate when Aziraphale is in it, and Crowley can’t figure out why. He thinks it’s because it’s being affected by his own nerves, and doesn’t know that Aziraphale was horrified at the dangerous way his mortal and therefore very fragile human friend was driving, and has been miracling the car so that it always keeps the speed limit.

Crowley has taken to showing up at the bookshop at late hours to try and persuade his friend to go to sleep, because he’s worried about him staying up so late all the time. Especially at his age.

Okay, but they still have to do their blessing/temptations and it’s the most ridiculous nonsense possible because Aziraphale turns up to thwart the demon that Head Office insists is on earth somewhere and runs into Crowley a.k.a Aziraphale’s Delightful Human Friend and Aziraphale immediately starts coming up with increasingly implausible reasons about why Crowley needs to leave this area Right Now (because heaven forbid that Aziraphale let a terrible malicious demon anywhere near Dear Crowley). 

He finally gets Crowley out of there by just inviting him to lunch. Crowley sort of half-laughs and says ‘you know Angel, if you want to go on a date with me, you can just ask.” 

And Aziraphale freezes dear-in-the-headlights because Angel? Oh no, he’s been caught! He babbles incoherently for a few seconds like ‘ahahah angel? why would you call me that? That’s so weird! Clearly I am a normal human just like you!!’

Crowley, who just had a slip of the tongue and has just accidentally out-loud referred to his beloved human friend by the pet-name he’s been using in the privacy of his own brain is panicking now because oh no, Aziraphale doesn’t like it, is Crowley making him uncomfortable? Does Aziraphale not like him the way Crowley thought he might like him? What if he’s Ruined Everything and Aziraphale Doesn’t Want To See Him Anymore *internal distressed Snek noises*

So he babbles ‘oh I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable I won’t do it again. It’s just you’re so sweet and kind and genuinely thoughtful and you care about doing the right thing even if it’s against the rules, even though you hate breaking rules and you’re so sincere and and and I just think you’re like an angel really ought to be. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I won’t do it again, really!’

And there’s a pause.

And then Aziraphale says shyly ‘well, I was just surprised. I don’t mind if you call me that again. It’s okay if it’s you saying it.” And he smiles hopefully.

‘Ngk’ says Crowley, master of demonic temptation, Hell’s operative on Earth. 

Aziraphale takes him by the arm and pulls Crowley towards the doors, He does a last quick scan of the room, but there’s no sign of demonic goings on anywhere. Maybe the adversary has been scared off?

‘So’ he says to Crowley, who has just got his breathing back under control, ‘how about crepes?’.

‘Crepes, yeah, yeah, sounds good,’ says Crowley, figuring what the Heaven he can postpone a few temptations until later. Maybe he can tell Down Stairs that his heavenly adversary finally showed up. (If there even is one. Six thousand years and frankly the closest Crowley’s ever seen to an angel on earth is his sweet human.)

There’s another pause as they exit the building and then Aziraphale says hesitantly ‘my dear, did you mean it?’

‘Mean what, angel?’ replies Crowley, basking in the permission so recently given.

‘About asking you on a date. I . .  I would quite like to take you out, my dear, if you’re amenable?’

‘NGK’ says the architect of original sin, trying not to swallow his own tongue.

Scenes I need...

It had been a joke, a flippant line, but somehow, Loki found himself taking the youth up on it.

It was hard living around these heroic Avengers, hard trying to stay close to Thor. And when he felt his need for mischief rise too high, when he felt exasperation with these Midgardians turn too close to spite, he would casually say “Six.” to the young man, or sometimes “Seven.”

And Peter would spend the rest of his day with Loki. He would badger him with questions about magic, or drag him across his beloved city to see its entertainments, or take him along stopping petty crimes. He grounded Loki to the here and now, and distracted him from the churning, jagged shards of ice in his mind.

WE NEED LOKI AND PETER FICS

Stark’s brat had a system. It had been amusing, at first glance, especially when “killing puppies” was apparently a higher level of evil than trying to take over the world. It had risen and fallen - two, five, one. There were honestly good days.

It took some time before a truly bad day came up.

After a difficult battle, the Captain was being particularly sanctimonious, his team following suit. Even Stark made biting comments.

Loki could scream.

“Spider-man,” he said as calmly as he could. The young man glanced up, having been tying up some of their enemies a few yards away.

“Seven.”

“… okay, guys, I’m going to head out with Loki for the rest of the day. Don’t need us for debrief, yeah?”

“Sure,” Stark shrugged, glancing between the two of them oddly. Loki wasn’t entirely sure what the plan was. They went in civilian clothes to a small café.

“I wasn’t paying attention, so whatever was said, I don’t agree,” Peter began. “But that’s not what I’m here for. So. When you teleport, how does that work? Is it harder with longer distances? Or is knowledge of the place more helpful?” Loki blinked, but explained. It led to a discussion of magical theory. Peter (Loki still called him Parker aloud, but the child and even his young friends grew on him in time) was eager and curious, comparing what he knew from Strange and fantasy books to Loki’s knowledge. It was admittedly fascinating to see how many versions of sorcery humans had created by mere imagination. He was definitely amused by the elves and dwarves of Lord of the Rings.

Sometimes Peter tentatively asked about Strange and Maximoff, if they were doing similar things. Never if Loki was at an 8 or above though.

“Strange is like a child prodigy. He’s good, picks the practical parts up well. He even got the jump on me - but he has not had as much time to study as me. He’s a student where I am a master. Maximoff is incredibly powerful and incredibly lucky, but she does not have much training at all.” Sometimes conversation turned to music, animals, current events.

Peter was good. It was odd, how Loki became so sure of the fact so quickly.

After the conversations, often accompanied with food or a walk, he was always down to a 3 or so. Which made Peter an important person.

So the next time Peter was in trouble and the Avengers were indisposed, Loki was not the least bit surprised that he was not the only one ready to tear someone apart for the kid. Two men in red - one with horns, one with guns and swords - a young girl with cat-shaped blasters on her hands, and the Captain’s assassin friend. Loki curled his lips and muttered:

“For anyone that harms you? 10.”

IT GOT MORE SINCE THE LAST TIME I SAW IT AND IM IN LOVE

also, the fact we get Daredevil, Deadpool, Shuri, and James teaming up with Loki to protect Peter? I AM HERE FOR ALL THIS HELLS YES

(I thought I didn’t have anything to add but I do)

It was just after noon on a Saturday when Loki got a text from Peter, all it said was 

‘8, I’m at home′

Peter had never used their number system for himself before.

Loki had promised the boy’s aunt he would not teleport into their home and while he’d had every intention of honouring that promise, this was definitely an exception.

When Loki materialized in Peter’s room, his friend was pacing, angry and red-faced. Loki had never seen Peter furious before.

Peter began shouting when he saw Loki, ‘Men are scum! Irredeemable, horrible, crappy, scummy scum!’

‘Thank you for telling me, Peter.’ Loki said, sitting down on Peter’s bed. ‘Any particular men inspiring this diatribe?’

Peter grabbed a pillow off his bed and screamed into it, ‘There’s a guy at Aunt May’s work who’s harassing her and she says I need to stay out of it and let Human Resources do their jobs and he’s a creep and he’s making May feel creeped out and… I don’t know what to do.’

Loki blinked. Of all the people Peter could have gone to, he had chose Loki.

‘Thank you, for telling me this. Although I’m not sure how I can be of help.’

Peter flopped down onto the bed next to Loki, ‘You’re my friend and you’re an adult. And I wasn’t sure who else to talk to.’

Loki flopped back next to Peter, it seemed appropriate. ‘If Human Resources doesn’t sort this out to your satisfaction, I can turn this person into a goat.’

Peter giggled, ‘An ugly, stupid goat?’

‘Any kind of goat you like,’ Loki replied.

#khazadnovember day sixteen: frerin

inspired by linddzz’s amazing fic signal strength

I feel like people tend to imagine achilles as being big and hairy and muscle-bound but I just want to remind y’all that he apparently spent quite a long time disguised as a girl and nobody could fucking tell?? including Odysseus, who had to trick him into revealing himself, but was apparently not smart enough to figure out which of the beautiful women in front of him was a man in a dress???

so like please consider: petite fine-boned achilles. achilles with killer cheekbones and big dark eyes w long eyelashes. ppl meeting achilles and being all “you’re the one who’s supposed to be a scary warrior?” and then later he he picks up trojans twice his size and flings them across the battlefield and they’re like ‘oh’. achilles being significantly shorter than hector and needing to tilt his head back to yell at him. patroclus being able to sling achilles over his shoulder. patroclus giving achilles piggyback rides. achilles needing patroclus to reach stuff down for him sometimes. achilles being the little spoon. tiny pretty achilles okay

THIS MAKES THE SONG OF ACHILLES SO DIFFERENT IN MY HEAD

Kelley Temple, National Union of Students UK Women’s Officer  (via lunagemme)

mfw my headcanon is John doesn’t pressure Sherlock into sex

mfw jealous possessive awkward Sherlock

OTP Challenge 1. Holding hands (out of 30)

Influenced by this wonderful post by adirred. (Which you all need to read - especially Supernatural fans).

This was all meant in good fun, and I don’t know if any of it is true, because I’ve never watched any of it. This is the impression I get of the show based on the Sherlock posts that sometimes pop up on my dash. 

The HILARIOUS thing is that EVERYTHING here is just so DEAD. ON.

BRB.  DYING OF LULZ. 

John: no more texting until you’ve eaten something sherlock!

Sherlock: but John!

John: I said no!

Sherlock: fine, you’ve wanted it. 

Kisses him

raisedbylibrarians answered: Making out on the couch. Those are always my favorite.

I’m sorry if you were expecting something more porny. I don’t seem to be able to do porn.  And that is a shame, bacause we have some really good artists in this fandom that have proven to draw excellent pics, and I wish I could try but… I don’t know how to :S

Also, I’m doing all the requests you made me last night, It will take some time though.

The loves of my life.

Next question: Does Sherlock need help because he is

a) stuck under the bed and John has decided to leave him there for being such an insufferable prat.

b) trying to come out from under the bed but can't because John is perched atop it and is attacking him with pillows every time he so much as peeks out.