FUN FACT: it seems like more and more people are coming out as asexual because we finally feel safe enough to do so, it is not a fad, it is not a trend, and if you think it is one of those things please hop on the shut-the-fuck-up train to don’t-fucking-speak-to-me-ville.

Holy shit, it’s been put into words.

Also, people are coming out as asexual because we finally know that this is a thing that exists. We are reading things on the internet and thinking, “Oh, this sounds like me,” and, “There are other people who feel like this?” and, “Maybe I’m not broken after all.”

I wasn’t aware asexuality even existed until a couple of years ago. I mentioned asexuality to a coworker maybe a month ago and her reaction was astonished joy and, “That sounds like me!” I spoke to a woman in her fifties who said, “I always just assumed I was broken.”

People are coming out as asexual because they’ve learned that asexuality exists.

#q#yes this#also like#just because you as a non-ace person are just now hearing about it doesn't mean it hasn't been a low-key community for a long time???#I had a friend come out as asexual in fucking 1997#and after a brief gigglefest about asexual reproduction#she just said 'no like how Beth is bisexual I'm the invert of that: no interest at all'#and we just all went oooooh right okay that makes sense#and stopped trying to set her up with people#you fucksticks that was NINETEEN FUCKING YEARS AGO#it's not a fad#ace people just finally have access to safe places and networks online#and a place like Tumblr where we've FINALLY started beating out of people the idea that cis-het is the default#asexual#actually queer#bigotry within the queer community (via)

Wonderful sentiment.

But I wonder if now is the time to point out that people younger than her are also starting to push back on using “lame” in that fashion, instead recognizing it for the ableist slur it is.

#I realize it's a gradual thing#took YEARS to really scrub the use of 'gay' like that from my vocabulary and huzbee's#and I AM queer#but I'm also disabled#and disabled by something that makes me at times LITERALLY LAME#in the literal sense of the word#in the way a horse might be said to be lame#in the sense that MY LEGS CANNOT SUPPORT MY BODY#using that term to mean anything OTHER than that is ableist#it's just ironic to see her exchanging one slur for another while trying to explain why she gave one up#but apparently sees no problem in the other#Sarah Silverman#English is a fluid language#and we should push that fluidity towards justice and fairness and lack of discrimination#inch by inch by inch (via)

Omfg, I’m on the phone with jezunya and I can hear our mother in the background asking if there’s a new Agent Carter episode to watch.  She’s very sad to find out that there wasn’t a new one this week.  She just loves Agent Carter so much I can’t.

#Agent Carter #Peggy Carter #Marvel #MCU #women of Marvel #I mean my mom has been a geek for a very long time #I remember her playing D&D before I was old enough to see the top of the table #my very first D&D character was one I shared with her #she read us Tolkien and Eddings and Zelazny and Card and Le Guin as bedtime stories #she raised six kids and then went back to college to get certified to teach elementary school #she's in her 50s and is a hardcore Agent Carter fangirl and I love it #I hope Marvel realizes what a cross-demographic gem they have in Agent Carter #I want twelve seasons of this show omg #and apparently so does my mom #my family #my siblings

In which our mom is once again the best and cutest being in all creation :D

ATTENTION DISABLED/CHRONIC PAIN FOLKS!

DO YOU USE A HANDICAP PLACARD?

WATCH THE FUCK OUT BECAUSE POLICE ARE HARASSING FOLKS WHO “DON’T LOOK DISABLED” TO CHECK FOR PLACARD FRAUD.

KEEP YOUR PAPERWORK ON YOU AT ALL TIMES!

IF YOU DO NOT HAVE PROPER PAPERS YOUR PLACARD WILL BE TAKEN AWAY! FUCK PIGS, UP THE DISABLED PUNX.

A post for all my US spoonies

I don’t know if there’s something new going on, or maybe this is in relation to the protests and such, but here in California the police have made a concerted effort over the last few years to weed out people who illegally use placards that don’t belong to them, particularly at large crowded events.  Here’s an article on Sonoma County Sherrif doing so at a NASCAR event this summer, with this quote:

And there’s this video news report showing the disabled placard check point at that NASCAR event and the officers requesting paperwork as proof of valid disabled placard usage.  It’s there to protect disabled people, not harass them.  The only people getting in trouble over this are the able-bodied fucks who try to get away with using grandma’s placard so they can get better parking at a sports event.

It’s the LAW that you MUST carry your paperwork with you when you use your disabled placard.  I keep my paperwork folded up in my purse, in case I ever need it.  Folded, it’s much much smaller than the placard itself, so it’s not like it’s a burden to have to carry the paperwork, too.  And if I only used my placard in one car, I’d just keep the paperwork in there, no big deal.  If you’re legally using a disabled placard in your own name, just carry the paperwork proving it and you’ll be fine.

I’m as much in favor of eliminating police brutality and overreach as the next person.  But we have to realize that cops DO actually provide important services to the communities they serve — especially the cops who aren’t power-hungry bigots.  And one of the important services cops can provide is making sure that able-bodied shitheads aren’t illegally using accommodations set aside for disabled people.

Any cop who asks to see the paperwork to back up your disabled placard is just trying to protect disabled people.  If you are disabled but don’t carry your paperwork, you are to blame, not the cops.

Wait…who has paperwork? In NY our placard just has to match our driver’s license or ID card. Like, if they want to make certain of proof of disability, I just hand over my placard and license. 

Also, I’m all for getting rid of parking violators, trust me, I’ve yelled at enough of them (among other things), but it has to be mentioned that invisibly disabled people are going to have a harder time being believed. 

The paperwork probably varies state to state.  In California, the placard comes with a half-sheet of paper that has all the valid user’s info on it, name birthdate DL etc, along with the ID number that appears on the placard.  In the video I linked above (and others from that series, showing more of the same), if someone using a CA disabled placard didn’t have the paperwork, the next step was for the cop to call in the placard number and see if the birthdate on file for that placard matched the birthdate of the person using it.  So having the paperwork available just skips the step of the cop calling in the number.  Probably similar process with different details, state to state.

I’m also in the invisible disability/illnesses category, and yeah, us invisibly disabled people will ALWAYS get the worst of it, whether we’re talking cops or civilians.  I had an asshat approach me in a parking lot a week or two back demanding that I tell him how to get in on the “scam” so he could also get a fake placard too, and refused to believe me (or leave me alone) when I told him I was disabled and using it validly.

And frankly, I wish there HAD been a cop checking placards in that parking lot, because I have every legal right to use mine without being harassed by strangers, and I would have gone directly to the cop for help with said harassing stranger.  Cops checking for placard fraud are here to HELP us and PROTECT us, not punish us for not looking disabled enough.

The ONLY way I can see this hurting genuinely disabled people is when a disabled person doesn’t have access to a doctor who will fill out the DMV paperwork, and so fraudulently uses someone else’s placard.  It’s still fraud, it’s still illegal, it doesn’t matter how disabled you actually are.  You have to have the legal paperwork in order, or you don’t have the legal right to use the placard, end of story.

#the more I think about it #the more I think that the only people really outraged about this #are self-diagnosed disabled people who don't have their own placard #sorry there are hoops to jump through guys but it's for a reason #it's for the specific reason of keeping able-bodied people from using spaces set aside for us #jump through the hoops to get the placard #or don't fucking use a placard #those are your choices #you don't get to use your dead grandma's placard because you have social anxiety #and then get angry when a cop confiscates the illegally used placard

^Couldn't have said it better myself. The thing some people seem to forget is that handicapped parking isn't even for all disabled people. It's not some badge of honor that proves you have a disability; it's an accommodation specifically for physically disabled people who need to have spots with extra room so they can actually get out of their vehicle, like those with wheelchairs or some other types of large assisstive devices, or who need to be especially close to their destinations, like me: I can't walk very far, and not having a disabled parking placard would have meant I couldn't go to school this past year, because I would have been so exhausted & in so much pain from the long walk in from the parking lot every day that even if I managed to not pass out from it, I wouldn't be able to think coherently & get anything out of class, so there'd be no point in going in the first place. And never mind shopping at the grocery store - that much time on my feet plus a long walk across the parking lot afterward? And then lifting things into my car? Yeah, no. Impossible. So no groceries for me, I guess. And yeah, they have those scooter shopping carts, but they generally have tiny baskets, and someone young like me who "doesn't look sick" gets harassed even more for using those than for using my parking placard. And as somebody pointed out earlier, we're talking half a sheet of printer paper for the states that even issue separate paperwork. It is NOT a hardship to keep that with your placard, and as long as the cops don't try to take your placard away even after you show them valid paperwork for it, then they're not harassing you, they're enforcing the rules that protect you.

this is my favorite quote fucking ever wow I love it 

(via mermaid—sea)

#in my experience #it starts to get a little less scary on the other side of 30 #it's terrifying at 29 believe me #but at 31 or 32 #you realize it isn't about missing something or someone or somewhere #but about missing that feeling of being comfortable and content and secure and taken care of #it's about lowering your stress and creating safe places for yourself and the people you love #you'll never get your childhood nest back #but you can create a nest with whomever else you choose #now when I feel this I do actually want HOME #as in home with my hubby and my cat and my bed and all my comforts #create that nest with someone else -- for someone else #it's a healing thing #adulthood #how to adult #families of choice (via sheliesshattered)

By Jean Jullien.

Visual representation on how we let technology ruin social interactions and pleasant experiences.

Me: *hates this*

why do baby boomers love to produce this “technology is bad fire is scary and thomas edison was a witch” garbage?

fuck THIS

I never see a cashier with an empty queue. Self-serve checkout machines make life GREAT for people with social anxiety or self conscious people. I get nervous that everyone is judging my weight. So when I do my monthly ice-cream, chocolate, and menstrual products run, I will do it with a fucking self-serve machine.

I’m happy seeing my friends take photos of their food. I like taking photos of my food. Because there is a chef in the back of the kitchen who works hard to plate things beautifully and in any other situation, people dive in immediately and ruin that image. We take photos to preserve that image and who the fuck knows, if I was the chef I would be digging through instagram hoping to see my plate on there. We’re celebrating someones hard work, work that is generally temporary.

And I don’t know what kind of friends you have, but if someone is taking a photo of their food, I’m not gonna bother talking to them until they’re done. Why would you try to have a conversation when someone is busy?? And it takes a few minutes, you can wait for someone who wants to perform a small act of creativity.

It’s nice to get likes on instagram. If you’re monogamous and on tinder, it’s not technology’s fault you’re contemplating cheating. What is SO BAD about having food delivered to your home? And is there anything wrong with having movies streaming instantly? No - but if you complain that Netflix takes up your life than be an adult and step back. It’s not technology’s fault that you have no self control.

Selfies are fun. Selfies are great. Your friend is a jerk if they don’t even take a minute to take of photo of you as well. Why do you care if people use technology around you on the subway? That makes me feel less self-conscious that people are staring or judging me. They can play their games, read, etc. Someone is occupied, why is that so wrong?

Your phone has a zoom option so you can record/photograph a concert? FUCKING good for you! 

And again. If your phone keeps you up, be an adult, get some self control and step back. 

Technology isn’t bad. You’re just upset with yourselves for having a lack of self-control. You hate that people connect through technology. And maybe, you just don’t like seeing people love themselves, enjoy life, and feel joy. That’s your problem, not technology’s.

^^^ bang on.

i’ll just leave this here:

#technology helps a lot of us be MORE social not LESS #I would literally only get to see and talk to ONE PERSON PER DAY #if it wasn't for technology #since I'm largely housebound and rarely see anyone other than my husband in person #but with technology I can have very close relationships with my sisters who live across the country #I can have friendships online that are closer than any I had in high school or college #I can have a support group for each of my illnesses that DOESNT REQUIRE ME TO BE WELL ENOUGH TO LEAVE THE HOUSE #I can do my Christmas shopping done even when I'm not well enough to drive #I can get cat food and litter delivered since I'm too sick to carry them in from the car anymore #technology makes our lives BETTER not WORSE #and I invite anyone who disagrees to go live in a cave and leave the rest of us alone (via sheliesshattered)

I have to say, I also love when people respond to these horrible anti-tech posts with photos of ppl in the '30s or 40's sitting on a train with a big newspaper in front of each of their faces -- so I especially appreciate the picture above, since I guarantee you at least half the people you see on their phones are texting or otherwise using technology to interact with other, real life people, whereas 100% of those people behind their newspapers are stuck in their own little worlds.