quixotic chaotic

Queen!

i agree that jameela makes great points at times, but she’s also the same woman who thinks the likes of laverne cox are women just because they identify that way. you can’t be a woman who calls out the deep-seated misogyny of society while also saying that any male who “feels” like a woman is one, and his opinions on womanhood automatically become relevant.

I hope you and all TERFs shit your pants in public too.

buddy her thinking trans women are women is a bonus not a flaw 

i was expecting something actually bad and harmful when they started talking like “but she thinks vaccines cause autism” not “she knows trans women are women”

Spell to make t*rfs shit their pants in public; like to charge, reblog to cast.

i gotchu fam

Terfs Shit Their Pants In Public

Terfs Shit Their Pants In Public

you cannot gender me in a way that matters

No gender forged against me shall prosper

less “if you see a man and woman together at pride be nice! they could be bi/pan/trans/ace/aro” and more “stop gendering strangers to harass them anywhere, but especially at pride holy shit”

you know what? i want this to reach the people who do this– especially the ones claiming to support trans folk (usually in really hollow ways lol i’m not bitter). keep reblogging– i want this sentiment to be widespread and for people to stop gendering strangers! especially in explicitly LGBTQ+ spaces!

Friend: *is misgendered*

Me: *aggressively genders correctly*

‘they’ is a great pronoun bc it doesn’t exclude anyone. if you want to avoid misgendering people on the internet, i strongly recommend treating ‘they’ as the neutral default pronoun in conversations w/ people whose pronouns you don’t know. 

‘They’ doesn’t exclude men, women, and nonbinary folks–which is really really important given how often the last two groups get excluded & dismissed from internet conversations. above all, please please please stop treating ‘he’ as the default pronoun–i get that constantly despite having my pronouns listed in my bio, and it is tiring. 

please just normalize referring to unknown people on the internet as ‘they’

Happy International Pronouns Day! 🌈 Pronouns matter. According to our research, trans and nonbinary youth who report having their pronouns respected by all or most of the people in their lives attempted suicide at half the rate of those who did not. Learn more: http://thetrevorproject.org/survey-2020

So I’m a phlebotomist. And sometimes, I work at a site that is directly adjacent to an endocrinologist. Which means I see and take blood from a lot of folks that are trans, or nonbinary, or gender nonconforming.

Do you have any fucking idea how easy it is, in customer-service speak, to respect someone’s gender?

I mean, I’ve had super awkward situations where I have to say things like ‘I’m sorry, that name isn’t coming up in our system. Is there another name…“ And without fail they provide their deadname and I plug it in and I say ‘Ok, that came up, do you want me to fix that in our system?” And they say ‘Yes’ and then I ADD IT AS A SYNOMYMOUS NAME. Same as I would for someone recently married or divorced. The end.

I have never experienced a situation in which I have felt motivated to ask someone’s pronouns.

I have had situations in which I have thought to myself ‘I have no idea if this person is 'sir’ or 'ma'am’ and instead have gone 'Next patient please?’ or 'I can help who’s next’ or 'I can help you now’ while looking directly at them.

I have had situations where I’ve gone 'I’m like 90% certain that I’ve been given a record with this person’s deadname because this name does not match at all the gender presentation of the person I’m looking at’ And I say 'Ok, can you spell your last name for me? Ok, spell your first name? And your date of birth?’

and then I quietly write 'preferred name [the name they just spelled] on the top of thier record.

THIS IS NOT HARD.

And if this is not hard for me, as a person working in medicine who has to make certain that the person I’m talking to is the same person on the medical record that I’m looking up, how much easier must it be for, say, a barista who doesn’t give half a fuck who you are? I’ve BEEN a barista in the past. If a Barista is asking your pronouns, that person is an asshole.

“Misgendering: An Analogy” by Bishakh Som

this is a good analogy, I’ve been explaining cis people for awhile that someone’s pronouns are how you refer to them when you don’t use their name, and you wouldn’t refer to someone by another name just because of how they look, so names and pronouns are related in my head anyway

honestly im kinda done w most of the dudes who are like “””transmasc activists””” bc very little of what they talk about is relevant to my struggles or the struggles of the guys around me. like, i’m sure happy theres skinny cis passing str8 dudes here to do another pronouns 101 and talk about how gr8 ur cis girlfriend is for respecting ur gender and like do a photoshoot with a company that makes £30 underwear or whatever. but like, are you at like any point gonna talk abt the fact that >50% of trans men are survivors of sexual violence?? you gonna talk about the huge likelihood that trans boys have attempted suicide (>50%)?? you gonna talk abt the fact that almost a third of urban trans men have been or are sex workers?? you gonna talk abt the rates of alcohol and drug abuse in our community?? you gonna talk abt the fact that 36% of us are survivors of domestic violence?? or you just gonna continue w the vapid, empty platitudes that only vaguely resemble meaningful activism

we could also talk about the widespread eating disorders in our community, the intersection of race and trans manhood, the discrimination we still face (ex: poor healthcare, the fact that many of us are stuck in low-paying jobs and frequently fired, lack of presence in medical research/sex education, etc.) but the only topics that get spotlighted are like, media representation for the billionth time

aaaand can we talk about “non-passing” trans men? trans men who society still treats 100% as women? the weird intersection of misogyny and transphobia that trans men experience but aren’t allowed to talk about because we’re men and therefore fine? 

like op said, there’s so many of us effected by sexual violence, so many of us who are sex workers, so many of us who are in or have been in abusive relationships, so many of us who’ve attempted suicide and so many who’ve succeeded. 

so can we stop fucking acting like trans men are fine to fit your narrative of us having mad privilege? we’re poor, mlm, non-white, sex workers, homeless, mentally ill, disabled, abused, etc etc etc. we gotta deal with society treating us like women and all that entails (you know, the not good stuff too) and society treating us like sex-changing freaks. 

so lets talk about trans men like, ever, honestly. 

CW: gender feels and misgendering

I feel like my genderqueer identity is so much a part of me, and I’m so proud of that aspect of myself. My gender influences how I present myself, how I interact with the world, the language I use, the media I choose to consume, so many things.

My gender is a part of me, like every other characteristic or experience that has made me who I am. So it would seem like my gender should be as obvious to the people who know and love me as it is to myself.

But it isn’t.

“You were born a female and you’ll always be a girl to me.”

That tells me that you don’t see me. That I’m right in front of you and yet you haven’t seen me in many years.

I have to expect that someone who prefers an illusion of their own creation over my reality…will never really see me as I am.

And that’s a shame. Our time is limited and ever shrinking, and you’re missing out on the chance to really know me.

Dear cis people,

Please get to know the nonbinary people in your lives. Learn to see them as they are and not as you wish they were. You are losing time. Missing an opportunity.

Having a nonbinary child, sibling, partner, parent, or friend is often framed as a loss. And it is not a loss.

Do not grieve for the illusion. Celebrate the reality. The person in front of you is radiant in their authenticity–love them as they are.

The nonbinary person in your life has not stolen your cis relative or friend away–they have given you the gift of their truth.

A priceless gift. Don’t throw it away.

calling….NB ppl “femme aligned” or “masc aligned” is so wild bc….… . the entire point is being….not aligned….to the binary………… . ..like if ur NB and you like to use one of those terms to describe yourself that’s your business and ok but I am seeing it used 99% to decide whether or not a NB person can claim certain sexual identities and I’m gonna SCREAM

Again, NB people are obviously within their rights to choose the labels they wish to associate with, but I am seeing people use “masc/femme aligned” to invalidate other people’s sexual identities, and to fit into a certain “alignment,” it seems to be coming down to what pronouns a person uses, which is a difficult thing for NB to subscribe to often, or how a person dresses, and when we’ve reached a point of telling NB to dress a certain way to match and claim an identity, we’ve really come full circle to being just as bad off as we were before.

[Image description: A screenshot of a tweet by Ryan Landino / @PastorLandino written in white text on a dark navy blue background. The tweet reads:

“Trans youth who are not accepted by their family have a 41% suicidality. That number drops to 4% when they are accepted by their family, even if they are rejected by everyone else...Calling trans youth by their preferred name if suicide prevention.” - Mira Krishman #WPC19GR

End ID.]

yanno how every january everyone writes the wrong year for a while ?? that’s like how it is when u come out as trans and still misgender or deadname yourself. you’re not faking it, u just gotta get used to the change just like we all do every january.

a wholesome post

How to dress steampunk I guess

EDIT: hey I appreciate the love but as the notes grow on this post I am seeing more and more transphobic shit on here. For those posting/tagging this with things like “he looks so good” and “I love men in dresses”; I am not a man. I’m nonbinary and I use they pronouns.

i’m glad you guys like my look, but I stressed about this for months because it was my first formal event where I was able to present as my gender. Nonbinary isn’t just dfab people in suits. As a very “masculine looking” dmab person I prefer to wear dresses and skirts to present as nonbinary. I’m not a man in a dress. Saying “I love men in dresses” or “why does he have better legs than me” is not supportive of me. It’s transphobic. Cis women do not have a copyright on good legs.

Please do not use my post where I actually felt good about myself to enforce your binary. I have spent too long panicking over what to wear to work, and to school, and to family dinners, and to formal events, and to weddings to be labeled as a “man in a dress”

full offence but if your son lays awake at night wishing he was dead because you insist that he’s your daughter you have failed as a parent

Same goes if your daughter lays awake at night wishing she was dead because you insist she’s your son.

Do you ever think about how fat nonbinary people who were AFAB are consistantly shoved into a feminine box / forced into feminine roles and beauty standards by…. literally everyone??

Like?? We can’t be seen as andro / masculine because we dont fit into the ‘Classic Nonbinary Aesthetic’ (thin / heavily andro because of that thinness). A lot of the time we HAVE to wear Feminine clothing bc the accesible clothing industries dont make those NB styles in our size (and yeah no, Im not buying a $100 pair of custom pants online, bc not everyone has money to dole out on Wardrobe. The fact that id have to pay more than $20 is a huge issue too).

Society in general doesnt see People with large hips and thighs, big butts, and big chests as anything but Fat Women– and society includes other LGBTQIA people. Us having fat-female characteristics is nearly inescapable and that ideal and inital ‘Theyre too fat to be andro / masculine’ thought pattern COMPLETELY needs to change.

Like…The fact that I am fat does not make me a lesser Nonbinary person. My hips, my thighs, my chest, my smaller waist do not make me a lesser Nonbinary person– and they definitely dont make me a woman. What I wear to accomodate my body does not make me less Nonbinary. Change that fucking narrative.