quixotic chaotic

"I do not doubt it," said Legolas. "But you are a dwarf, and dwarves are strange folk. I do not like this place, and I shall like it no more by the light of day. But you comfort me, Gimli, and I am glad to have you standing nigh with your stout legs and your hard axe."

But why would anyone even WANT a dark fuck prince Thorin when they can instead have an awkward brooding dork who runs into a tree because the light hit Bilbo’s hair just right?

i like how “meninists”

stole their logo from clothing lines supreme or obey

which stole their look from FEMINIST artist Barbara Kruger

this tea is delicious

yooo

All of the AUs I’ve been thinking as of late are quite serious.

Here. Have a super dumb (and kind of detailed) AU again for once.

During their Christmas Party at their office, Bilbo’s department did Secret Santa with a value of $10 for the gifts. The present that Bilbo ended up with was a calendar. Bilbo quite liked gifts that are actually something that he needed, and yes he did need a calendar for next year. However, the calendar that he got was of the Erebor’s Fire Department annual charity calendar, featuring some really hot men he has ever seen, especially Mr. Firefighter August, who was a tall man with dark raven hair, peppered with some silver hair at his widow’s peak. He had a glorious full beard and a mustache, that Bilbo can tell will give some nice beard burn on one’s face if they ever make out with that handsome piece of meat— don’t get him even started with that bod. They better hose down that body because it was too hot for its own good. Propriety be damned, Bilbo thought. He decided to buy those desk calendars for his office and just have this wall calendar always on Mr. August. 

A few months later, the fire alarm rang loudly at their office building, and it wasn’t a false alarm this time. As they were heading down the escape stairs, Bofur (Being Bilbo’s partner with the buddy system) teased Bilbo that maybe his Mr. August will be one of the firefighters coming. After everyone was outside, waiting for the verdict if there was fire or not and how bad the damage was, two firemen went up to the fire marshal of their floor (probably Bard), and told him someone had been smoking by the fire escape and the smoke detector caught the smoke of the cigarette. No one came up to admit, and it will never be known because everyone got too distracted from laughter when Bilbo yelped in shock, blushing tremendously hard as Bofur basically shouted out loud for everyone to that it was Mr. August who was talking to Bard, and while Mr. August was beet red when his bald partner (who was Mr. April— Bilbo realized after) was hitting him in the elbow and teasing and kept saying how Mr. grumpy-pants gets to have a cute fan, who was most certainly Mr. August’s type. Before everyone headed back up, Mr. August slipped a note on Bilbo’s hand before heading out. On it had his number scribbled, with a name he can only assume was his. “So his name is Thorin”.

Oh yeah, and by the way, it was Gandalf who was smoking. Of course he had to be the reason why these two meet up.

And also… I’ve actually drawn Mr. August’s calendar picture. Just never finished it lmaaooo

Are fedoras really that bad?

YES YES THEY ARE

I don’t really believe this mumbo jumbo

I mean it’s a goddamn hat.

Right..?

The white rose, it symbolizes the unique beauty of all the women who wish not to be with a nice guy such as myse-

I wonder if this works with other kinds of hat…

Nothing ventured, nothing gained…

WHEEEN THE MOON HITS YOUR EYE LIKE A BIG PIZZA PIE THAT’S AMORREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Bilbo - It all started with a crazy loon who banged on my hole. Thorin - Which hole? Bilbo - GET OUT (I)(II)(III)(IV)(V)(VI)(VIII)(IX)(X)

once i got very drunk in a bar and my mum had to pick me up so i was trying to act normal by keeping the conversation so i asked her if shes a virgin and she looked at me with pain in her eyes and said “i wish i was”

this is my favourite post on this whole goddamn website

profile pics:

tagged pics:

Another tagged picture:

come on,another one:

THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE

DEATH IS ON ITS WAY, HUMAN.

Can I cuddle Death and give Death chin scritches and kisses?

SCRITCHES CANNOT POSTPONE THE INESCAPABLE FATE ORDAINED TO YOU, HUMAN, HOWEVER THEY MAY EARN YOU PURRS AND LOVERUBS

AU where Dean is openly bisexual and a total asshole about it. - Part 7

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John Watson loves tea so much that he can’t take his eyes off it.

Priorities, sorted.

I actually laugh like a lunatic every time I see this.

This will forever be my favorite thing.

You could pour that tea a bit faster, Mycroft.

Hurry up now with that tea, Mycroft.

Sherlock you’re stealing all the attention away from the tea.

I really want that tea.

Fact: Pansexuals are notoriously bad at baseball, due to the fact that they swing every way and are on all of the teams.