remember when angelina jolie got a double mastectomy and Every Single Man on Earth acted like it was a personal attack on them specifically
Even though by the time it was announced she already had her breasts reconstructed and she was only going public about it to warn other women about risks?
I’ve been thinking about this a lot as several of my friends deal with breast cancer.
Hi friends!
I am interrupting your irregularly scheduled comic update to make a post about a thing happening here on my island which is probably quite far away from wherever you are and so unlikely to affect you directly. Still, it’s a Thing I have been very anxious and noisy about IRL* so I feel like I ought to tell you about it.
There’s a referendum happening on May 25th (THIS FRIDAY!!). A yes vote would mean abortion is at last legalised in the Republic of Ireland, which, and let me very, very, very clear about this, would be an Extremely Good Thing. As I see it, a Yes vote would be an endorsement of three very basic principles that I wish weren’t controversial but here we are. Those three basic principles are: 1) women are people 2) a foetus is not the same as a conscious human being 3) you are free to ignore other people’s opinions regarding what you do with your own dang body
In general, #2 is the one the anti-choice campaigners tend to latch on to. Arguing with #1 immediately gives them away, hardly anyone does it explicitly. It’s easier to tacitly call into question the humanity of women by suggesting they are not to be trusted. #3 anti-choicers tend to deflect by refusing to acknowledge that the moral framework they propose is a matter of opinion, and not fact. So that leaves us with #2. It’s an emotive subject because humans as a species are very, very good at storytelling and it’s easy, if you’re so inclined, to see something at an early stage in its development and play a little movie in your head where you watch it grow up, whether it’s an egg hatching or an embryo developing or a little aloe vera plant turning into a beautiful hefty green monster that haunts the bathroom and harbours spiders in its dusty crevices. But the passing of time and the action of various processes is necessary for each of these things to alter its structure, change its nature, and become something other than it is. Potential is beautiful and poetic and the decision may be painful for those or many other reasons but it is fundamentally a personal decision because a turtle egg is not the same as a turtle. A tree is not a chair, a cow is not a handbag, a smile is not an invitation, and a clenched fist is not a punch in the face, which is why I have never been charged with assault after conversing with someone who thinks that reproductive freedom shouldn’t be a fundamental human right.
It’s not only women that can get pregnant, of course, but misogyny is unequivocally the reason that abortion is illegal and it’s the same malevolent force that propped up so much of the old system that I desperately want to believe we’re now systematically dismantling on this weird little island. Marriage equality and the gender recognition act were huge symbolic steps. This one’s even bigger. So c'mon lads, let’s make it happen.
Oh and P.S. - in case anyone feels the need to try and argue this with me, please take a moment to consider that my entire position is predicated on the conviction that unsolicited opinions from outsiders re: bodily autonomy have precisely zero value. Whatever else might or might not be stirring in the private reaches of my bodily tissues - again, not your business - I have not a single solitary atom of interest anywhere in the seething fugue of my being for anything you might have to say on the subject of anyone else’s body. It doesn’t matter. You don’t matter. Your opinion doesn’t matter.
Repeal the eighth.
Love, Quidditas
*IRELAND
the greatest skill a woman can learn for herself is self reliance
to clarify … so many strong women in my life rely on men. that dependence is dangerous. ladies here are some good ref resources I’ve found helpful on my journey towards self reliance
automobile
plumbing
electrical
home
this list is in no way comprehensive feel free to add on
Interstitial cystitis is a bladder and pelvic floor condition. It’s painful, exhausting, embarrassing, and complicated. It makes peeing painful. Makes sex painful. Even makes just sitting or laying down painful. You have frequent urination and utis, urinary retention, bladder spasms, and so many more horrible symptoms. I.C. patients are 90% women, 10% men.
Doctors can literally feel your pelvic muscles twitching and spasming all the time. Often the treatment is physical therapy where a therapist has to stick their fingers inside your vagina and press on the painful muscles until they release. The medicines prescribed for it are expensive and barely work.
Some women have it mild enough it barely affects their life once they make diet changes, for others nothing works and they have to insert catheters in them multiple times a day.
No one talks about interstitial cystitis. Many urologists don’t even know how to diagnose or treat it. I went to 4 urologists over 3 years and not one could diagnose it or spend more than 10 minutes on me. I was told to catheterize myself daily, to take pills constantly, I even was told that if I told my body to relax, it would fix my bladder spasms. Mind over matter. But it took a urogynocologist minutes to diagnose me by feeling the tense overly thickened muscles in my pelvic floor.
Even with a diagnosis, i.c. is still hard to live with and I struggle every day. Sex sets it into a flare. Not drinking enough sets it into a flare. Not peeing every three hours sets it into a flare. Sometimes nothing at all causes spasms and infections.
I just want people to be more aware how serious interstitial cystitis is in women’s health and to recognize the struggles we go through. I want doctors to be educated on the condition and take the scared women in pain that go to them for help. I want people to not be afraid to talk about it even though it involves “bathroom stuff.” It’s something many women suffer from and we need to treat them better.
“Pine Ridge Indian Reservation, S.D. ― Dominique Amiotte, 17, always makes sure to keep a few extra tampons in her locker. It’s not much, but it’s enough to encourage at least some of her struggling friends to come to school when they have their periods.
About half of Amiotte’s girlfriends can’t afford tampons or sanitary pads. As a result, when they menstruate, they’ll skip school for as long as a week. This can lead them to fall behind in class, contributing to the already abysmal graduation rates on the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation. There are no official records on how many of the young women at the reservation’s 13 schools have felt the consequences of this issue, but individuals we spoke to say it’s an inescapable part of everyday life.
“It makes me angry,” Amiotte told HuffPost unflinchingly while seated in an empty classroom at the Crazy Horse School, where there are 70 girls enrolled in middle or high school classes.”
If you want to donate, these are the organizations mentioned in the piece:
Hey thanks @annerbanners!
My mother also talked about periods to my brothers.
When I first got mine I had terrible cramps. Crippling cramps. I once was camping with my family and a few of my big brother’s friends when my period came. My cramps were so bad that my mom gave me a full pain killer ( I was 13 and before that she only gave me pills cut in half).
I literally laid down on my parents’ air mattress and cried in pain for an hour before the pill kicked in.
My brothers friend came in to the big tent and I was just curled up and sobbing. Now, I was quite the tomboy and was known to rough house with my brothers and their friends and made sure I wasnt seen as just “a little girl.” So my brother’s friend was confused to see me openly weeping in the fetal position (seriously, these were the worst cramps I have had in my life. My vision went white). He asked what was wrong with me.
My big brother stood up immediately and suggested a nice long hike. During this hike I am sure he had a pretty awkward conversation with his friend explaining menstrual cramps, because when they got back the pain pill had (mostly) kicked in and I was sitting up at a table when my brother’s friend sheepishly asked me if I was feeling better. I said I was better, and he said good.
When we made s'mores that night my brother and his friend kept me well supplied with chocolate.
Making sure sons know as much about periods and menstruation as daughters makes them better brothers, better sons better fathers, and better men. A man that understands a period will not lightly accuse a woman of “being on her period” if the woman is in an argument.
Let’s not forget that some boys have periods!! Let’s teach our children that as well!
I knew the basics before I got it, but I had no clue…
* The blood wouldn’t necessarily be red. When I first got my period, I spent a few min looking at my underwear wondering how I shit myself. I didn’t know the blood could look brown, or be thick.
* That tampons weren’t a good idea yet. I was 10 or 11 when I got my first period and physically smaller than an adult woman. My first attempt at inserting a tampon was very painful and unsuccessful. I wouldn’t use them until I was around 14 or so.
* That when you use pads the blood can get on your bottom and I’d have to occasionally clean off the toilet seat after using it.
* That getting your first period DOES NOT mean you’re fully developed and fully able to bear children. I could have technically gotten pregnant at that age, but I was still a child and pregnancy would have put my life in danger because I was still physically immature.
* That it wouldn’t be regular for another few years.
* That very painful cramping is NOT NORMAL once you reach your 20s and is cause for concern.
* That the blood and tissue you pass can look chunky or stringy and not like blood from a cut.
* That stress can halt your period for months BUT
* That doesn’t mean you can’t get pregnant
Feel free to add your own
Relatable
-passing blood clots is completely normal
-that your period may straight up skip a month when you first get it
-and then it’ll happen twice in the same month
-getting your period does NOT automatically make you a woman
Painful cramping isn’t normal in your 20’s? That’s a little concerning, mine have been getting exponentially worse
It is NOT normal.
I can 100% guarantee you have endometriosis, PCOS, or another hormone problem. If your doctor says it’s normal, DEMAND a second opinion.
Thinking that it’s normal is how people end up infertile or dead. It’s why so many women under 40 these days are having an almost impossible time either conceiving or preventing conception. Because no one teaches anyone that it’s the sign of trouble that can very seriously hurt you.
Anyone who has severe cramps, heavy bleeding, or irregular periods after about 19 years old should seek medical advice. None of those are normal.
If you have skin tags, a hard time losing weight, migraines related to your period, depression that is amplified when menstruating, severe mood swings, sleep disturbances that get worse with menstruation, or any other significant health problem that started with puberty and is worse when hormones are fluctuating you need to be checked.
None of the things that people relate to women on their periods is actually an example of a healthy woman. It’s an example of people who need one form of treatment or another.
Do NOT go to a general doctor. Find a women’s health center. Obgyn doctors. ASK SPECIFICALLY FOR A FEMALE DOCTOR. (Also helps with creating a demand for female doctors, win-win)
And if the doctor you do see tried to write you off as “nothing” or “its normal”? Politely insist for another doctor. People forget: you are paying them for a service. If you believe the doctor is not taking you or your problems seriously, ASK FOR ANOTHER DOCTOR. Specifically, “Do you have another doctor on staff who is more experienced with female health”. It is WELL within your right to change doctors as you see fit - you owe no loyalty to one specific doctor if they aren’t meeting your needs.
Reblogging for all my followers with vaginas. I have so many sisters and friends with vaginas and I didn’t know most of this. I turn 30 soon. You’d think I’d have pick up these bits of information over the years in conversation.
Hey!! Hey everybody with periods!!! If you have a period you should read this, because it’s helpful, and people with periods really aren’t taught enough about their own bodies.
even if u personally don’t get a period, someone u know/care abt prob does & u should pass this along
women’s health is health & we should all know these things, i feel
In the wake of Carrie Fisher’s death four days after she suffered a massive heart attack, one thing that was reported by some news outlets was that she had been in “significant distress” on the flight. We don’t know the exact details of this, but in my experience as an EMT, it often means “hysterical woman having a panic attack and thinking she’s dying…*woman dies* …oops, guess she really was dying.”
It is SO IMPORTANT to remember that many women present in what medicine considers an ‘atypical’ manner for heart attack, but it actually IS typical…for women. Women are more than twice as likely to die from cardiac emergencies, not because our physiology is that much different than men and thus gives us a worse chance at survival (it’s actually better if treated promptly and adequately), but because our symptoms are more likely to go unrecognized or to be dismissed entirely.
Shortness of breath - This is the most common one. If a woman, especially one without prior history of respiratory issues or shortness of breath, seems to be having trouble catching her breath and/or complains of such, pay very close attention. If she continues to feel winded after sitting or laying down, it’s probably time to call for help.
Feeling of impending doom - This can range from a sense of general unease to a full-blown panic attack. This one is extremely important, and is the symptom most commonly disregarded by doctors and hospital staff. If a woman tells you that she feels ‘not quite right,’ or like something terrible is about to happen, or that she’s about to die, LISTEN TO HER FFS.
Nausea and “indigestion” - Also common. Heart attacks frequently present as a feeling of vague nausea or indigestion, but unlike typical heartburn, antacids and other OTC treatments will not alleviate the symptoms.
Hiccups - Unexplained hiccups, especially if seen with any of the other symptoms listed above, can be indicative of heart muscle that is being acutely or chronically starved of oxygen. The exact mechanism isn’t known, but it’s thought that the enzymes released by the dying muscle irritate the pericardium and adjacent diaphragm, causing spasms in the healthy muscle.
Fatigue - This is another commonly seen symptom, and is often overlooked or ignored as just transient tiredness. Many women having a heart attack will complain of feeling “flu-like” symptoms of nausea, sweating, fatigue, and shortness of breath, and they’ll lie down for a nap and never wake up.
Lightheadedness - A feeling of being lightheaded or about to faint isn’t terribly uncommon in many benign conditions, and many women experience it on a monthly basis. However - be aware when it appears unexpectedly or unexplainedly, and/or with one or more of the other symptoms on this list.
Sweating (diaphoresis) - Heart attack does funny things to the sympathetic nervous system, which is behind reflexes such as sweating and hiccups. If a lady is experiencing unexplained or excessive sweating, pay attention to anything else that might be going on with her.
Tingling or numb extremities - A feeling of numbness or “pins and needles” tingling in the extremities can be an important sign that cardiac function is being impaired and those body parts aren’t receiving enough oxygen.
Peripheral and/or central cyanosis - Often accompanies tingling or numbness, and is considered a later-stage symptom of cardiac distress and heart failure. Finger and toe tips will turn pale or blue first, and lips and gums after that. Important to remember that darker-skinned women may present cyanosis as ashen, grey, or darker purple rather than pale or blue.
Back pain - Pain between the shoulder blades, in the cervical spine, or even further down in the torso or lumbar region can be a symptom of heart attack. Alone, it isn’t that suspicious, but if it’s unrelenting and presents with any of the other symptoms above, keep a watchful eye on things.
Classic “crushing” or “tight” chest pain or pressure - Women DO experience this classic pain, too, just not as frequently as men do. This may be due to our higher pain threshold, or differences in blood volume, or maybe we’re just not sure because nobody’s bothered to really study it. Whatever the reason, some women do still experience the crushing or tightening pain, and others may experience less painful pressure or tightness that doesn’t seem to be relieved by anything.
Arm and jaw pain - Another “classic” heart attack symptom, and a bit more common than central chest pain. Unexplained pain in the left arm or shoulder, and on the left side of the neck or jaw, should not be ignored by anyone.
Reblog to save a life.
America take notes
On Thursday night, House Oversight Committee Chairman Jason Chaffetz held a town hall near Salt Lake City, Utah — and judging by the audience’s jeers, it doesn’t seem like it went over well. Women came out in droves to ask the hard and necessary questions about Republican plans to save their healthcare.
Gifs: Dan Diamond
This is what we have to do – hold their feet to the fire; make them accountable for the decisions they make that affect all of us
Republicans don’t care about womens health
Still reading “You Mean I’m Not Lazy, Crazy or Stupid?” - a book for and about adults with add. And this is all me, especially that last bit.
rbing again to add that I want to thank op for posting this. seeing this on my dash several months ago was the very first time I ever considered I could have ADD/ADHD inattentive. I never had the slightest idea before. fast forward to now and I’ve been going to therapy and on medication and things have turned around so much for the better.
I’m so glad to hear that! That’s why I posted it, because I knew I couldn’t be the only person that this rang I giant bell with.
I WAS THAT LITTLE GIRL. THAT WAS ME.
I was AT THE SAME TIME this little girl and the “trouble with bright girls” little girl–I was told that I was smart enough to “compensate” so I didn’t need treatment/help, so anything I had difficulty with I had to avoid like the plague because even though I knew why it was hard for me because I had been told I had ADD, I also knew that my status of smartness was at risk any time I struggled with something, and had no idea how to actually consciously deal with my ADD when natural ability/terror of deadlines didn’t get me through.
tbh disregarding the recent protests to destigmatize menstruation as “white feminism” doesn’t sit right with me when woc have always been involved and it has always been a global fight:
especially as things like this are happening:
an act of solidarity and protest for an issue that effects millions of women worldwide should not be silenced
I asked one of my (male) friends to stop using the phrase “man up” and he has been using “fortify” for the past two weeks instead and it’s just a little thing but honestly it makes a difference
and tbh it’s also pretty funny when I start to deflate in the library and he leans over and goes “FORTIFY”
Dude, fortify is bangin’. That makes things like you’re some kind of RPG character. Fortify is way better than “man up.”
I like this. This is dope.
Make this a thing!!
a little louder for the people in the back
if you threw a pad or tampon into a crowd of boys they would probably all scream and it would be like that scene from monsters inc where george gets contaminated by a sock
story time
ok so in high school on away game days, the football players and cheerleaders would have to share busses because our school was broke as fuck so our cheer bus would always have a group of varsity footballerers in the back of it. one day my genius friend and I were discussing our feminist rage when she said “bridget you should totally throw a tampon back there and see what they do” and me being myself, stood up and hurled a one (1) tampon at the Manly Men. IT LOOKED LIKE A WAR MOVIE. THE BROS FACES WERE FILLED WITH HORROR AS THEIR BUDDY GOT SHOT. HE WENT DOWN SO DRAMATICALLY AS SCREAMS FILLED THE BUS. BOYS WERE SLINKING AS FAR AWAY FROM THE DEADLY TAMPON AS PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE. ONE BRO WAS EYEING THE EMERGENCY WINDOW WITH ALL SERIOUSNESS, READY TO FREE HIMSELF FROM THE THREAT. BEING IN CHICAGO, THE BUS DRIVER PULLED OVER ASSUMING A KID ACTUALLY GOT SHOT. A GIRL HAD TO GO GET THE TAMPON SO THE GUYS WOULD STOP SHITTING THEIR PANTS AND SIT THEIR ASSES THE FUCK BACK DOWN.
I have deduced 2 things from this whole experience: 1. men are ridiculous 2. I wish I had thrown more than one tampon
TRUE STORY
When my brother was in high school, as a prank, someone stuck a pad to the front bumper of his truck. A CLEAN, UNUSED PAD.
My brother came home from high school, 17 years old, CRYING and my dad made ME go get it off his truck.
I had honestly forgotten about that until just now.
I sincerely regret never having done this during my school days.
story time (again!)
one time, in the middle of my freshman year, I was sitting in the band hall talking to a bunch of friends before school. let me preface this story by saying they were all guys (one of the hazards of being in the saxophone section–guys outnumbered the girls 6:1). Anyway, I dug around in my backpack for a tampon and slipped it into the sleeve of my sweater and was about to excuse myself to the restroom (which, if anybody has been paying attention, they would’ve known what was going on, because I’ve never been exactly subtle about things like this) but one of the guys kind of guffaws and goes “what’s in your sleeve? a tampon?” and I guess the way he rolled the word off his tongue like it was some kind of insult really bothered me, so I just pulled the brand new, still wrapped tampon out of my sleeve and went “you guessed it” and popped him across the cheek with it. I walked away to the restroom, vaguely aware of the strangled noises and sounds of disbelief and horror coming from the group of guys. They were all paying attention enough to know that I was digging in my bag for a tampon or pad, but apparently, the sight of the thing was too much for them. That group of guys couldn’t look me in the eyes for a few weeks, all because of a wrapped tampon
Yep. I’m an electrician, and we carry voltage meters with us (slang: “Wiggy”, from an old brand name of meter that just about no one uses any more). They take up too much space to put in a tool pouch, so if you don’t want to leave it in the tool box/bag, you’ll have a separate pouch on your tool belt for it. A long, narrow pouch that is convenient as hell for putting spare tampons in where they’ll stay clean and undamaged until needed.
A lot of the guys just leave their meters back in their tool boxes, which are in the gang box, which is usually some hike away from the actual work. So, “can I borrow your meter?” is something I hear a lot. And the response is always, “sure.” They always emit a high-pitched scream (somewhat similar to the tone emitted by the meter when voltage is present) when the tampons fall out when they take out the meter. “WHAT ARE *THOSE* DOING IN THERE?!!” I’ll pick one up and do my best Groucho Marx imitation (with the tampon as cigar): “Whaddya think they’re doing in there, sweetheart?” (wiggling eyebrows, “cigar” tapping). Their reaction is adorable. In almost thirty years of doing this work, I’ve yet to get a blase–“oops, didn’t mean to drop your tampons” response.
So what I’m getting from this is tampon shotguns/grenades as a weapon against overaggressive dudes in public spaces, y/y?
oh my god, what a genius idea. some dude won’t shut the fuck up, you don’t even look up from your phone as you pull a tampon out of the bag and just wave it at the motherfucker like a wizard’s wand. AWAAAAAAY.
….what the hell is wrong with guys.
oh man oh man I now want to keep a new pad in my pocket at all times for the occasion of being harrassed, calmly opening the pad, and stickying it to the jerkface’s face “To catch the bloody stupid ideas that keep dripping out of your mouth”
using an applicator tampon to fire the tampon at someone (you’d have to hit it hard & fast but practice makes perfect)
MOAR STORY TIME:
in high school, in an AP science class, all the boys were in a group and huddled around something and acting like it was a bag of puke or something and daring each other to poke it. one of the girls asks what they’re doing and the boys look at each other all sly and shit and run over and shove this long white odd-shaped pen in her face. they ask her to identify it. she says its a pen. the boys look disappointed and go over to me and ask the same thing.
i say “its a weird shaped pen” and they wiggle it around a little bit and go “yeah but what does it look like?” Im clueless to what they’re going on about. meanwhile all the rest of the class is watching. the dude finally gets tired of the unimpressed responses he’s getting and goes “it looks like a tampon, right?!” all triumphant like he found a bug and expects us all to scream in fear of it
instead the first girl he talked to reaches over to her bag and starts to rummage around going “no, THIS is what a tampon looks like” and BEFORE SHE CAN EVEN FINISH PULLING IT OUT all the boys have scattered to the farthest corners of the room, screaming, like banshee-roaches when the lights come on
it was funny as hell XD
all the girls were laughing their asses off. the boys didn't’ live that down for the rest of the year.
I once opened a brand new box of pads and as I was opening it my brother literally started screaming about how gross it was. I tried to tell him they were clean but he just kept telling me they were still disgusting so I took one out and threw one at him and he FREAKED THE FUCK OUT. My mom was lowkey laughing but I still got in trouble cuz he literally would not stop screaming. Keep in mind my brother is 21. Men are weak in the face of plastic and cotton.
So moral of all these stories is that we should all carry around tampons to shove in cis boy’s faces.
it’s like Kryptonite
i would just like to point out that the recent conversation surrounding the male birth control trials isn’t just “lol weak men can’t deal with side effects” it’s the fact that when they were testing hormonal birth control for women in the 50s & 60s, the side effects were much worse, and the women who participated in them, mostly in puerto rico, were not told about the side effects or that the drug was experimental
and THEN when women dropped out, they started using incarcerated women as their guinea pigs, and then despite the fact that some scientists who participated in the original trials were like “uh i don’t think this is actually good, it’s making a lot of these women sick,” the pharmaceutical industry & fda were like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and approved it for the general population anyways, without really warning women about the potential for all these negative side effects
and THEN researchers basically ceased to do any type of research on side effects like depression and decreased libido for 50 years, despite the fact that women were still complaining about them, and because there was no “hard evidence” of these side effects, a lot of doctors basically just assumed women were exaggerating or making it up. and that continued until the first major study of depression in women who take hormonal contraceptives was released just. this. year.
so yeah, the patriarchy. *waves flag*
further reading:
oh, and fun fact: even after this new study was released, a lot of the scientific community is still being like “but can we PROVE these women aren’t just depressed because they’re LOVESICK?”
Gaslighting by doctors
