quixotic chaotic

Me: I don’t know if I ever want to be pregnant, I’d rather adopt a kid or two that are a bit older

Someone: Are you SURE? Older adoptees present UNIQUE CHALLENGES

Me: We are discussing human beings not digital pets

Literally every child every born and/or parented presents unique challenges. It’s like people are unique individuals…..or something………….

An amazing and revolutionary concept

When people ask me, “Why do you want to adopt teenagers?” I always answer, “Because you asked like that.”

I’m real over it. If I become a foster mom to a 17 year old kid and I get the privilege of the option to adopt them? You better believe I am legally making that kid mine.

“They’ll be a legal adult in no time, why spend the money to adopt? They’ll be aged out of the system.”

There’s no aging out of family, Marvin.

“They might be rebellious or smoke or do drugs or steal things! What if they won’t listen to you?”

Then I guess I’ll have to step up and do some fruxking parenting, Stanley.

“You want to adopt problem children then?”

All. Children. Are. Problem. Children. If you’re not prepared to deal with the fact that at some point, any child ever, whether you birthed them yourself or adopted them at any age, could become a problem? Then you are NOT ready to have children, and should really just step off and let the people who actually want to be parents live in peace with their kids.

Hey I’m so glad this post is picking up

Heartwarming Pics Of Children Who Were Just Adopted

I love adoption stories. My mom adopted 3 kids and she never let us or anybody else make a difference out of the 6 of us. My biological brother had the same name as my adopted brother and people could not understand why my mom would name 2 sons in succession, Johnny. But we wouldn’t explain it. Adopt kids. Make it normal. Not the the thing u do simply when u cant.

This will melt a heart of stone.

^^^^ THAT PERSON UP THERE

please normalize the fuck out of adoption, i’ve given speeches and lectures and written papers about all the misconceptions and fears and rumors that plague the issues of adoption and make this perfectly normal, healthy, happy thing a rare occurrence in our society and that is sad and wrong

adoption is not “giving up” on a child, adoption is not a last resort, adoption is not just for certain types of families

please normalize adoption

Also please normalize adopting teenagers. I’m not saying you shouldn’t adopt young children and babies, but there are so many teens out there that just don’t get adopted because of their age. So please normalize adopting teens! 

I hate adding on to long posts, but as someone who spent time in foster care growing up I have to chime in. Foster parents are amazing, and so are adoptive parents. My foster parents, brothers and sisters made a huge impact on who I am. Please adopt. Adopted kids are not worth less than blood relations. Stop that line of thought.

Okay, this made me tear up

☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️

here is an idea: normalise the idea that adopting kids is a valid option even for parents who could conceive a child themselves, and not just an inferior backup option for parents who can’t

Just coming from an adopted kid, the benefits of adoption: -When your kid asks where they come from you can literally say you pre-ordered them and waited for them to come in. My dad always equated picking me up from the hospital to ordering a sofa at k-mart and it always made me laugh. No need to explain pregnancy till they’re older. -Your child will always know it was wanted and on purpose. My parents waited 5 years for me. They waited. For me to be born. I was wanted, from the moment I came into this world, by the people who raised me. -You don’t have to pay for pregnancy or birth. Just adoption fees. No thirty thousand dollar hospital bill. -You don’t have to give birth, or be pregnant, both of which objectively suck. -The biological parents of that baby will be so happy that there is someone in the world who is willing to watch over their child. The relief that comes with that is overwhelming. -You’re saving a child’s life that would otherwise potentially be stuck in the adoption and foster system for their entire childhood. I’ve always heard arguments about wanting the baby to be ‘yours’ but really. My parents are my parents. Just because I don’t share their DNA doesn’t mean I’m not theirs. When it comes right down to it, blood of the bond is thicker than water of the womb. 

As another adopted kid, I second every point made here. When I’m asked if it’s weird having been adopted, the simple answer I always give is, “No, because I know for damned sure my parents love me and I love them to death too.”

Let a child into your life who needs a good life of their own. Consider adoption.

Also stop believing TV, Kids wanna be adopted and most of them aren’t gonna get with their adopted parents and then be like “well it’s been fun having you raise me since before I could talk and loving me for the past 12-15 years but fuck you now I’m going to find my real family and live with them forever and be a “normal teenager/child.”

America needs to stop putting blood relationships above every other type of family.

Also, as an addition to everything but especially the last point: TELL YOUR KID THEY ARE ADOPTED. The last situation only happens if its kept a secret because it becomes a grass is always greener scenario. If the child knows, it becomes a normal thing.

As a child who was adopted when I was 12, I was totally in support of my adoption. Actually the final hearing was postponed a short while so I could turn 12 & submit my own statement to the judge. I went through so many years of abuse, neglect, and abandonment. I *wanted* someone who *wanted* me. I love my Mama Bear with all my heart. She’s my world. She saved my life.

Consider adopting. There are so many children in the foster & adoption systems that are desperate for a loving home. I’ve also been through the foster system, and it is hell. Straight up. There is no money, too many kids for the system to handle, and social workers who have been so beaten down by the bureaucracy that they don’t try anything. And that is the Canadian system. I cannot imagine what kind of fresh hell the U.S. system is like. Save a child from that. And not only babies are options. Consider it. Please.

The way people dismiss non-genetic familial bonds is honestly such pervasive and insidious bullshit!! Literally the number one response to telling people I was adopted (particularly when I was young) was always, “oh, ooooooh, SORRY, I didn’t KNOW” — like I had been forced to admit something uncouth and embarrassing?? — followed by “so do you know who your REAL parents are?”

People are always asking if growing up adopted made me feel inferior, or insecure, or somehow bad. No, it never did! But you know what does?? This: “I don’t think I could ever adopt. I want a REAL kid. Oh, you know what I mean…. who’s really MINE, you know?”

I’m going through a lot of uterus-related medical fuckery right now and EVERY TIME I bring up the subject of a hysterectomy people (including doctors) get that pinched look, all, “but KIDS!” 

It doesn’t go away when I say, “I don’t want kids, and if I change my mind, I can adopt.” If anything it just gets weirdly condescending, like I don’t understand how “inferior” that option is. FUCK. OFF. 

Heartwarming Pics Of Children Who Were Just Adopted

I love adoption stories. My mom adopted 3 kids and she never let us or anybody else make a difference out of the 6 of us. My biological brother had the same name as my adopted brother and people could not understand why my mom would name 2 sons in succession, Johnny. But we wouldn’t explain it. Adopt kids. Make it normal. Not the the thing u do simply when u cant.

This will melt a heart of stone.

^^^^ THAT PERSON UP THERE

please normalize the fuck out of adoption, i’ve given speeches and lectures and written papers about all the misconceptions and fears and rumors that plague the issues of adoption and make this perfectly normal, healthy, happy thing a rare occurrence in our society and that is sad and wrong

adoption is not “giving up” on a child, adoption is not a last resort, adoption is not just for certain types of families

please normalize adoption

Also please normalize adopting teenagers. I’m not saying you shouldn’t adopt young children and babies, but there are so many teens out there that just don’t get adopted because of their age. So please normalize adopting teens! 

this is so important.

I cannot wait to adopt…

Omg omg omg this makes me so happy. Also, thank you to the person who mentioned adopting teenagers. I was 14 and I know some people want a brand new baby but older foster kids need a home too.

One of the things I said to my daughter when we were talking about family options - we have fertility issues in our family and her case is even the more so - was ‘honey, adoption is not a consolation prize.’ Believe it.

Adoption has and always will be my first choice. (like any of the some 6000 of you calling me mom, are surprised)

My husband and I agreed that when our kids are a little older and we’re more financially secure, we would foster/adopt older kids because they do tend to be forgotten.

Adopting children should not be seen as a last resort. There are amazing children in our foster care system just waiting to be adopted! I am very proud of my parents for adopting 3 biological siblings from foster care into our family, and wouldn’t have it any other way

I’m crying