quixotic chaotic

I may do a series on how many different ways Crowley can get rid of The Metatron.

good omens posting !!! (click image for optimal quality)

prints available here

i just saw the tag “canon complicit” instead of “canon compliant” and im laughing its like “canon is a criminal act that i unfortunately support with this fic”

The Three Grades:

Canon Compliant: “This fic goes along with canon.” (Because I like it? Because I’m too tired to disagree by writing my own fic? Who knows? The author may or may not tell us.)

Canon Compatible: “Listen, I know it ISN’T canon, but think of it as Microsoft Office for Mac, it’s COMPATIBLE with canon, and that counts.”

Canon Complicit: “I have not died a hero, so I have become an accessory to the Villainy of Canon.”

Canon Compatible is a great term for when your fic is Probably Not What Tolkien Would Have Wanted but it doesn’t really contradict anything in canon either

#you can install this fic without canon crashing and that’s what matters

Okay I’m officially in love with Canon Compatible, this is a very useful term and describes so much fic.

All of this not forgetting the added “Canon Critical”, “Canon Cautious” and of course “Canon Cancelled”

Well, someone had to do it ;)

So, here’s my attempt at the ‘Bagginshield but OFMD’ AU concept that everyone has been raving about - lovingly dedicated to @lordoftherazzles!! Happy Birthday Razzy! ♥️

👹⛪Quick silly thing, I saw that meme and ObViOuSlY I thought of my medieval boys :'3

What do you think they are chatting about?

Sorry. Dumb spouses pic.

Relief in successfully thwarting the apocalypse.

The point just before everyone disperses…..

Felling That Pine Tree.

bilbo “what the fuck is an arkenstone” baggins

perfect tags by linddzz

Have also a bunch of husbands because I am a weak person. First 3 are from some fanfiction because I am REALLY a weak person. Last one is actually one of my fav quote from the book, and little fun fact, in the Italian translation they changed it by having the gorillas “coming out only in the mist”, and I have alwasy associated it with the movie The Mist. And maybe that’s just me, but the idea of a drunken angel swearing over God about a wrong fact because it has seen it in a movie, and such movie being an horror movie just cracks me up.

The Ring: If I had a quarter for every time a hobbit picked me up, I’d have two quarters.  The Ring: Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.

Of all the bearers of Sauron’s ring, 4 of them were hobbits.

I was wrong. It’s 5. Not 4

The lineage of ring bearers is as follows.

I love how Deagol counts as a ring bearer even though he had it in his possession for all of like five seconds

He held it for the rest of of his life!

[Image description: Tweet by @banalplay saying “but something happened then that the ring did not intend. it was picked up by the most unlikely creature imaginable: a hobbit, the same fuckin thing that just had it for like 500 years.” End Image Description.] Link to original here. Otherwise reblogging for the final rb there, which made me cackle.

From the ring’s perspective:

1. Home, the finger of my creator and other self.

2. Well, I don’t like it but I can work with this. Cause some trouble, get some revenge, find my way home, this is fine.

3. What the fuck is you?

4. Right personality, wrong species, I don’t know what you are but I hate you and I don’t know why you’re so resistant to my powers.

5. NO NO NO there are goblins everywhere how did I find another one of THESE horrible things. This one’s even more resistant than the last one and also disgustingly nice. I suffer.

6. Listen, I’ll cooperate, just get me the fuck out of this hellhole full of small cheerful people my power doesn’t work on properly. No, not like that. I hate you. Please stop. 

7. FUCK

8. (Frodo again) I still hate you with every molecule of my mortal form but at least you’re not number seven. Think I’m starting to get through finally. 

9. (Smeagol again) YES it’s you I actually missed you now get me back to the Master and NO FUCK NO I HATE YOOOOUUUUU…. *fzt* 

you CHAIN The One Ring?! you chain it like the prisoner?! oh! OH! trauma! deep psychological trauma for hobbits for One Thousand Years!

[ID: Tumblr tags that read: (edited for readability) “you can almost feel sorry for the Ring. like it does what it was made to do. it literally has one job. and it just keeps getting passed from hobbit to hobbit. like ANY OTHER SPECIES WOULD BE FINE. but no. it just keeps getting more of these impervious bastards. and each one is more virtuous and less vulnerable than the last. it gets all the way back to Mordor. and it can’t even pull its ‘slip off the finger’ trick. because all the bastards keep it on a CHAIN. this is ring cruelty”. /End ID.]

Iroh: so Toph, what are your goals in life?

Toph: I’ve been banned from every major city’s transportation system except Omashu

Toph: I don’t know what their limit is but I will fucking find it 

King Boomie, having exactly zero limits:

Unstoppable object meets immovable force

Why wasn’t this Toph’s future instead of becoming a freaking cop. This would have made so much more sense. 

My favorite part of this is “when I am no longer fit to rule” because

1. Implying Bumi was fit to rule at any point

1.1 except maybe in the sense that he was completely shredded

2. That he has no plans to die, (nor would death necessarily make him unfit to rule), but that he apparently intends to like. Tuck his arms and legs into himself and just roll off into the sunset.

3. Given that the Earth Kingdom has an actual ruling family that causes some drama in LoK, Toph continuing to cause monarchy confusion is both 100% in character and fucking hilarious.

Toph takes over as King Bumi the second and everyone is like “no that’s not how inheriting works” and Bumi is like “No no she’s right, I did say “inherit my title!”

When toph is no longer fit to rule, she instills bumi (Aang’s son) as her heir and he is known as bumi 3.

Her first act as ruler is to ban herself from Omashu’s transportation system, thus fulfilling one of her life goals.

Imagine losing your phone (or having it stolen, nobody's entirely sure) but you've got the location thing on so you can check from your computer where the phone is when it's turned on. You try to map out where the fuck it is, but it's been wandering around in places that don't have maps and people shouldn't access. It turns out that no matter who stole it, a fucking raccoon has it now, and you're pretty much run out of battery. You need this phone so you try to fervently figure out how the fuck you're going to get it back.

Okay, it hasn't been moving in a raccoon-like fashion for a while, so you're pretty sure that it's not being carried around by the raccoon anymore. Oh, it looks like it's been found, someone turned it on and charged it! A notification pings on your computer, someone has sent a message from your phone!

"23rqrferq233rqrw434r". The phone is moving on the GPS again. It has been picked up by another fucking raccoon!

...And that is roughly how I picture Sauron feeling when the Ring was once again carried by another hobbit.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001) + letterboxd reviews (insp.)

Petition for fic writers to stop with the fancy smells. You and I both know Aziraphale smells just as bad as his bookshop.

(x)

Not to be confused with Lawful Chaotic, which is creating as much chaos as possible by following the letter of the law, usually to ridiculous extremes.

They’re best friends too

just saying…