All of the AUs I’ve been thinking as of late are quite serious.
Here. Have a super dumb (and kind of detailed) AU again for once.
During their Christmas Party at their office, Bilbo’s department did Secret Santa with a value of $10 for the gifts. The present that Bilbo ended up with was a calendar. Bilbo quite liked gifts that are actually something that he needed, and yes he did need a calendar for next year. However, the calendar that he got was of the Erebor’s Fire Department annual charity calendar, featuring some really hot men he has ever seen, especially Mr. Firefighter August, who was a tall man with dark raven hair, peppered with some silver hair at his widow’s peak. He had a glorious full beard and a mustache, that Bilbo can tell will give some nice beard burn on one’s face if they ever make out with that handsome piece of meat— don’t get him even started with that bod. They better hose down that body because it was too hot for its own good. Propriety be damned, Bilbo thought. He decided to buy those desk calendars for his office and just have this wall calendar always on Mr. August.
A few months later, the fire alarm rang loudly at their office building, and it wasn’t a false alarm this time. As they were heading down the escape stairs, Bofur (Being Bilbo’s partner with the buddy system) teased Bilbo that maybe his Mr. August will be one of the firefighters coming. After everyone was outside, waiting for the verdict if there was fire or not and how bad the damage was, two firemen went up to the fire marshal of their floor (probably Bard), and told him someone had been smoking by the fire escape and the smoke detector caught the smoke of the cigarette. No one came up to admit, and it will never be known because everyone got too distracted from laughter when Bilbo yelped in shock, blushing tremendously hard as Bofur basically shouted out loud for everyone to that it was Mr. August who was talking to Bard, and while Mr. August was beet red when his bald partner (who was Mr. April— Bilbo realized after) was hitting him in the elbow and teasing and kept saying how Mr. grumpy-pants gets to have a cute fan, who was most certainly Mr. August’s type. Before everyone headed back up, Mr. August slipped a note on Bilbo’s hand before heading out. On it had his number scribbled, with a name he can only assume was his. “So his name is Thorin”.
Oh yeah, and by the way, it was Gandalf who was smoking. Of course he had to be the reason why these two meet up.
And also… I’ve actually drawn Mr. August’s calendar picture. Just never finished it lmaaooo