whenever i say “screaming crying throwing up” this is what i mean

if a sorceress decided to turn me into a stone statue for thousands of years I'd be like whatever

i love u tzatziki i love u pita i love u olive oil i love u foccacia i love u hummus i love u flat bread

how can i get into someone's nightmares i have a message to send

autistic folks when their routine gets disrupted, and they don't get alone time when they're supposed to get alone time

sorry for being indecisive, I haven’t had any prophetic dreams to guide me in a while

i hold infinite love and infinite critique for bioware in my body and that’s the duality of man

(Job interview) "Do you have any skills that you'd bring to the team?"

Well I have big brown eyes. So.

I’m fine

I need divine intervention

“help” is my favorite way to say that something is funny. like hey i laughed at this post can you save me

death would fix me

INDEED.COM SKILL LIST:

DIFFICULTY RETAINING AUDIO INFORMATION

SUICIDAL AMBITION

HATRED OF PHONE CALLS

BITCHY AND RUDE

WOULD PREFER TO BE DRUNK AND ON DRUGS

back from the hospital

only reason im telling you this is because on the wristband they gave me they had a pronouns section but instead of just putting down my pronouns there was a barcode you could scan

its just a very funny visual. probably real as fuck for some of you

a shirt that says I♡ BLOCKING PEOPLE