October 31, 1981

I wrote this last year and posted it on Ao3, but felt like throwing it in here today.  Sorry, not sorry? *cringes*

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Tonight James looked out the window and wondered when he’d be free to join the fight again. He loved his little family with his whole heart and would do anything to protect them, but he hated being cooped up and feeling useless.  He knew his friends, his brothers, were out there fighting and he wanted to be there with them to protect and help them. He heard Harry’s laughter from the other room and sighed, a soft smile playing on his lips.  It was all worth it to keep his wonderful wife and the son he loved more than anything safe.

Tonight Lily gave Harry a bath and smiled at his baby giggles and splashing.  Her heart was so full of love for her son and husband, but her mind was preoccupied with thoughts of those they’d lost and the fear of what was going on outside their safe house.  Her heart was broken at the devastating loss of some of her closest friends and she wanted to be out there fighting, doing what she could to win the war and avenge her loved ones, but she knew her place was here, keeping her husband and son safe and loved.

Tonight Remus was pretending to be on the pack’s side and gathering as much information as he could for the Order.  He hated what he was doing, but knew he was the only one capable of doing the job.  His mind would constantly wander to his friends, his family, and hope that they were safe.  The last words he’d said to Sirius, so hateful and filled with fear, weighed heavily on him, but he had to hope that their love was strong enough to get through this.  He wanted to leave, to run back to Sirius and beg him to listen, tell him all about his secret missions and whisper his innocence and his love into his boyfriend’s pale skin until they were whole again.  

Tonight Sirius sat in a dark Muggle bar, nursing a pint and thinking of the mission the night before and how he’d narrowly missed a curse from his own cousin, her jet-black hair and evil laughter unmistakable behind her silver mask. He felt grateful that his true family was hidden safe from harm behind a Fidelius charm.  His last words to Remus a few days prior kept replaying in his mind, his chest aching at the thought that the love of his life could possibly be a traitor.  In his heart he knew it wasn’t possible, but the seeds had been planted in his mind. He fervently wished Moony was with him so he could take it all back, stop the horrific accusations from leaving his lips and beg his forgiveness.  He wanted nothing more than to bury his fingers in Remus’ curls and worship his lover with his words, his mouth, his body, and just ignore the war raging around them.  

Tonight Peter sat straight and proud at the long table surrounded by cloaked figures, their masks at their sides.  He turned to face the Dark Lord, his master, when he was addressed, ignoring the muted laughter of the other Death Eaters who didn’t believe he was worth anything.  Small, chubby Peter, always seen as the tag-along by others, never as bright or as talented as his friends; he’d show them all.  He pushed aside the brief twinge of conscience that reminded him his friends had never treated him that way, had never marked him as inferior, and thought only of the promises the Dark Lord had made him in exchange for his loyalty, the information only he could provide.  The prickle of unease, the sheer enormity of the betrayal he was committing, didn’t set in until after he had disclosed the location of the Potters safe house.  Memories of four boys romping throughout the castle together, sharing secrets, pulling pranks, flashed through his mind and he swallowed down the bile that rose in his throat, twisting his insides, and forced himself to think of the possibilities, the power, the safety he had been promised.

Tonight Harry flew on his toy broom his Uncle Padfoot had gifted him, his father laughingly chasing him around the sitting room.  He splashed water on his mother, giggling when she splashed back, as he played with the bath toys his Uncle Wormy had given him.  He cuddled with the stuffed dog his Uncle Moony gave him as his father read him a story and his mother sang his favorite lullaby for the last time.

They had no idea that tonight would be the last night of everything; their love, their friendships, their family, their lives…

Read it on Ao3 here.