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I guess I'm a Transformers fan now.

@jedi-kat-18 / jedi-kat-18.tumblr.com

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niiwa-angel

I've been dragged kicking and screaming into the Transformers Fandom so I'm going to make it everyone's problem. Imagine humans have weird but casual interactions with the Transformers.

You're a garage owner going about your day when this giant fucking robot knocks on your roof and asks if you sell tires. Apparently, there was a top secret battle between the military/Autobots and the Decepticons a few miles away and this dude got one of his tires blown out. They have more back at base but having a ruined tire is really uncomfortable so he's wondering if you have a possible replacement. And like, you do and these guys have saved the planet a few times so sure, you fetch a tire and replace his broken one while sweating balls because you do not want to upset this thing. Once you're done he just nods and thanks you and fucks off. You're a little jaded that he didn't pay but 1. He definitely doesn't have human currency and 2. He's saved your planet a few times so you can probably eat the cost of a tire.

And then the fucker turns up a few weeks later with a chunk of gold that he found in a mountain like Hey! This is valuable to humans right? And he gives you that, which is waaaayyy more than the cost of one tire but you don't know how to break a chunk of gold and he's driving off before you can ask if he wants change. That's just life sometimes.

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Or! Imagine some poor impound worker freaking the fuck out when one of their impounded cars just turns into a robot, breaks off the boot, and is really pissed off about how they wound up there. And that poor fucker has to be the one to explain no overnight parking to an alien robot that is VERY upset about being dragged here. They're stomping off before the worker can explain to them that they also have to pay a fine which is probably for the best because how the fuck are you supposed to explain that?

Meanwhile, the robot is stomping off down the street muttering about how you can't even recharge on this Primus forsaken planet without some human bothering you about it. And what's the point of all those parking lots of you can't park there?

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The Transformers being Awkward about human interaction and taking a lot from what they see, even if it's wrong. Bumblebee, Mirage, Jazz, and Arcee are flipping civilians the bird pretty indiscriminately while in town, which is really confusing. So when one of the military guys walks by, it gets pointed out and they explain that when they're in their car mode driving to missions, they often get flipped off by other drivers who are annoyed that they're driving so recklessly. But! They don't realize it's an insult they just think it's a greeting so they have to have a debriefing about it later. They apologize for the insult.

~~~

Everyone thought Bumblebee was the family friendly robot because he usually kept a civil tongue. But that was exclusively because what he had access too on public radio was pretty clean. With the widespread use of podcasts and streaming services, he actually curses like a sailor and it's freaky.

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Somebody has one of those lawn mowing Roombas that's out doing it's fucking job when Starscream sees it from above and comes down to try and talk to it, see if it's a Decepticon. Even when he figures out it's not, he takes it anyway because it has blades so that might be useful. Meanwhile, poor dude is just in their fucking house watching their lawnmower get kidnapped without being able to do anything about it. Except call the hotline which leads to a very weird conversation.

"hey uh, so this isn't an emergency but a Decepticon just stole my lawn mower. Not sure if you can do anything about that."

"ah yes. Sorry sir, they sometimes do that. We'll try and send a replacement, what's the model?"

And then a few weeks later Optimus Prime shows up with an exact model of the one that was stolen, apologies for the inconvenience, and drives away. However, the Autobots are also fascinated by your lawnmower and so occasionally your yard is invaded by an alien robot that watches enthralled as your lawn is mowed.

~~~

Living in a cold area prevents you from seeing either Autobots or Decepticons in the winter time because it doesn't snow on Cybertron and they really don't fucking like it. Their best way of dealing with snow is to hide out in their heated lairs and just ride it out, they aren't going out in that shit.

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They also hate hail so sometimes they'll hide under overpasses with bikers. It's a weird sight, a group of bikers and Mirage just hanging out under an overpass, shooting the shit, waiting for the weather to clear up.

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Living near an American military base means sometimes you see the Autobots out and about. They get leave too and they like to explore. Favourite places to frequent include drive in theaters, parks, especially if they have animals, sports arenas (they can climb up on the roof and look in), and scrap yards.

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Cybertronians can eat metal (we saw the robot dinosaur try eating cars in one of the Bayverse movies so I like to think all of them can do it.) so it's a frequent snack for them. They've figured out not to eat things that belong to humans but they consider the scrap yards to be fair game. If you see a giant robot ripping apart old cars to take some parts just leave it be, they're getting snacks.

If you see Rachet yelling at that same robot later, it's because processed earth metal is basically junk food and eating too much of it makes them sick. That does not stop them.

~~~

After a battle the local carwashes are pretty well filled with Autobots trying to wash the mud and gunk off themselves because apparently they can't get into the transport ships that dirty. The locals aren't sure if that's a military rule or a rule Optimus Prime implemented but it's sure fun to speculate.

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weatherbane3

Polyhexan Nightstrike: With its nocturnal habits and ability to navigate in near darkness, the nightstrike is an invaluable companion to those who make their living in the subterranean levels of cybertron and the near constant darkness of polyhex itself. Despite its long-standing importance to polyhexans, all attempts to breed in captivity or completely domesticate nightstrikes have failed. As such, pups are poached from their nests at a few days old. While a nightstrike is willing to learn and obey commands, they are always just as likely to desert their owner and return to the wild. Praxian Tracker: Sharp witted and obedient, Trackers are a favorite of hunters and search and rescue teams. Their ability to pick up scents, even those days old and separated by distance is second to none, and their ability to match speeds on foot equal to most alt modes makes them prime hunting companions. Iaconian Hound: Their sturdy frames, speed, and jaws powerful enough to crush most metals make them a favorite of law enforcement and private security. Hounds are loyal but head-strong; their willful personality is both a blessing and a curse, but their dedication to their owners- once earned- is unshakable. Kaonite Pit-Hound: A favorite of fighting rings and as guard-dogs, Pit-hounds are a close cousin to Iaconian Hounds, but even closer to their Cyberwolf ancestors. Pit-hounds are unique in that their claws do not fully retract, and their protective mane of kevlar fibers is coarser and thicker than that of their Iaconian counterparts. While faster, stronger, and with sharper teeth, their temperament is unpredictable and tempers short; Pit-Hounds are not good companion or work animals. Simfur Rounded: One of the largest canine breeds, Roundeds are gentle giants. They love people and especially sparklings, and are happy with both sedentary and active life styles. Originally bred as temple guardians, Simfur Roundeds are still used in official events, and at least one lives at every temple as per tradition. Noble Opallios: Cute and playful, they are a favorite companion to Nobles across all of Cybertron. Their fuel probably costs more than you make in a year, pleb. Tarnish Ridgeback: It’s long been debated whether Ridgebacks are actually canines- almost as long as they have been used for labor in the mines. Hardy and strong, Ridgebacks have no problem going underground and hauling several tons of raw materials in carts back up when machines break down or the going is unsteady. Also good deterrents against intruders.

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renmoss

When I was a kid, whenever I'd feel small or lonely, I'd look up at the stars. Wondered if there was life up there. Turns out I was looking in the wrong direction. When alien life entered our world, it was from deep beneath the Pacific Ocean. A fissure between two tectonic plates. A portal between dimensions. The Breach. I was fifteen when the first Kaiju made land in San Francisco. By the time tanks, jets and missiles took it down, six days and 35 miles later, three cities were destroyed. Tens of thousands of lives were lost. We mourned our dead, memorialized the attack, and moved on. And then, only six months later, the second attack hit. Then the third one hit Cabo. And then the fourth. And then we learned this was not gonna stop. This was just the beginning. We needed a new weapon. The world came together, pooling it's resources and throwing aside old rivalries for the sake of the greater good. To fight monsters, we created monsters of our own. The Jaeger program was born.

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