do you think Nicky ever starts to believe his parents? like a bad day and he misses Erik but they fought or Erik didn't say I love you back and he's overthinking it
and then suddenly he's fifteen and he just got caught with a boy again and all he can hear is his dad telling him wrong he is and how he is going to go away for a while to be cured of his illness
and Nicky's believing it even though he knows better but he hates himself so much that it has to be some divine punishment because how can someone who smiles so brightly for everyone else want to die so badly half the time?