@jbuffyangel / jbuffyangel.tumblr.com
Hey all! I apologize for the lack of blogging. I went to Europe for 2 weeks, which was wonderful, but my mother broke her hip. She’s home now and I’ve been caring for her and working, so it leaves little time for blogging and podcasting. So the blog is on a (hopefully) brief hiatus. Thank you for your patience and I’m looking forward to getting back to Arrow Season 2 reviews.
Hello friends! I will be on a hiatus for the next two weeks (same with the Watchover podcast), but I will have 2x08-2x10 reviews ready for you when I get back!
XOXO Jen
Hi this may be an odd question but reading your blog (and other Olicity blogs) it strikes me that while you provide insightful in depth analysis of the show at large you proudly admit that Oliver and Felicity’s relationship is paramount to your overall enjoyment and investment in the show. I personally possess a lot of internal shame stemming from my primary focus on the ship and will feel the need to justify my interest in the other aspects of the show (which I do love but I also love Olicity). I struggle with this with not just Arrow but any tv show where the romantic relationship isn’t intended to be the main premise of a show. I know I am allowing myself to be impacted by the views of comic book (and mostly male) fans and I can acknowledge that many of their views on Olicity fans and the show at large when it comes to the ship are at least somewhat if not primarily misogynistic. Despite knowing it comes from a sexist place which loves to shame women for enjoying romance and reduce our enjoyment to a surface level guilty pleasure unaware of the ways a romantic relationship can add major depth and development to a story as is the case with Arrow (although even if it didn’t add that it would still be valid to like the romance aspects), I still internalize those sexist sentiments and feel ashamed and like I cannot fully enjoy those things are I have to add caveats of my enjoyment. I was just wondering if you ever struggled with this or if you have always felt confident in proudly proclaiming your interest and investment in ships or if it was something that evolved over time. I’m sorry if this is a weird question I just witnessed your confidence in the validity of your passion and I wish I could have that conviction and not feel the shame that misogynistic society has given me in regards to shipping and enjoying romance. It’s definitely much harder in a fandom like Arrow where antis will openly voice their disdain for shippers and make extremely disparaging remarks and assumptions about Olicity shippers but I have felt this way in other fandoms too even when non shippers aren’t this aggressive or sexist.
Hello Nonnie!!!! I am so happy you reached out :) Apologies for the delay. I haven't checked my inbox for about a week. You write so beautifully!
To be honest, I've always marched to the beat of my own drum. I was a sick kid and had difficulty making friends because of it. I was teased in school a lot because of my health issues. Elementary school was not fun. I liked my mom and I liked being home. (These things really haven't changed). The Lord blessed me with a great imagination and a love for stories. I would just play by myself because the world I invented was so much cooler than reality.
It did give me a very strong independent streak, which my parents encouraged. The world had been very cruel to them as well. I was highly encouraged to stand up for myself, tell people where to stick it, and not care what other people think.
I was much healthier in high school and made a bunch of friends. But even my friends, who I know love me to this day, thought it was weird how obsessed I was with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. My family thought I joined a cult lol. I just like what I like. It never mattered to me if anyone else liked it.
I find it absolutely insane that anyone looks down on love stories. Love stories have been around for as long as there's been human beings on this planet. Every culture has love stories. Why? Love is central to being human. Love is what MAKES us human. We are here on this planet to be loved and to love in return. It's the whole damn point. And I'm not speaking just about romance. We build our lives around all kinds of different relationships. It is not exclusive to romantic love.
But let's address romantic stories, since that seems to be the genre asshats have a problem with. The question is why? Probably because it's popular with women and God forbid we'd be supportive of women and things they like. The horror. I think you absolutely nailed it here:
Despite knowing it comes from a sexist place which loves to shame women for enjoying romance and reduce our enjoyment to a surface level guilty pleasure...
But sometimes I think there are more personal reasons people have such vile reactions to it. Maybe they don't have romantic love in their own life. Maybe they've been hurt by partners. Maybe they've been rejected and are lonely. Maybe romance stories are a painful reminder of what they don't have. I'm not sure. What I do know is that hurt people hurt people. So, more often than not, what I feel is not shame, but pity.
We're clearly on the right track since every television show, movie, book and comic book has some romantic element to it. Romance sells. So, feel confident because you are in the majority.
I don't give the comic book crowd too much thought. My attitude when it came to Arrow was there's plenty of room for everyone to love what they love, hate what they hate, and go about their merry way. Don't like my blog? Cool. There's the door. Plenty of fish in the sea friends. Seek out other bloggers. Start your own blog! The internet is a vast place. Go with God.
But there is an element of ownership within that community that makes them think they can dictate who can watch a show/movie, what we can like or dislike, who can portray the characters on screen, what stories should be told and how they should be told. It's not just romance. Comic book fans are LOUD about basically everything.
To a certain extent, I get it. You love a character and their stories for a long time. It's very exciting when those stories which only existed on paper are going to be brought to life onscreen. Comic books are a refuge for many people, no different than books or movies. So, it can be very upsetting when you don't feel the tv show or movie has met your expectations. I've been bummed out on more than one occasion with books being made into a movie or television show. We've all been there.
But that doesn't mean they get to be the bouncers at the door. They don't get to gatekeep. They don't get to be racists assholes when an actor or actress doesn't look exactly like the character on the page. They are entitled to their opinion, and their opinion only, but it does not give them a free pass to be hateful towards others who may disagree.
I don't want to single out comic book fans out - this is a general internet problem. People just become assholes behind a keyboard. They say things they would never have the guts to say in person. And clearly this is not ALL comic book fans. I have met many wonderful comic book fans who are welcoming and kind. They love Olicity just as much as I do. Even if they didn't, they respect differing opinions. They are just good human beings overall.
In the beginning of my blog, I debated with antis a lot because I thought we were all just having fun. But when the death threats started because I like Olicity and believed Arrow was going to kill off Laurel Lance, then I reached a point where maybe I was dealing with people who were a few paper plates short of a picnic, if ya know what I'm mean. It's a TELEVISION SHOW. These characters are NOT REAL. But there's no reasoning with crazy.
Do you know who are huge comic book fans? Greg Berlanti and Marc Guggenheim. We're talking HARD CORE. And who created Olicity? Greg and Marc. Don't even get me started on the hate they receive.
I know there were entire Reddit threads devoted to trashing me and my blog. Did I read it? No. Did I engage with those people? No. When Stephen Amell's Facebook became a cesspool of terrible antis going after Olicity fans - I left. Did I read the messages in my inbox that were nasty? Nope. DELETED. Did I read the Lauriver tag on tumblr? Nope. We were North and South. The Red Sox and the Yankees. We were never going to agree, so you stay on your side and I'll stay on mine. And when some in the Olicity fandom turned on me because I was still enjoying the show in later seasons, I unfollowed and blocked if necessary. It really boils down to this - can you disagree with someone and remain a polite and kind person? Many folks do not have this skill.
The key to mental health on the internet is control your environment. Do not engage with people who are mean. It's really that simple. Because no matter how "strong" you are mentally, over time, nasty and demeaning comments have a way of sinking in and taking root inside your mind. It's completely understandable that your feelings get hurt because that's the intention! They are trying to hurt you. They are trying to shame you. So don't give them the opportunity.
Does that mean there will be some websites, blogs, social media sites that you don't go to anymore? Yes. Does that mean there will be some fans you don't engage with? Yes. But you know what? The internet is a vast place and there are plenty of people out there who share your opinions. Who love what you love and want nothing more than to chat with you about it until 4 am in the morning. Those are your people. That's your community.
And just for the record, romance loving shippers can be terrible too. I've seen awful behavior from our side of the fence so we're certainly not exempt from the behavior we receive from antis. And loving romance is no guarantee people will be nice either. My shipper flag was forged in the fiery pits of shipper hell - The Vampire Diaries fandom. Nasty doesn't even come close to what I experienced in the great Stelena vs. Delena wars. Arrow is child's play in comparison.
Here's the thing. Arrow is about one man's evolution to a superhero. He could not become that superhero without the love of one woman. LOVE is central to Oliver Queen's development and if you don't understand that part of the story then you really don't understand Arrow.
I think you'll find when it comes to Arrow that it's not romance antis have a problem with. It's who Oliver's romantic partner is. If it was Laurel Lance they would've been happier than clams. But Arrow deviated from "comic book canon" and developed an organic character with an actress Stephen Amell actually had chemistry with. And they CANNOT get over it. But thems the breaks.
I think my perspective on humanity has not really evolved past age six in kindergarten. If you make fun of me or are cruel then you're not a nice person and I will have nothing to do with you going forward. I've approached life like this and overall I have come out the other side a healthier person because of it. The beauty of the internet is there's always another playground to find friends.
I've always been a shipper since I was a little kid. I could never understand why Bobby & Pam couldn't work it out on Dallas. Loved every single husband Erica Kane had on All My Children. (My mother let me watch some wildly inappropriate tv as a kid). I was really torn between Prince Lotor and Keith for Princess Allura on Voltron. I really didn't understand why He-Man and She-Ra couldn't date. I was obsessed with Jerrica and Rio on Jem. And on and on it goes.
In the immortal words of our Queen, Taylor Swift, "The worst kind of person is someone who makes someone feel bad, dumb or stupid for being excited about something.” She's bang on. Always trust in TSwizzle. I'm a 42 year old woman with a full life who wears her shipper flag proudly. Love what you love my friend. Screw the haters.
And feel free to message me whenever you want to talk shipping. This is a shipper safe zone and always will be. You have absolutely NOTHING to be ashamed of.
Hey #Olicity fans! I have some pretty iconic Felicity Smoak dresses that I’ve collected over the years but no longer wear. Let me know if you are interested in purchasing. $50 for each dress (plus shipping). Message me here on Tumblr or Twitter.
3x01 Red Date Dress - Size 2
5x15 Pink Dress - Size 1
6x09 Wedding Dress - Size Medium
Ready to feel old folks? My Felicity Smoak has grown up!!!
Wow! It has been 10 years since Arrow premiered on October 10, 2012. I can still remember watching the pilot and being amazed by Stephen Amell’s performance, the writing and the action. I did not know then how big of a role this show would play in my life, but as I reflect on the last 10 years I can only be grateful for everything Arrow gave me.
I especially want to thank all my readers and supporters of Something To Live For. You encouraged, laughed, raged and rejoiced with me over all the big & small moments in Olicity’s journey. Why y’all read 20+ page dissertations on a television show every week will always baffle me, but thank you for enjoying my crazy.
There are countless memories to choose from, but I am most grateful for the friendships I have made. Little did I know that my friendship soulmates were out there among the internets and Arrow was my path to find them.
I am proud to be part of a committed & compassionate group of fans. The Olicity fandom turned what we loved into powerful change with many charity campaigns. (Don’t forget to donate if you can to FCancer for Arrow10!) We are blessed with unbelievably creative & talented fan fiction writers, gif makers, vidders & artists. Thank you all for the hours & hours of entertainment. You keep this fandom going!
I cannot wait to celebrate this week with you! I didn’t have enough time to blog tonight, but I will be posting all the goodies @arrow10 has so wonderfully provided. We are well fed my fandom family. ENJOY.
We have our @watchover-podcast coming this Friday and we’ll be chatting 1x03 (which to many is the REAL Arrow pilot episode). And some more rambling thoughts from yours truly.
Thanks for the ride guys. Blog is still kicking thanks to you. I’m still writing. We’ll get these reviews done someday, but honestly it’s just nice enjoying this show with y’all. I’m in no hurry to see it end. HERE’S TO ANOTHER 10 YEARS!
Please watch Operation Toussaint on Amazon or on Youtube. It's about Tim Ballard's Operation Underground Railroad which rescues children from sex trafficking. It is truly horrifying that 2 million children are sold into sex slavery, but these brave men and women are doing everything they can to save them. If you need to see good people doing good in the world then watch & consider donating.
Hey all! I know I’ve been MIA a lot. Sorry. These procedures I’m having every week kind of take a lot out of me. I’ve been highly unmotivated. But hopefully the end is coming soon and I can get my energy back.
In the meantime here’s a gif of Olicity having sex to cheer you up.
My Arrow wall is complete! Thought you guys might get a kick out of seeing it. Thank you @lordmesa-art, @shaniartist, @audreygianelliart, @lipstickandwifi & Odyssey Art for your beautiful work!
It's a very sad day for our family. Our sweet, funny, lovable (albeit always a little grumpy) Rusty has died. We found out Saturday he had cancer and put him down today. I’ve tweeted and blogged about him tons so I wanted to let you guys know. Y’all know writing is how I process, so here goes.
Another great article detailing all the ways to help Twin Cities groups/businesses hurt by the riots and COVID. Please consider volunteering or donating if you can.
“I would never allow my kid to date a Stefan or Angel or hell not even Oliver Queen in real life. Are you nuts???? THEY MURDERED PEOPLE.” This made me laugh. I feel too many people forget this, liking a ship in a show doesn’t equate wanting it in real life haha - I loved your analysis of TVD and Stelena/Delena
Thank you Nonnie! I think it’s very important to draw the distinction between real life and fantasy. I understand the concerns people have about these kinds of stories and it’s a complex issue, but the messaging I received at home was far more important and impactful than anything from movies or television. It’s the same messaging I apply to my daughter. If she can understand Star Wars is about a bunch of space wizards and isn’t real, she can also understand I’m not telling her to marry Kylo Ren just by showing her Rise of Skywalker. The key is to keep talking and reinforcing the message this is all pretend.
I understand people’s concerns about showcasing toxic relationships or abuse as healthy or romantic. I think it would be fair to say nearly all of my favorite ships are problematic at times. There are certainly shows I will not let my daughter watch for multiple reasons, but the primary one being I don’t agree with some of the messages it sends to a young girl. That’s my responsibility as a parent to police that, but I also think it’s fine for network executives and writers to be aware of the potential issues. However, it’s a lot easier for me to shut it down in my own house versus shutting down a writer and their right to free speech.
But the circumstances they tell these stories in are INSANE and fantastical. If my boyfriend spent the better part of six months trying to murder my friends I wouldn’t go back to him just because he’s sorry. If you blow up planets I’m not going to date you. If you beat the crap out of me, either physically or emotionally or both, we’re done. An allegory is intended to be an exaggeration. The real lessons I apply to my life I learned from real people and real circumstances.
I am sooooo excited about this interview with Just About Write. It was such an honor Jenn asked me. JAW has been a HUGE part of my Arrow fandom experience. It’s been a privilege writing for this website and you all know I never turn down the chance to talk about Arrow and Olicity!!!
We are only a few weeks away from the Arrow series finale and I am so thankful to be part of this wonderful fandom. We have created so many memories together and raised so much money for worthy causes. You are good people, my fabulous fandom family. Thanks for letting me part of this amazing community. I hope you all have a safe and joyful holiday. If you are grieving, feeling sad or depressed this time of year please know you are not alone. We are here for you. Sending you all so much love!!! I pray the love of Christ lights your way this Christmas season.
And to my Jewish brothers and sisters in faith - Happy Hanukkah!
Well guys... it’s here. The day we say goodbye to Felicity Smoak. Best case it’s goodbye for a little while and worst case it is forever.
I know tonight is going to be painful, but I can’t feel anything but grateful for this iconic character. Olicity is the ship of ships and it’s been a hell of a ride. We’ve been to the top of Shipper Mountain with them and the view was fantastic. Felicity made everything about Arrow better, starting from her very first scene. I hope Beth and Marc pay homage to this character and this beautiful love story in the way it deserves.
I know for many of you this will be a series finale. I want to thank you for visiting my blog and giving so much of your time reading what I write. I truly appreciate it.
I hope you stick around because I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be watching Season 8 (taking one for the team), writing reviews of Season 1 and Season 2 and creating more fun blog content (which will include my own book). But if this is goodbye then I say thanks once again and wish you all the best!
