Winter: (Bangs gavel) Court is now in session. Bring forth the defendant.
Jaune: (Draws on sketchpad)
Ozpin: ...Mr. Arc, you only drew the judge. We need sketches of the defendant, as well.
Jaune: S-Sorry... I got distracted by her eyes...
Winter: Arc. Have you seen where my… sperm doner is?
Jaune: Uhhh
Cut to, Jaune shoving, Jacques into a crate, and shipping him to, Vacuo.
Jaune: No idea~!
Winter: …
Jaune: 🙂
Winter: There's video of you shoving him into a crate.
Jaune: Shit! I thought I got them all!
Winter: Yes yes yes. You committed a crime, and I'm afraid I have to cuff you.
Jaune: Haa… Fine, take me away, Specialist Schnee…
Winter: Come this way, Mr. Arc.
Jaune: Alright… Hey? I thought you were taking me to a jail cell, this is the way to your room?
Winter: Who said I was going to cuff you in a jail cell now~?
Jaune: Oh…
Jaune: Kinky.
Marrow: Hey, newbie.
Jaune: Yeah?
Marrow: You think Specialist Schnee's carpet matches the drapes?
Jaune: W-what?!
Marrow: I mean, yeah she has white hair but dark eyebrows so-
???: Ahem.
Marrow: Oh gods have mercy...
Winter: Marrow, please see General Ironwood and explain to him why you'll be scrubbing toilets this weekend.
Marrow: Yes, ma'am...
Winter: As for you, Arc.
Jaune: Y-yes, ma'am?
Winter: Want to see if the carpet matches the drapes?
There’s a Simpsons clip where Kumiko is so fascinated by Maggie so when it cuts their apartment, she knocked the door down asking her husband Comic Book Guy to impregnate her at once. Now I imagine Winter holding Adrian for the first time and cuts to her knocking the door down and said it to Jaune.
--------------------------------------------------
Saphron: Oh, sounds like Adrian's awake. Could you stay with him while I go warm his food? (Walks away)
Winter: Wh- I don't know anything babies! In fact, I don't even remember being one myself!
Adrian: (Whimpers through monitor)
Winter: (Picks up monitor) Er... There, there. You'll... You'll live!
--------------------------------------------------
Adrian: (Reaching for toy out of reach)
Winter: (Picks it up, Hands it over)
Adrian: (Giggles, Cuddles toy)
Winter: ...
Winter: (Picks up Adrian, Smiles)
Adrian: (Smiles)
Winter: (Slowly turns, Sings softly) Schlaf, Kindlein, schlaf. Der Vater hüt die Schaaf. Die Mutter schüttelts Bäumelein. Da fällt herab ein Träumelein. Schlaf, Kindlein, schlaf~.
Adrian: (Cuddles up to Winter)
Saphron: Oh... He really likes you! You're a natural~! (Takes Adrian)
Winter: ...I just remembered something I need to tell your brother.
--------------------------------------------------
Jaune: (Falls over)
(Ask, Original AU) "Ara-Ara Jaune-Kun" from Willow to Jaune while Weiss is around.
Jaune looked at the predatory expression of the older woman with a smile, emits nervousness. “I think I should go now…” He said as he walked backwards to the door and find it locked and he heard the sound of clothes dropping to the floor and Weiss let out explosive sigh and mutter “Stupid Arc MILF Magnetism…”
Willow: Weiss, you know how to pick your friends, sweetie.
Weiss: Gods, mother, stop.
Willow: Those muscles, mhmm. You really missed your chance. *walks off to follow Jaune* Oh, Jauuune~
Weiss: *grimaces* Oh, for Brothers' sake...
Jaune: *Looks past Weiss* Weiss, you didn't tell me you had a beautiful older sister?~💕
Weiss: Wait, winter is here? *turns around* That's my mom.
Willow: Weiss, don't interrupt him.
Bleiss: Thank you for accepting my dinner invitation, darling~
Jaune: Yeah... Um... Bleiss. Look, I'm not looking for a girlfriend. I think we should be friends, you know I'm saying- Wait where did you get the tamales?
Bleiss: I made them myself.
Jaune: You made them yourself? Like yourself yourself?
Jaune: *Takes a bite*
Jaune: *Looks at her with a puzzle stare*
Jaune: *takes another bite*
Jaune: *Puts the fork down and keeps looking at her*
Jaune: Did you get my mom's recipe?
Bleiss: Youtube
Jaune: Youtube?!
Bleiss: *Nods*
Jaune: Well anyways, so like I was saying, I'm not looking for a girlfriend, I'm looking for a wife. I'm just- *Looks at another dish* Is that Chiles en nogada
Bleiss: *Nods again*
Jaune: *takes a bite and looks at her in disbelief*
Jaune: No no, how did you..., I mean, I'm was thinking, Maybe it's about time that we should live together.
Bleiss: Really?~
Jaune: Yeah, what is that by the way? *points to a pot*
Bleiss: Pozole
Jaune: Pozole? Like Pozole Pozole?
Bleiss: *Nods*
Jaune: *Looks inside* No way... You made that?
Bleiss: *Nods one more time*
Jaune: *He pours himself a bowl* So anyways, like I was saying I'm looking for a wife and I think, sorry, I know now that I read you wrong and I'm ready, I think I'm ready for marriage. What do you think?
Bleiss: I think we should get marry in Menagerie.
Jaune: Menagerie?! I don't know about that. *takes a sip from his bowl*
Jaune: *Puts the bowl down in surprise*
Jaune: I mean, I don't know who you want to invite. So make sure I get that list so I can *Takes another sip* I'm sorry, how often you eat like this?
Bleiss: Every day
Jaune: Every day! Every day?!
Bleiss: is that a problem?~ *She says with a smug smile*
Jaune: Oh you bet there is a problem. You are Mrs. Arc now!
Bleiss: Luck me~💕
Whitney: You!
Jaune: Ack!
Whitney: You have been avoiding me all night! Why?
Jaune: I-I'm sorry. I'm just not used to hanging out alone with girls.
Whitney: You didn't have trouble when you thought I was a boy!
Jaune: Huh... Yeah, you're right.
Whitney: So why not just pretend I'm boy?
Jaune: Uh... Sure... (Blinks) Hey... It actually worked!
Whitney: See? Now, (Rubs chest) wanna sneak into my father's office and make out~?
Jaune: (Picks up) Yes, sir~!
Winter: Good morning, Mr. Arc.
Jaune: Good morning, Specialist Schnee.
Winter: Would you like some coffee?
Jaune: Er... Y-Yes, please.
Winter: And how do you take your coffee?
Jaune: (Thinking) Okay... Might as well try it!.
Jaune: (Gulps) Uh, l-like I like my women...
Winter: (Scowls) Oh?
Jaune: H-Hot, bitter, and wet!
Winter: ...
Winter: Here's your coffee. "Extra bitter," like you asked. (Walks away)
Jaune: Ah... Dammit... I should've known better. This is what happens when you have no game and try your luck with a baddie.
Jaune: (Lifts mug) Huh? (Tugs paper under) OH!
Jaune: It... It actually worked?!.
Jaune: ...Y'know what? I'd fuck Velma Dinkley.
Weiss: But would she fuck you? Come now, Arc. Humble yourself.
Velma: It’s because he’s one tall cut of fuckable meat unlike your weak shapeless self.
Weiss: 😡
Jaune: 😳
Yang: *cackles* "HOLY SHIT! That shit blew up in your fuckin' face!"
Weiss: *angry* "Shut up! Shut up, Yang!"
Jaune: last night was fun right guys
(F)Ren/nora/pyrrha: yes it was jaune ~
Jaune: hmm what up
Nora: fearless leader do you now what day it is
Jaune: ummm November 1st… oh my grandpa’s birthday I need to call him I think he’s 60 now
Pyrrha: oh you may need to call him later because we need to make sure of something
Jaune: what?
Ren: well jaune some men like to do this little challenge during November
Nora: and we need to see if your doing it
Jaune: oh yeah that Neptune and sun were talking about it and we kinda all agreed to do it
Nora: hmmm we thought as much jaune-jaune
Pyrrha: and just so you know jaune… we’re sorry
Jaune: why?
Suddenly he was tossed into a bag and hauled out of his room
Jaune: *Remove from bag* where am I
Yang: well lover boy some would say heaven
Blake: others hell
He looks to see Yang dressed as a sexy angel with the skimpiest of bikinis, and Blake equally so but as a devil
Nora: but it’ll be awesome
Ren: indeed
Both dressed as slave girls
Pyrrha: so shall we begin
Ruby: yes but we need to wait for our last two participants
Ruby dressed as a sexy vampire with little bats over her breasts, while Pyrrha is in what one could call a chain mail string bikini she was the sexiest of gladiators
Jaune: what’s going on and are you guys wearing your costumes from yesterday
Yang: well sort of with some pleasurable modifications
Pyrrha: as to what’s going on jaune, let’s just say after our time with you… we just want to give you everything you’ve given to us
Suddenly the door opened revealing Glynda Goodwitch in a slutty witch costume and Weiss dressed as a depraved princess
Glynda: good Mr. Arc is here shall we start
Weiss: hmph I can’t believe you all talked me into this
Nora: what are you talking about ice queen you practically giddy the whole time we were planning this
Weiss: s-shut up
Yang: everyone yanging around and let’s get this party started
Jaune: oh what will we be doing
Everyone: you!!!!
Jaune: oh brothers help
(No)
Jaune: shit
(One day later)
Jaune:water!!!
Yang: drink up lover boy we’re not done
Jaune: aura don’t fail me ahhhhhh-
(Day 5)
Jaune: 5 days… they drained me for 5 days
Glynda: you lasted far longer than I expected jaune
Jaune: why me
Glynda: I’m fairly certain each and everyone of us had our reasons
Jaune: and they are
Glynda:…
(Flashback)
Said girls where tied to chairs in a dark room only lit by a single lamp hanging from the ceiling
Ruby: where are we
Blake: how did we get here
Ren: I can’t move
Glynda: hmm this all seems familiar
Yang: good gods they tied up my tits
Weiss: mmmph mmmph
Pyrrha: 😁
Nora: hey Pyrrha why aren’t you tied up *gasp* you did this
Pyrrha: no nora but someone else did
???: allow me my future daughter in law
A tall blond woman enters from the shadows
Glynda: juniper I knew this had to be your handy work
Juniper: now now Glyndy we have much to discuss
Flashback ends
Jaune: gods above mom
How well do you Coco could make Ren look like a girl?
Coco: Jaune, I have an important question for you!
Jaune: What's up, Coco? Hi, Ren.
Ren: Hi, Jaune.
Coco: Now then, let me pose an interesting question to you! How could you make, Ren look more like a girl?
Jaune: Simple: Just make him wear makeup.
Coco: No that's...?
Coco put her hand in her chin as she inspected, Ren's face.
Coco: Actually no, that would have worked, that would have worked very easily...! But, no! That's not how we do it!
Coco: Entirely...
Jaune: Then, how do we do it?
Coco: First off we put up a screen!
Jaune: Eh?
Suddenly, a dividing screen appears, blocking Jaune's vision.
Jaune: What, where did you...?
Coco: Next we strip them!
Jaune: Wha?
Ren: WHAT?!
Jaune suddenly sees, Ren's clothes being tossed over the divider: Down from her shoes to his dress shirt.
Jaune: Uhhh?
Coco: We apply some light make up~!
Ren: Hey, wait?!
Coco: A chop to the throat to readjust the voice~!
Ren: A what?
(Thwack!)
Ren: (Cough cough cough!) The hell, Coco?!
Jaune: D-Did his voice get higher?
Coco: And, lastly we get rid of the bindings~!
Jaune: Bindings?
Ren: Wait, no!
Jaune suddenly saw several Velcro straps flying over the divider. One particular large binding landing his hands. He looked over the binding in his hand, wondering why the hell, Ren was wearing this.
Jaune: Ren, why do you have these things...?
Coco: It's simple, Jaune! How else was he supposed to stay hidden?
Jaune: What the hell are you talking abou...?
Coco pushed the divider aside to show a, Coco with a large smug smile, and standing next to her was a brunette girl with an plump things, and a sizeable chest.
Jaune: Uhh?! W-W-W-What the hell?!! I-Is that...?! Is that you, REN?!
Coco: Ahh-Ah-Ah~! You'd be mistaken there, Jaune! May I present to you, Lie Rin~!
Jaune: R-Rin?! Ren?! No, Rin... AHH?! The hell?! Have you been a girl the whole time?!
Rin: Ahh... y-yeah... I have always been a girl... S-Surprise...?
Jaune: Why?!
Rin: N-Nora thought I was a boy, and it just sorta stuck... but then puberty hit, and I... Well, I just wrapped them up, and... yeah...
Jaune: And, you knew this, Coco?!
Coco: Yep~!
Jaune: How?!
Coco: Woman's intuition~!
Jaune: I'd call bullshit, but I have seven sisters, and a mother who have been using that line on me for years, so yeah.
Rin: I'm sorry for lying to you, Jaune... I just got used to dressing like... like, Ren that I couldn't stop.
Jaune: That's... okay? Wait, Nora obvious knows this. She has an unexpected knowledge on many, many things... It's scary what she knows about...
Rin: Quite scary...
Jaune: But does, Pyrrha know?
Rin: Yeah... I told her after that incident with the Boartusks, and those mud holes.
Jaune: Cause the three of you feel in the mud, and had a shower together?
Rin: Yeah, pretty much...
Jaune: Wait... Shower...?! You've were staring at my junk that day!
Rin: What?! N-No I wasn't!
Jaune: Bullshit! You were looking at me so long that there is no way you didn't see my four inches!
Rin: What, you're not four inches, you're at least seve...?! EEEP?!
Jaune: I fucking knew it!
Coco: Seven inches?! That explains why he refuses to wear speedos...
Jaune: That's it missy! We need to have a private chat!
Rin: Whoa hey, Jaune?!
Jaune grabbed, Rin's hand, and pulled her towards their dorm room. As they were leaving, they walked by, Nora, and Pyrrha who offered, Rin a wave as they walked by.
Nora: So, how did it go?
Coco: Quite well if I say so myself.
Pyrrha: He may be upset, but I'm sure they can work things out.
Nora: Jaune-Jaune may be angry, but they'll be able to work things out.
Coco: Considering how big he was getting, I think they can find several things to talk about~!
Pyrrha: Jaune's seven inches soft you know.
Coco: S-Soft?! Then how big is he?!
NP: Ten inches.
Coco: Holy shit...
Coco: Well, we'll know how well their chat goes, based on how much she'll be limping in the morning~!
Nora: Hehehe~1
Pyrrha: ...
Pyrrha: You want to have a go with him too, don't you, Coco?
Coco: Fuck yes I do!
Pyrrha: do you mind if we...?
Nora: Only if we all do it together...
Coco: ...
Pyrrha: ...
Coco: Fuck it, I'm game~!
Pyrrha: Oh, this is going to be fun~!
Penny: You're cheating on me! What?! Am I not good enough for you?!
Jaune: Penny this is a toaster.
Penny: *completely nude on the ground, sweating buckets* What is this hellish sensation!? Am i dying?!
Jaune: *only wearing boxers, sitting in front of a fan* That's the summer heat Penny. 36° Celsius with 94% humidity. *Look accusingly at the air conditioning* And that thing broke on us during the night. Should have known that son of a bitch looked suspicious. Only 100 Lien my ass!
Penny: *tries moving* ... I seem to be unable to move. My skin is sticking to the ground!
Jaune: *sigh* I told you to not lay naked on the ground. The sweat acts like glue.
Penny: *groan* I miss my old body. The meat suit is only pain!
Jaune: *getting pissed off at the air conditioning* Work you son of a bitch! I took the time to ask Ruby for a check up and she said you were in perfect condition! *Gets up* So why won't you *see the alimentation, unplugged* ... That can't be it.
Penny: *slowly unsticking herself* What can't be what?
Jaune: *plug the air conditioning, a nice cold breeze beginning to flow from it* ... You bitch.
Penny: *feeling the cold air, crawl next to the machine* Ah~ salvation at last!
Yang: *entering the room* Hey bitches, i heard you had an air- *sees Penny sitting naked on the ground next to an almost naked Jaune, just at the perfect height* i- *blush hard, running out* I DIDN'T MEAN TO BOTHER YOU
Jaune: ... What's wrong with her?
Penny: I do not know, friend Jaune. Maybe she prefers the heat?
Jaune ends up finding a sex toy in his bag, and despite wondering where it came from, he finds himself drawn to using it due to the lack of time he has had to get any release. But is this sex toy all that it appears?
Ruby: Oh? Jaune just sent me a text.
Yang: He just sent me one too.
Ruby: I wonder what he…?!
Yang: What the…?!
Summer:
RY: MOM?!
Ruby: Did, Mom just…?!
Yang: Jaune, just fucked our, Mom?!
Blake: …?
Blake: I think, Jaune was the one that got fucked by your mom, not the other way around.
RY: NOT HELPING?!!
Blake: Sorry…
Neo: *Just relaxing on a sofa*
Yang: That right there, is the most terrifying individual I have ever met...
Blake: You're still not over that fight you had with her?
Yang: I'm still waiting for a reason too.
Blake: Well that reason will have to wait abit longer, loon.
Yang: What, why?
Yang and Blake both look at a distance as Jaune comes walking by. Neo immediately perks up and runs behind him, jumping onto his back and hugging him tightly as the blond knight laughs at her sudden cuddle attack.
Yang: ...
Blake: See?
Yang: How can something so sociopathic, be this kind?!
Blake: Who knows, maybe she's warming up to us.
Neo then proceeds to make eye contact with the duo gals and stick her tongue out at them, while giving them the bird as well.
Blake: ...So about that reason-
Yang: *Already reloading her gauntlets* Way ahead of you.
