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#but – @jaspxr on Tumblr

a beautiful mess

@jaspxr / jaspxr.tumblr.com

jas ♡ she/her ♡ mostly CM ♡ I get a little stupid for Aaron Hotchner
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crying thinking about aaron and jack going on a disney movie night binge and finding nemo comes on and aaron gets so Sad because of the opening scene and how close to home it hits :( he quickly glances to see if jack's affected by it at all and he sees the little boy has scooted a bit closer to him so aaron nonchalantly lies down on the couch, scooping jack up and they lie on the couch and cuddle and aaron's heart Hurts when jack holds onto aaron's sleeves tightly :((

omg i just remembered the full plot of finding nemo while writing this and AH aaron doesnt like the movie as much as he used to especially when nemo gets scooped up into that little bag and he squeezes jack a bit closer to him :( jack sleeps in aaron's room that night because he had a nightmare :( it's safe to say they put that dvd to the side during their next disney night movie binge :(

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sweet boys :((( aaron never remembered how closely the story resembles him and jack, and seeing the desperation and the panic he’s felt in trying to protect jack and keep him safe reflected in this kids movie makes aaron feel so unsettled. seeing that father lose his little boy into the fisherman’s baggie makes him think of all the times he’s almost lost his teeny little boy, and he holds jack tight against his chest - tight enough that usually jack would have giggled “too squished, daddy” but the little boy who is seeing so much of himself in nemo just wants to be held by his dad so he doesn’t mind the squish at all :( jackers cuddles up to aaron in bed that night after slimming into bed with him after his nightmare and whispers “daddy, am i nemo?” and aarons heart breaks as he kisses jacks head and murmurs “no, because i’m never gonna let anyone take you or hurt you, buddy” and jack nods as he scoots in closer to his dad, squeezing the material of aarons shirt in a tight grip that only loosens as he drifts off to sleep well before aaron who will spend most of the night watching his baby boy breathe deep in sleep and remind himself that his son is safe there with him - not taken, not hurt, he’s safe and he’s snuggled up in bed snoring happily :’(

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drunk aaron 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you two are out with the team and somehow you all managed to get him to do a row of shots with you guys (you guys being: you emily derek and penelope. rossi spencer and jj just watch and laugh at you all being Dorks) and you let penelope know that you wont be drinking too much because someone would still need to drive home but to not tell aaron so he could keep drinking and letting loose and at one point you can feel him staring up at you and you turn your head and bumps noses with dopey eyed aaron, who's resting his chin on his palm looking at you with the Biggest Heart Eyes and you giggle and say "hi" and he all dreamily goes "hi💖💖💖💖" and you giggle more and ask "can i help you with something?" and he gives you a silly smile and says: "you're s'pretty, are you seeing anyone? cant believe no one's wooed you yet" and you giggle at your drunk husband, your eyes flicking up to meet the team's grinning faces at the sight of their boss all mushy hehehe you playfully pout and tell him "yeah, i am. i'm married actually." and his face Drops but then he smiles, "lucky guy, cant believe i was too late, but hope you two have a happy marriage" and you giggle and laugh again and tell him "yeah he's pretty lucky. and good thing you werent too late, because you're that lucky guy." and his eyes light up and he's like "me?! im the lucky guy??" and you laugh and nod and he has the goofiest grin on his face and he sits up to kiss you all over your face and you wrap your arms his waist to keep him upright as his kisses you all while he murmurs "i love you" over and over again into your cheeks and forehead and jaw and neck hehehehehe🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺👉👈

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hehehehe you can see his eyes getting glassier and glassier the more that he drinks and you giggle when you see his movements get choppier and sloppier every time derek buys him a shot and says “time to let loose, boss man” and you giggle watching your husband toss the shot back with a wink at you - a wink that you realize is him trying to “woo” you because he’s so gone he doesn’t even realize that you’re his wife akshskshs he leans in real close with that sugary sweet grin and you hum “well, aren’t you a flirt, agent hotchner” and when you let him in on the secret that you two are married, he snatches your left hand to inspect the ring he gave you and his eyes widen “i bought this on my fbi salary????” which makes everyone laugh and he kisses the ring before tugging you over onto his lap to kiss your cheeks and you giggle quietly, murmuring “are you ready to go home, sunshine?” and he ‘whispers’ “can we kiss some more?” and you giggle and you smooch his cheek “we can get in our jammies and cuddle to sleep. and there may be a good night kiss or two involved” which makes him grin so wide and nibble on your cheek before plopping his keys in your lap so you can take him home <33 when you do get him back to the apartment and past jessica who is literally sobbing she’s laughing so hard at how drunk he is, you help him wiggle into his jammies and he tackles you into bed because “you promised me cuddles!!” and he lays his head right on your chest and wiggles until he’s comfortably wrapped around you and then the rambling starts “you’re so comfortable, married the prettiest, most comfortable wife in the world. just wanna be right here forever” and you grin as you stroke your hand through his hair “you’re so cute, aaron” and he gasps “no!! you’re cute!!” and you giggle “okay, how about were cute together” and that makes him so so happy as he chatters away about how much he loooooves you 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

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How do you find a home in yourself? I am embarrassingly too old to be asking anyone this question, let alone a stranger on the internet. And I don't really expect an answer..but I wonder. My parents are moving out of what was my last 'childhood home' tomorrow. We moved a lot, but this place has been a home more than any other, and it has dear memories in its foundations. It also housed a lot of pain and changes, since it was a place where I realized that my life won't be as picture-perfect as I imagined it to be, and where I found out it's never going to play out the way five-year-old Jasper imagined it. But it was home, and it was a refuge I could run to when I moved away to my own place miles away. It was a constant where things didn't change and work wasn't drowning me and people weren't awful. It was suspended in time and it was the place where my mother's arms were always open, and my sofa bed was still ready and made, and it was a safe place to hide from the world when it became too much for my sensitive soul. And now it's gone.

Home isn't a place. It's a feeling and it is people. But it is also home-made food and the veggies from the garden out back. It's the smell of old wooden beams, and familiar sounds of creaking stairwells - that particular stair that wouldn't stop squeaking no matter what you did with it. It's a hole in the wall from a nail which held up your favourite painting, and it's roof windows that prevented you from sleeping whenever it rained. It's a tiny secret compartment behind my bed where I stashed a cigarette and a rose my first girl crush gave me. It is scratches on the floor where your old piano used to be. I look around my generic apartment, full of basic mismatched Ikea furniture and tchotchkes I've collected, trying to replicate that feeling of a place where love lives, where true life happens, where memories are made, and my heart overflows with sadness.

Can it be that I'm mourning my childhood again? There will be other houses. Other rooms. My parents aren't gone.

And yet.

How do you replicate that feeling once it's gone? How do you create it for yourself? How do you create it in yourself?

How do you make a home in yourself, so nobody can sell it?

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Feel

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairing: Aaron Hotchner/Latina OFC Sophie Cortes Word Count: 2,040 Tags: 18+, NSFW, Tie as restraint, Daddy kink, Dom/sub, Subdrop, Making love Summary: Aaron and Sophie try something new, and it comes with consequences. Collection: Sophie Cortes timeline, 1 year-1 year 3 Months at the BAU (See Masterlist for reading order) Link to A03 or read below! Sophie and Aaron are cleaning up the kitchen after a quick dinner, dishes loaded in the dishwasher, counters wiped down, and Aaron moves to stand behind her, hands on either side of her waist; he kisses her neck, easily accessed due to her ponytail, and she smiles, tilts her head to the side to give him more room to work.

It feels good, warm, perfect for an easy weeknight evening with the man she’s helplessly falling for, but when he moves his hands, wraps them around her arms, she feels a slow rush of heat trickle from her chest to her stomach, lower, her breathing heavy.

“I want to try something tonight,” he speaks into her skin, and she closes her eyes, licks her lips, and thinks about the possibilities.

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Me speaking German to a German

Me: Um... hast du... der... ah, fuck.
German: It's okay, friend. Learning a second language is difficult, but with enough practice and time you'll acquire the vernacular and colloquialisms to communicate in a concordant matter vis-à-vis other Germans. I myself still struggle with the endeavor of mastering the English language, ergo, I hope I have articulated myself in a proper manner.
Me:
Me:
Me: Fahrrad.
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