a beautiful mess

Sirius is dead

sounds fake but okay

Cormac Mclaggen and Hermione Granger, "I don't like you at all"

“I don’t like you at all,” Cormac said.  He glanced  down at his hands.  He’d come close to breaking a hand in the last Quidditch match, and he didn’t want to have to go to the Infirmary.  That old biddy Pomfrey always had a lecture about alcohol on the tip of her tongue.  “You’re a know-it-all, and that hair is awful, but you’ve got great tits and I’d happily shag you.”

Hermione later told Ron it was even better than the time she slapped Draco Malfoy.

from the send me a Harry Potter ship and a sentence and I’ll write the next five game.  (no more please)

For the Modern AU Prompts: Sirius and Hermione, Video games. Start however you see fit :)

“Tell me again why we are doing this?” Sirius asked, while Hermione applied a fake mustache to his face, her lips in a firm line while she tried to get it perfectly straight. He was eye level with the breasts, pushed up by her ridiculous pink dress and he couldn’t help himself but to reach out and touch the milky flesh, appreciatively.

It has the unfortunate side effect of distracting his girlfriend, making her huff and slap his hand. “Stop it or I will never get the mustache one right! Besides you are the one that chose the costume, so you shouldn’t complain. I straightened my hair, you wear the mustache.”

Sirius had chosen their costumes; if he was going to a fancy dress party with a video game theme, he was at least going to chose a video game he was familiar with. And he had thought that Hermione would make such an adorable Princess Peach. “I don’t mean the mustache, I mean the party.”

Hermione stopped for a moment. “You know that my parents have been planning this party for weeks. It’s the highlight of their year.”

He did know that, but he couldn’t help but be worried about meeting his girlfriend’s parents for the first time. He was so much older than her, and he was suddenly thinking that the retro costumes might remind them of the age difference too much. “What if they don’t like me?” He whined. “They’ll think I am too old for you.”

Hermione smiled at him, cupping his cheeks in her hands, before pressing a kiss to his nose. “It will be fine and I am sure they will like you. Plus there will be tons of other people there, so we can just avoid them if it doesn’t go well. Besides, only I can decide who is too old for me, and you aren’t Sirius.”

Placing his hands on her waist he pulled her closer, feeling slightly placated. He pressed a sensual kiss on her lips, stopping himself before it devolved into something they couldn’t finish at the moment. “Alright, put the damn mustache on.” He commanded, wondering if she would let Mario get the Princess later that night.

For the shipping thing hermione. Also Charlie Weasley

hermione is the fandom bicycle and im not immune to that so *spins wheel*

1. anthony goldstein. uptight manic pixie ravenclaw dream boy for hermione. he’d write her poetry and color coordinate her flashcards for her and they’d probably end up becoming husband and wife magical archaeologists or something which would make !!!! a great fic tbh

2. cedric diggory bc she blushed that one time he just…existed in front of her.

Hi :) What's Cullens senses of humor? I think Carlisle dry-type sense of humor and Jasper have ironic-sarcastic quite dark and Emmett some "sitcom" humor, make fun of others, but other Cullens? Esme, Alice, Rosalie, I don't think Edward sense of humor is... specific or interest.

I think Carlisle has a sort of dry sense of humor too.  I think sometimes he says things and people aren’t sure if he’s joking or not because it’s so dry. Sort of his quips like in Eclipse when he’s all “I’ve never been to veterinarian school.” I think Emmett’s antics amuse him most of the time but he tries not to show it too much (like when Emmett is teasing about E/B’s sex ilfe in BD 2 and Carlisle sort of smirks and shakes his head). Emmett’s probably the most bawdy and slap-stick humor-wise.  Probably gross-out humor too. And teasing. I think Rosalie shares the darker humor of Jasper and Edward, as well as teasing/roasting/sort of ‘mean’ comedy. She pretends she doesn’t like Emmett’s jokes and rolls her eyes but deep down she does find most of them funny. I think she does sarcasm too, like Jasper. Edward has a sort of black humor (the whole “not even the black box would survive” about Bella’s bad luck and a plane crash), and somewhat self-deprecating.Esme I think isn’t so fond of the ‘mean’ humor, prefers light-hearted things, and silly puns and plays on words. She’s like the mom who reads a joke on Facebook and shares it with everyone (except with perfect vampire memory she’ll remember it correctly and not get it wrong like my mom does haha). Sometimes she surprises everyone with a somewhat dirty joke and they’re like “omg Esme!” and Carlisle’s trying not to crack up. Alice probably has an interesting approach to humor because she knows if a joke is going to work or not before she even says it. So her sense of humor might change depending on the people she is with, because she knows what will work and what won’t.