I remember seeing a comedian (on TV) do a routine in the late 80s or early 90s where he was talking about going to buy shoes and being shown a pair that the salesperson said were the first shoes specifically designed for walking

and the routine revolved around mocking that idea, because what else would shoes be designed for ha ha!

and my pedantic teenage brain was like "protection. shoes were created to protect the feet. how can he not realize that."

and that may have been the beginning of my "if your joke can be deconstructed in one sentence maybe you need to be funnier" attitude

which I now know is probably

y'know

autism

Trying to chart out a border element from embroidery in a historical context

Accidentally created Godzilla instead

Update: Godzilla removed

Then felt bad for him.

So I made a Godzilla on purpose.

im developing cataracts in my right eye and ill be getting surgery for it on sunday so art might be paused for a bit next week ...

to help OP out for each day it is healing I will invent a new minion hybrid.

day 1: if a minion and shrek had sex that produced viable offspring

that's okay. you dont need to do that actually

officially decided that anyone who tries to divide the lgbt community is a fed. i dont care if you're not actually a fed, if you're causing infighting in a minority community then you're a fed who just isnt getting paid to be one. either apply for a job at the CIA or shut the fuck up

some people understood this post. some people revealed themselves to be feds

The only thing more pathetic than a paid fed is a chump doing a fed's job for free

Well those are allllmost done

question. why do you have 7 featureless grey monoliths in your driveway

There's eight actually but the last one is still in the garage

question. why do you have eight featureless grey monoliths

They're actually a really dark purple

question. why do you have seven featureless really dark purple monoliths in your driveway and an eighth in the garage

Some of them do have features though. There's holes and hinges and stuff, so I can put secrets in em

question. why do you have 8 really dark purple occasionally featureful monoliths

The heart wants what the heart wants

this reads like a muppet sketch

see? See!??!

You're not wrong

the lesson I'm taking away from this election is not that the Democrats need to become more left wing or more right wing but moreso that they need to find a way to cater their rhetoric towards people who genuinly have no idea what is going on. the target audience for every speech and political appearance should be someone who doesn't know what the three branches of government are because they were drawing a Cool S during high school civics

political scientists have failed to consider the possibility that the silent majority is silent because they didn't understand the question and are trying to play it cool

#is that robert reich father of sam reich game changer man

He's also the former US Secretary of Labor and served in the administrations of multiple US presidents but yes, he is the father of sam reich game changer man

#im sorry was no one gonna tell me Sam Reich Game Changer is the son of the former US Secretary of Labor#not to take away from the initial message (even though like yeah we been known)#but like that feels like information tumblr would be more forthcoming with in their praise of that show

Why do you think the dropout cast all joke about him being a nepo baby?

The reason he's the CEO of dropout is because when collegehumor was dying and the cast all wanted to keep working together and having fucking jobs, he was the only one in a mass of starving artists who could afford to buy and try to resuscitate it. That was a massive financial risk and the fact that it seems to be working is nothing short of a miracle. Everyone thank former US Secretary of Labor and general champion of worker's rights Robert Reich for raising a son with financial security.

For raising a son with financial security and a drive to get other people financial security too.

Sam is the guy that capitalists want to pretend Elon Musk is when they talk about "job creators"

the US education system is so bad i didn't learn about rasputin's 13 inch penis until i was 23

buck is where he BELONGS. fundamentally speaking. he belongs in the torment nexus with three days of stubble and a flour-dusted depression hoodie because not only is it where he needs to be but it is also where he wants to be. this is enrichment to him. he has never thrived more than when he is screaming crying throwing up and rending his garments over his stupid unfair piece of shit life. he has never looked better than when he is covered in blood and ripping out his hair and throwing his body around in desperation. he is going to kick rocks over this breakup for like 2 seconds and then realize it's not actually about stupid tommy after all, it's about BUCK and how much BUCK SUCKS. and he is going to wallow in this knowledge and stew over it and pout for days or possibly even weeks while eddie stands by and says :) and radiates joy and makes buck SICK ohhhhh he is sick. because eddie is living a happy life without him :( kicks rocks. he doesn't even need me to be happy. ugh. until buck will eventually realize that he (buck) is the only thing standing between his current torment nexus and the sunshine (eddie). and then buck will circle back to the breakup and he will say well. what went wrong there (self-reflecting) and the answer will be "i didn't know what i wanted". and then buck will say okay well what do i want. my life is a stupid unfair piece of shit life and i get covered in blood all the time and i don't have any hair left from ripping it all out in desperation. and he will look at eddie who is still saying :) and radiating joy. and he will say oh. OH. ohhhhh no. and then he will exit the torment nexus and descend directly into a pit of madness.

can’t stop thinking about canonically likes to be ridden evan buckley knowing he is bisexual for all of forty five seconds, walking into the firehouse and seeing his best friend literally bouncing up and down talking about being sexually frustrated, and saying “i wish i could help” oh i bet you do!!!

Likes to charge reblogs to FUCKING cast

Please for the love of god. You should be able to change controls WITHOUT TAKING YOUR EYES OF THE ROAD. There is no reason to have to look at a SCREEEN while DRIVING

just got fired from my government job… apparently they can control the weather with space lasers now so they don’t need me to stand on a dark tower and chant in a big bellowing voice to summon clouds and winds of fear and frost

sorry to hear that, but it's happening all over. i recently got replaced at my job of luring sailors to their death on the rocks by an iphone and a loudspeaker

That’s a bummer to hear everyone is getting hit :/ I got replaced as the ghoul shaking your pipes and creaking your floorboards at 3am by shoddy new construction that does it on its own

THE WAY SHE POSED AFTERWARDS HFKFBDK

My artistic rendition:

Explain yourself.

some people might not have seen all of them yet

i am SO glad people are explaining their choices because one of my favorite parts of what’s going on here is the huge variety of reasons and lines of thinking people are using all to arrive at the exact same answer

at this point so many of you have independently described similar personality traits for all the tetriminos that i almost feel like i could draw them as people

they are reading the comments

some wild shit going on in the notes that’s hard to pick up on if you’re not getting notifications every time someone says anything: