Self published author and lover of literature

Parties, wine and makeshift balls were all things that Meyah had assumed she’d left to rot in the past, but as the Tieflings walked into her camp carrying crates upon crates of ale, wine and whiskey, it would appear the party was only just getting started.

And it set Meyah on edge as she wandered the perimeter scratching at the scars on her neck.

Her blood ran cold as she felt everyone's eyes on her, she wasn’t used to showing such weakness in front everybody.

If it was any other ordinary day that had her mind swimming with undead memories, she would have run off into the forest until she remembered how to breathe, but this time she was trapped.

And she hated every second of it as she felt her own blood trickle from her neck and stain the collar of her white evening shirt.

She cursed under her breath and threw an empty bottle of grease into the water, uncaring of where it landed.

“Meyah?” A voice called out amidst the chaos, but she ignored it, clutching at her dagger as she tried to silence the memory.

“Fuck off,” She hissed, her voice barely a whisper as she slumped to her knees in front of the riverbank, clutching at her shirt, the tip of the dagger scraping along the base of her throat.

“My dear, as much as I would love to bend to your whim. I can smell your blood across the camp, are you alright?” Astarion questioned and kneeled cautiously next to her, taking the dagger from her hands and placing it out of harms reach.

“I... I didn’t realise it was you,” She whispered, blinking rapidly in a futile effort to keep the tears at bay, “I didn’t think about that...I’m sorry.”

“Darling, stop apologising. I am not a monster who is going to devour you whole, well, not unless you ask nicely,” he said in an effort to lighten the mood, but it fell flat, “Look at me, please.”

“I am looking at you.”

“Properly,” he said and gently caught her jaw, turning her head towards him, giving her no option but to look at him. His eyes were tender as he brushed the stray strand of hair out of her face and smiled sorrowfully, “I know what you’re doing. I have done it to myself a thousand times over in my two hundred years of existence. But Meyah, believe me when I say, what happened to you, was never your fault. Do not give him the power by doing yourself injury and disservice. You are far stronger than you give yourself credit for.”

“But he died before I could get revenge,” Meyah sobbed into her hands, utterly touched by Astarion’s words. “I can’t...I....” she tried countless time to start her sentence, and every time she failed, each word tasted like bile and burnt like Wyvern venom.

Without a moment's thought, Astarion wrapped his arms around Meyah and held her as close as physically possible. Every sob he hushed and ran his hands through her hair, the smell of her blood ached his body, but he’d be dammed if he’d betray her trust like that. Instead, he pressed a soft kiss onto the top of her head, “He will never hurt you again, I will ensure it.”

“I want to kill him, like he almost did me,” she sobbed as she clutched at his shirt and hide her face in his chest, tears streamed freely down her cheeks as the pain she felt in the past sprung into a new life and ripped through her. She wanted to scream, she wanted to run, she wanted to be free and even in the safety of Astarion’s arms, she felt hunted.

“Do you know where he is buried?” Astarion asked, there was a bitterness to his tone that verged on a terrifying level of calmness. Beneath his dramatics, his blood boiled with rage. He would see that man's head on a spike – regardless of how rotten that head would be by now – before he saw the love of his life break down in agony, again.

“Probably somewhere underneath my families castle, in fact I know exactly were.” She laughed humourlessly and looked towards the sky, “He is buried in the graveyard behind my family castle, in the grave that I should...no, I was supposed to be buried in when they found me on deaths door.”

“Well, when we get to Baldur’s gate, let's say you and I go pay him a visit. I’ll bring him back to life as many times as necessary to ensure you get your revenge.” he said and wiped and tears from her cheeks.

Her brows furrowed in confusion and new, touched tears, sprung into her eyes, “You would do that for me, why?”

“Because I...”

“I know.” she smiled softly as he struggled to say the words. But they needn't be said, it was spoken in every little thing they did for each other, “I do too. You I mean,” she chuckled and pressed her lips to his and smiled as he sighed in satisfaction,

And yet, despite the sadness that lingered in the air, their kiss seemed to brighten the world again. Ground them in pure ethereal bliss. For they were two broken souls, entwined in the night.

“Did you want a taste?” She asked awkwardly as they broke the kiss, “I know it's never easy for you, I promise I'm okay.”

“Thank you my dear, but I shall be fine for tonight. You have suffered enough, although, I think we should get you patched up before the rest of our band of weirdos think you’ve been trying to off yourself.”

“I would never actually see it through, not that I haven’t thought about it,” she sighed as he slipped his hand in hers and walked them towards his tent, determined to make things right, if only for tonight.

“You’re not the only one. Cazador has left me with more than just the scars on my back, but as long as I have you by my side, I know that I will live to see another sunrise.”

“Astarion? Can I tell you something and you don’t have to respond. Or say anything not unless

you want to.” She asked as the tent flap flopped down and gave them the much-needed privacy.

“You scare me sometimes.”

“I love you.” she blurted, unable to hold it back any longer as she threw herself into him,

wrapping her arms around him, “You never have to say it back, but I wanted you to know, in case anything went wrong tonight.”

To say he was speechless was an understatement, before he could even think a single thought,

tears sprung to his eyes and surprised smile made its home on his lips. Could it be that he finally

found his home in her, the half high elf bard barbarian with a haunted past. Perhaps he did,

perhaps he would finally allow himself to be happy, to be loved and love.

***

As the night went on, the alcohol flowed freely until almost everyone in camp was feeling a happy, satisfied buss, including Meyah as she shuffled around in her tent and emerged with a dusty old lute. One that had not been plucked in several eons.

Yet, as the ithbank wine ran through her veins, she remembered Astarion’s words, and it set her body alight with confidence. With a swagger in her step, she approached the rocks and climbed to the top of them, clapping her hands together with a dazzling smile. By the gods did she know how to attract an audience. “For one night and one night only, I give to you a song perfect for drinking to!” She beamed and steadily strummed the lute, her gaze fixed on Astation who was staring up at her starstruck and smiling.

"Alfaira, Volo, join me, if you will. 3...2...1!”

And with that, the camp burst into life with the beautiful combination of lute, drums and a beautiful voice rising above them all. Meyah’s voice. It sent Astarion’s heart racing as he listened intently, it wasn’t the first time he’d heard her sing, she often sang to him when the nightmares took over, or under her breath when she was trying to figure out a puzzle in some dungeon that they’d accidentally got lost in. But it was the first time in which that Astarion had heard her sing with such confidence and blindingly beautiful charisma that ebbed and flowed into every single lyric.

As her hair came cascading down out of her usual pony tail, it was as if a new path had been forged. Everything in her mind became clear and her heart was lighter, gone were the days of balls, false performances and pretenses, she would never be that destitute princess again, she would reign as a queen of the people, a light admist the darkness, a lighthouse calling Astarion home.

“Do you think she’s drunk?” Gale questioned as he stood next to Astarion, and watched the performance unfold, he didn’t mean his next words harshly at all, but it didn’t lessen the blow, “I didn’t think she had it in her.”

“I do beg your pardon?” Astarion questioned, a hint of annoyance in his voice as he turned to look at Gale, confused and offended.

“I just mean, she might be a bard, but I've never heard her sing before...and she has a lot more hair than...”

But before Gale could continue his ramblings Meyah jumped down from the rocks, lute in hand and strode over to them, finishing her song of love and newfound freedom. “Knock yourself out, that is if you think you can do a better job,” Meyah smiled and held out her lute for Gale to take, an air of mischief lingered around her as she watched his gaze flicker from her to the lute to Astarion and back again, “Just don’t eat it.”

“Why would I eat it?”

“Because, Gale, it is filled with an enchantment spell. How do you think I got past so many guards? I’m more than just a pretty face.” She grinned as she watched Gale take it from her gingerly and walk over to the rocks. With a wave she sent him off with a muttering of, “Have fun!”

“Okay, okay, point made. Damned elf's and your over sensitive hearing.” he muttered under his breath and trudged back up to the rocks.

Meyah, for the first time in months, felt practically alive again as she felt Astarion’s arm snake around her waist and pull her flush against him. His red eyes blown wide with a mixture of adoration, admiration and love – perfectly mirroring her own. “You are so full of surprises,” he sighed lovingly and brushed his fingers along her jaw.

“What can I say, I learned from the best!” she said softly and leant into his touch, her hands rest over his heart, smiling gently as she felt it beat almost inaudibly beneath his ribs.

“Whatever gave you that idea?”

“Oh, I don’t know, perhaps a white-haired vampire spawn with the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen and a dangerous smile that makes it hard to focus? Ring any bells?”

“Hmm, carry on,”

“Hmm, you really like flattery, don’t you? Let’s see, he has amazing strong arms that I love having around me, he has wonderful powerful fangs...and for better or worse, he has my heart.

Free to do what he wishes with it,” she smiled and ran her thumb across his lips as she met his eyes, “Could I kiss you?”

“I can think of nothing, I want more,” he purred and pressed a deep gentle kiss onto her lips, pouring everything he was scared to admit into it. His hands racked through her hair and pulled on it gently as they got lost in their embrace. Cheers from Karlach and the Tieflings rang out behind them, and for once they threw caution to the wind as Meyah wrapped her arms around

Astarion’s neck and gave him all the affectionate intimacy he craved as their lips danced lightly on each other. “You will come to my bed tonight, won’t you?” Astarion whispered as he buried his head in her neck.

“Of course, I will,” she said as she held him, her hands rubbing soft comforting circles over his back. She made a mental note of the scars, of what letters she could make out, “and just so you know, I am not expecting sex.”

“You’re not?”

“Gods no. Don’t get me wrong Astarion, sex with you is fantastic, but it isn’t everything. And it most certainly isn’t what defines us.” Meyah said as she took his head in her hands, soothing his rising anxiety as their eyes met, “I love you because of who you are, not what you had to do. I know sex is something that is a bit iffy for you at the moment, so if you want to go for a while without it, I am more than happy to do that. And if the mood does arise where you want us to give into pleasure, then I am more than willing to do that too. Your consent and your happiness are what is most important to me, not some carnal desire that if worse comes to worst, I can solve for myself.”

“Come with me,” He barely managed to say as he stood still, moved far beyond words. In his two hundred years of existence, not one singular person had asked for his consent, no one wanted to make sure that he as happy, no one cared if he felt safe...no until Meyah Athina-Rose.

“Where are we going?” She questioned as she followed him hand in hand to an opening in the woods, the very same opening in the woods that they spent their first night together.

“Here., I wanted to wait until I thought you were ready...and perhaps, I may have misjudged you to harshly when we first met. To be quite honest, I didn’t think much of you back then. But everything has changed, and I... cannot imagine my life without you in it. So, I just want you to know that I want us to be something real...” he said, his body shook with nerves as he took

Meyah’s hand in his. The party hummed quietly beneath them and Astarion’s heartbeat furiously in his ribcage, terrified of rejection, terrified that she would one day see him the way he sees himself.

But she never did, she simply smiled at him and encouraged him to continue.

“Would you want us to be something real?”

“Astarion, you have no idea of how desperately I want us to be something real.”

“So that means...”

“It means whatever you wish for it to mean, I'm with you until the very end.”

“I love you,” the words slipped his lips and he covered his mouth as if wanting to push them back in, his eyes were wide as he looked at Meyah, all his dramatics faded away as he chuckled despite himself, “I am so sorry. I was not intending to say those words...I mean I was, but not for a little while yet. But well, I suppose they are out there now. There's no point trying to force back the truth for longer than we need to.”

“I couldn’t agree more, and the scenery is quite fitting” Meyah said and wandered back over to him, and wrapped her arms around his waist, her head resting on his shoulders as his rested on her head. “Welcome to eternal love.”

“I...thank you, for everything.” He smiled and held her close.

His anxiety finally silenced.

They were finally content and above all else, save.

Or for now at least.