The Sound of Music (1965) dir. Robert Wise

You know what?

My ancestors would have wanted pasteurization, vaccines, antibiotics, disinfectants, birth control, psychiatric medications, pain management, anesthesia. My ancestors would have wanted to be able to keep their loved ones around longer, and not lose them too early/too soon to childbirths, injuries, bacterial infections, mental illnesses, and diseases that are curable and/or preventable in our modern day life.

Modern medicine saves lives.

so true

Official Wednesday post

And they look out so hard for the well being of the spiders AND the dolphins

@moss-wizard of course this isn’t how we serve it!!

It has to be in a dish with much higher sides, so when we go to cut it and it tries to sliiiiiide away it doesn’t escape and blorp blorp blorp across mom’s nice tablecloth

SLICE YOUR CANNED BOGBERRY GOO INTO DISCS BEFORE SERVING, YOU FILTHY HERETICS.

NO. IT WILL BE SERVED IN PROPER CAN SHAPE, AND WILL HAVE ITSELF SCOOPED INTO WEIRD SHAPES THE WAY THE GODS INTENDED

YOU STAY OUTTA THIS, GOD-QUEEN-EMPEROR. AND TAKE YOUR CERVID STALKERS WITH YOU.

It's supposed to be served in can shape with two discs already sliced and laying tastefully in front

I have consulted the scriptures and this is variation is still within the bounds of orthodoxy.

Mash the can shape up. We giving the table what they want, chaos in a dish, with a serving spoon.

Not to derail the escalating heresy, but what do dolphins have to do with cranberry bogs?

cranberry is served in its can shape in the can direction, not on its side but on its cylinder

Right but you guys know that ocean spray also sells like. Cranberries. Which you can use to make an actually edible cranberry sauce on the stovetop in 10 minutes of unattended cook time

actual cranberries? ew no thank you. The unprocessed chunky stuff is GROSS.

Look, in my house, we mix it with whipped cream and freeze it in a graham cracker crust for dessert!

@oft-goes-awry

what the actual fuck?

@somethinginterestingithink

Behold, my grandmother's recipe for Cranberry Surprise:

For the crust, combine 2/3 cup crushed ginger snap crumbs (put them in a large plastic bag and crumble with a rolling pin, or a mug if you don't have one) with 2 T. of sugar. Press into a 9" pie plate.

For the filling, pour a half-pint of regular whipping cream into a bowl, and beat until stiff. Mix in 2 T. of sugar and 1/2 tsp. of almond extract.

In another bowl, take a 14 oz. CHILLED can of jellied cranberry sauce and mash it with a potato masher if you've got one, or a fork if you don't. (My mom bought me a potato masher specifically so I could make this dessert at holidays without having to borrow hers.)

Once the log is goo, fold the cranberry sauce into the whipped cream mix. Yes, it's supposed to be THAT pink.

Pour the pink cream-and-cranberry mix into the crust and freeze for at least 24 hours. Cut and serve immediately upon removal from freezer.

American Horror Food is one of my favorite tumblr post types.

(I make it from real cranberries but if I decide to go with Goo Log, I mash it like the unorthodox godkiller that I am.)

I can only add that I worked in a deep freeze warehouse for a little bit when I was younger. The cranberries would come in loose around Halloween. This big machine would clean, sort, and dump them into 1000 lb wooden bins that would be forklifted and stacked to freeze in the warehouse.

One time, somebody lost control of a bin and broke it open. I would like you to picture a dozen warehouse workers slip sliding around on frozen cranberry ball bearings for hours, trying to clean them up, while you play Yakety Sax in your head. It was a nightmare.

Doesn’t everyone have a special cranberry-from-the-can serving plate and slice-cutting tool! What, are you all just living live Neanderthals?!?!

Oh my ZOD I love that

my brother is a culinary artist. one year he made some amazing cranberry sauce that nobody touched. the next year he made the same sauce, added a thickener, and set it in a ribbed can (he reused a pumpkin can iirc), and it was a hit.

we like the vague can-shaped fruit gelatin. i personally like it even more when it’s home-made.

Ah, in my house we serve this standing up on a plate, and we call it Invisible Can. It is not a holiday dinner without Invisible Can.

Things are heating up in the superlative canned goo fandom

According to some of the commentary here and there in the notes, heating up is exactly what is supposed to have happened to the canned goo before it reaches the table, causing it to transmogrify from shaped gel into fluid sauce

OK but heated cranberry jelly? I need to try this. Now to find a thanksgiving dinner to invite myself to

Y'all are not ready for my cranberry wine. No, shut up.

3 lbs of cranberries, 2 lbs sugar, 1 lb honey. 2 oranges. Zest one orange, and then juice both. Crush/blend the cranberries, add honey and sugar, add water to make a touch over one gallon. Heat not to boiling but until easily mixed. Carefully scoop off and discard any of the honey residue that forms.

Cool to 85 degrees. If you can stick a finger in and it feels just a little cool, you're good. Add orange juice and zest.

Transfer to cleaned brew bucket. Add a good dependable wine yeast (something able to tolerate rougher conditions with fewer esters is best), a tsp of pectic enzyme, and any yeast energizer/nutrients you need to per the bottle.

Mix that shit. Like put a paint mixer on the end of a drill and go to town.

Seal and lock. Leave in a good temp for the yeast (probably 68ish degrees, but check your label). Once the lock shows bubbles, carefully open the top and break up the cap on top. You should see a lot of bubbles come out. Do not stir! Just gently push the cap down so the yeast doesn't get stressed by the CO2. Reseal the brew bucket. Do this once every couple days until bubbles stop.

Transfer to secondary to finish, then bottle after a month in secondary. Let the bottles sit for 6 months.

Serve slightly chilled with citrus fruit and dark chocolate. It will be slightly tart with a very sweet undertone, and probably 12-14% alcohol. Take a bite of the chocolate, sip the wine, and then take another bite of chocolate.

You can thank me later.

anyway I'm american and have literally never had goo can cranberry sauce, it's SUPPOSED to look like this:

You serve it with a spoon.

BLASPHEMER!!!!!!!

i mean, i just had a stay at home mom who enjoyed cooking.

I'll add one to team We (I) Make It Fresh and Serve It In a Bowl (like civilized people!!!!).

@massachusetts-official they’re summoning you in the notes but I feel like you’ve already been here at least once

Get me in here yourself you coward.

Anyway, there is obviously a lot to process here. To start, Ocean Spray ran an entire social media/ad campaign about the canned vs homemade last year. So that debate is as old as time if a company is in on it. I'm not aware of any result of which "team" held majority, but I know internally most Ocean Spray employees were all for the canned goop.

As for serving, points go to @dandelion-witch for being correct. Though, I do love the canned cranberry sauce dish.

As for that one image about the bog dolphins, I can confirm there are actually no dolphins in your cranberry sauce. I cannot, however, guarantee that the sauce is 100% spider free, but they do try their damnedest

I donated today.

It's not much, but it's SOMETHING.

These are my charities/foundations of choice - reply/repost with yours and let's see if we can get some money flowing to those who need it ♥

Palestine's Children Relief Fund

Planned Parenthood

The Trevor Project

The American Civil Liberties Union

My job now is to outlive that man.

I will outlive him. I will be here when he is gone. I will be here when he has been erased. I will be here, telling stories, loving my wife, protecting my friends and family, cherishing joy and kindness and diversity. I will be here. He will not. It is only a matter of time.

any trans person reading this I love you

any woman reading this I love you

any poc minority reading this I love you

any queer person reading this I love you

Community + Running gags: Rhyming names

A friendly reminder to USians: if you are planning to vote on Election Day, your mantra is "Nothing I see today convinces me not to go vote."

Exit polls suggest DT cannot be caught? YOU STILL GO VOTE.

Exit polls suggest KH has it in the bag? YOU STILL GO VOTE.

Pundits are saying the country is swinging overwhelmingly red? YOU STILL GO VOTE.

Pundits are saying the country is swinging overwhelmingly blue? YOU STILL GO VOTE.

Polls can be misleading (intentionally or not). The methodology can be biased (or simply poor). Early results may not reflect what the full count will show. There may be a red mirage. NOTHING YOU SEE CONVINCES YOU NOT TO VOTE.

The biggest Democratic win in swing states means nothing if democrats don't turn out everywhere to keep the reliably blue states blue.

VOTE. Wear appropriate weather gear if you think you may have to stand in a line outside (coat, hat, gloves, umbrella, sunhat, whatever, you know where you live). Bring water and a snack and something to do (book, game on your phone, podcast and headphones, whatever, you know what you like). GO VOTE.

NOTHING YOU SEE ON ELECTION DAY CONVINCES YOU NOT TO VOTE.

Jester: Is it the dead woman?

Ashton: ........... no...

Me:

Ashton why was that such a long pause 😭👀😭👀 🖤💜

i have not booped half of you as well as i would have liked, and i have booped half of you half as well as you deserve.

pov you’re on tumblr for halloween: