jade-bright reblogged
Perer: I need a human skull. I will not answer any questions on why.
Stiles: I also won't accept any questions.
*pulls out three skulls out of a secret compartment on his closet*
Stiles: pick.
Malia and Jackson: Dad we're bored
Peter: *about to go out and help Talia with an omega* Go see if your brother wants to do something, or else wait until I'm back
Malia and Jackson: Stiles we're bored
Stiles: *been hanging out in Derek's room meanwhile he's at basketball practice*
Stiles: You know what? Me too
Stiles: Oh I know! Let's go find the Were that entered the territory!
#the hale family#talia has so many grey hairs#talia: peter! control your kids before someone dies!#stiles is peter's honorary son#malia tate#jackson whittemore#peter hale#derek hale#stiles stilinski#sterek#jackson is a hale#malia and jackson are twins#stiles and peter friendship#feral stiles stilinski#the hales#hale family#the hale pack#incorrect teen wolf quotes#incorrect quotes#same age stiles and derek#teen wolf au#teen wolf
Derek, texting: Hey Mom, is it cool if I go to a party tonight?
Talia, texting: Will you be drinking?
Derek: No?
Talia: Will you be doing drugs?
Derek: No...
Talia: Will you be having sex?
Derek: Maybe?
Talia: Then why are you going? Wait, better question, where are you actually going?! And who is really texting me?
----------------------------------------------
Stiles, turning to Derek while holding Derek's phone: Kochanie! She's on to you, what do you want me to say?
Derek, fighting an omega he was told to stay away from: Just tell her we're fucking and that I'll get back to her!
#sterek#in their defense the omega came to them#a werewolf and spark was gonna attract trouble#stiles was being truthful#it's a party of two#derek's gonna have to drink wolfsbane laced something#so stiles can use herbs and such to speed up his healing#and they might fuck afterwards ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#stiles stilinski#derek hale#talia hale#stiles x derek#derek x stiles#eternal sterek#incorrect teen wolf quotes#incorrect quotes#spark stiles#same age stiles and derek#teen wolf au#teen wolf
*At the zoo*
Malia: What are they in for?
Peter: This isn't a prison pup
Cora: So they can leave?
Talia: Well, no
Jackson: *pointing at a penguin* I bet that one killed someone
Peter: So Stiles kissed you?
Derek: *woefully stares out the window*
Peter: And you said 'thank you'???
Derek: *sighs*
Stiles: Derek asked me for the time today, so we’re basically married
Derek: Stiles glanced at me when I bumped into him, so he’s definitely in love with me
Both Heather/Paige: I hate single people -_-
Talia and Peter at any point in their lives
Talia: Thanks for opening my message and not responding
Peter: All good sis, anytime
Talia: Fuck you
It's a long one, my bad
Stiles: Damn, where did I put my-
Derek: What'd you lose? Was it your keys, I bet it was your keys
version 1 Version 2
Laura: Have fun on your date with Stiles later, try not to burn the whole preserve
Derek: ...I don't have a date with Stiles later
Laura: What do you mean? I just saw him in the forest with a bunch of candles
Derek: ...
Laura: ...
Both: Shit
Couldn't decide, so version 1 version 2
Laura: I just saw Stiles in the woods with candles, and I don't know if he's planning a summoning or a date with Derek
Talia: We can only wait, we don't want to jump to any conclusions
-Later-
Derek: (heading towards the door to leave) I'm going out with Stiles, I'll be back later (door closes)
Talia: (sighs in relief) thank god
jade-bright reblogged
Stiles: Fight me.
Derek standing behind him with glowing blue eyes, mouthing: Do not.
Alternatively
Derek: Fight me
Stiles standing behind him with a bat wrapped in wolfsbane and rolled up with mistletoe, mouthing: Do not.
jade-bright reblogged
Pre-pre-canon, of my au
Before Peter and Chris told anyone they were together.
Peter to Chris: Alright, I got to get home, gimme a kiss *kisses Chris on the lips*
Chris: *kisses back, unable to stop him in time*
Peter: *pulls back, eyes wide as he realized they were with their friends*
Derek’s dad (Eric): *taken aback*
Noah: *covering his face in surprise*
Peter: um... *gets a stupid idea* Noah! *kisses a horrified Noah on the lips*
Chris: *amused*
Eric:
Peter: And Eric! *kisses Eric on the lips* I gotta go *starts walking to go home*
Eric: Hold up! *laughing* I'm going home with you!
Peter: *turning soo red* Hurry up then!!
(Had to freestyle near the end. I lost the tumblr screenshot I found on pinterest with this, :( it was originally of the marauders featuring wolfstar)
Pre-pre-canon, of my au
Before Peter and Chris told anyone they were together.
Peter to Chris: Alright, I got to get home, gimme a kiss *kisses Chris on the lips*
Chris: *kisses back, unable to stop him in time*
Peter: *pulls back, eyes wide as he realized they were with their friends*
Derek’s dad (Eric): *taken aback*
Noah: *covering his face in surprise*
Peter: um... *gets a stupid idea* Noah! *kisses a horrified Noah on the lips*
Chris: *amused*
Eric:
Peter: And Eric! *kisses Eric on the lips* I gotta go *starts walking to go home*
Eric: Hold up! *laughing* I'm going home with you!
Peter: *turning soo red* Hurry up then!!
(Had to freestyle near the end. I lost the tumblr screenshot I found on pinterest with this, :( it was originally of the marauders featuring wolfstar)
jade-bright reblogged
Talia: Derek, what the hell is this?
Bby Derek, carrying Stiles piggyback: A human I found in the Preserve.
Talia: Well, go put him back, he doesn't belong to you!
Bby Stiles: Yeah, I do. He my pretty wolf.
Bby Derek: He said I could have him if he could have me.
jade-bright reblogged
Talia: Derek, what the hell is this?
Bby Derek, carrying Stiles piggyback: A human I found in the Preserve.
Talia: Well, go put him back, he doesn't belong to you!
#sterek#disaster hales#i love them your honour#bby derek passed his human behaviour classes with a C-#skrunkly lil werewolf dude#derek is a nerd and a loser (affectionate)#he hung out with one (1) person and that was his uncle#i could see wee cub derek having one friend which is of course the little stilinski weirdo#so rizzless it somehow circles around into endearing#talia has so many grey hairs#we don't want a teen wolf movie we want a hale family spinoff#incorrect teen wolf quotes#teen wolf
Stiles: Do you think your family likes me?
Derek: My uncle literally bribed you to marry me
Big brother Stiles (+Derek) with little Malia and Jackson
Stiles: Okay puppies, there are 206 bones in the human body, but! I’m gonna teach you how to dislocated someone’s body in 230 ways-
Derek: Stiles, they're kids!
Malia & Jackson:
Stiles: Oh yeah! You’re right.
*turns around for a few moments before turning back with puppets over his hands*
Stiles, in somewhat a kermit voice: Hi kids! We're going to show you how to dislocate someone's body! Let's start with the Clavicle region. Do you know where that is?
Derek: Oh my god
———*after a while*———
Peter: Wait what did you teach them?
Stiles: There are 206 bones in the human body...
Peter: Mischief! They're CHILDREN! *turns to the kids*
Peter: If you are fighting an opponent your age pups, there may be up to 270 bones in the human body. Children's bones ares still fusing together. Here is how you can use that....
#sterek#they grew up with peter treating stiles as his own kid#so they just assumed he was their older brother#stiles stilinski#derek hale#malia tate#jackson whittemore#peter hale#malia and jackson are twins#jackson is a hale#stiles and peter friendship#same age stiles and derek#the hale family#disaster hales#eternal sterek#incorrect teen wolf quotes#incorrect quotes#teen wolf au#teen wolf