We need to stop devaluing non-speaking communication.

I honestly believe that sign language should be taught in school. Non-speaking people aren't the only ones who benefit from it. Making the world a more accessible place helps all of us.

We need to stop devaluing non-speaking communication.

I honestly believe that sign language should be taught in school. Non-speaking people aren't the only ones who benefit from it. Making the world a more accessible place helps all of us.

“Part of presuming my competence includes presuming I know my own gender. I am trans. If you do not believe me, you are saying I am incapable of knowing myself well enough to know my own gender, something inherently personal." 

you don’t have to talk. it’s okay.

disabled voices are great

echolalia is great

monotone voices are great

mechanical voices are great

sign language is great

your voice is great

People easily mistake neurodivergent speech patterns and communication styles for run-of-the-mill pretentiousness.

I don’t want to get too specific right now, but a lot of people who are neurodivergent (namely autistic, but there’s lots of overlap) struggle with communication. To them, writing/typing may be far easier and more natural than speaking aloud, but it can still come off as unusually formal, overly precise, or more awkwardly structured than usual. Sometimes it’s interpreted as “pretentiousness” because it doesn’t have the same casual cadence many neurotypical writers may use.

This.

wait people consider this offensive?

Not offensive so much as irritating, I guess. It’s low-hanging fruit and easy to mock whenever people pick up on something “off” about you.

Other times, people assume that you employ formal language or “advanced” vocabulary because you’re trying too hard to sound intelligent or superior. What you intend to be clear and specific may be interpreted as condescension.

People on Tumblr: Bullying autistic people is wrong. I don’t know who would do something like this.

Also People on Tumblr:

*makes fun of users who don’t recognise fake/prank news articles*

*makes fun of users who can’t spot sarcasm in writing*

*makes fun of users with ‘cringey’ interests*

*makes fun of users who write or phrase things oddly*

*makes fun of users who treat jokes seriously*

*makes fun users who post obsessively about the same thing*

*makes fun of users for the exact same autistic traits autistic people are bullied for offline all the time*

Interestingly, if your apology language is showing insight then it actively benefits from a lot of things that are discouraged in modern social justice contexts. Like, I appreciate it if someone says to me ‘hey, I was hostile towards you because I was brought up in an awful purity-culture religious environment and I never really learned that people like you were people’. 

But I think that’s exactly the kind of behavior that often gets a reaction of “so do you want a cookie for basic human decency?” or “stop making excuses”, mostly from people whose apology-need is accepting responsibility and who read that as refusing responsibility. 

It’s not an apology, and what’s appropriate for apologies is a little different, but recently I read a touching, smart and self-reflective post by a woman exploring the horrible sexism she experienced and the way it’d made it hard for her to sympathize with men and caused her to have the habit of starting interactions with men on a confrontational footing, and how she wanted to address that. And she ended by worrying that maybe the post focused too much on her history of experiencing and being harmed by horrible misogyny, and how this might come across as justifying the habit she wanted to change instead of explaining it. And I could totally imagine someone having that complaint, but wow, I really hope they don’t, because it’s way easier to connect with people when you get why they’re making the mistakes they do and why they have the needs they do and where they’re starting from, and we’d have lost something if the start of that piece carefully avoided explaining critical pieces of the picture.

Making excuses is actually easy to fall into, and it’s harmful and unhelpful. But making yourself understood - to yourself, not just to other people - and getting where you come from and what is actually making it hard to do the right thing is so important that I’d rather err on the ‘making excuses’ side than the ‘don’t make this about you’ side. 

And if people know their apology languages then maybe they’ll have the vocabulary to communicate “I need to hear that you’re sorry, and it’s not helpful for me to hear about what caused it, because I experience that as a shift of the emotional burden” or alternately “I find it really helpful to know where you were coming from”.

I’ve noticed some common misassumptions about autistic people and verbality, so I thought I’d share some of my experiences!

If you meet me at a social occasion, I will be talkative and you will probably be surprised to know that some days I struggle with being verbal. Here’s what I might look like on a nonverbal/less verbal day

Keep reading

Anxiety attacks aren’t always hyperventilating and rocking back and forth

Anxiety attacks can take different forms, such as:

Understanding the way our or other’s anxiety works can help to decrease the stigma and help to calm a person faster and get them out of that state. These are just a few, but it gives an idea of the range in which attacks can come.

to all of the shy or quiet people out there

to the people who are too anxious to speak up

to those who are too worried about their language abilities to say something

it’s okay to read fic or look at art or watch videos and not say anything

yes, creators want to hear from people who enjoy their content, but your feelings matter too. 

it’s okay if you can’t find the words right now

it’s okay if you don’t have the energy to speak up

it’s okay if you’re overwhelmed or you’re overthinking or you’re just coming up blank

you’re still a fan. you’re still a part of the fandom. you still belong here. we still love you. ❤

to put your mind at ease: people who ramble when they get nervous are in fact cute and lovely and charming, I would not change you

what about people who go ‘uh, well, um-’ when they’re nervous?

people who stumble & stutter & use speech fillers when they’re nervous? lovely and soothing to be around. i find your speech patterns reassuring, a reminder that we must be patient with each other. i would rather wait patiently for you to find your words, than be around someone who is smooth-spoken but judgmental

I’m in a Fiction and Poetry class this semester, and on the first day, we talked about how those filler words contribute to the natural rhythms of our speech patterns! We use them to keep the rhythm going, whether we’re consciously aware of it or not. So don’t be ashamed if you stutter or stumble–that’s just your natural rhythm, and it’s beautiful!

Tumblr interaction and entitlement

Recently, I didn’t reply to someone who had messaged me on Tumblr and this person reacted by blocking me, so that when I found time to answer the message, I had typed up my reply, and, obviously, couldn’t send it. I thought, well, that’s kind of a petty response to someone not answering right away (never mind that it would be sometimes days or weeks before I answer people’s messages on other forums, and they would be cool with it). I thought about this, and I thought about mentioning it, and the reason I’ve decided to talk about it is because it goes back to perceptions about interaction with others that we all need to be mindful of.

If someone sends me a message that I don’t answer right away or don’t answer at all it’s because:

But, what all this really comes down to is this: no one is entitled to my attention. Message me by all means, but no one has an automatic right to my time or my emotional reassurance, even if I’ve provided it before. I’m a nice person: I like to talk to people and be reassuring and positive, but I am not a bottomless well of understanding and reassurance. I’m someone who needs time to process my own feelings and replenish my own stock of positivity, particularly when I’m upset about something. We are all entitled to make ourselves available to anyone or no one as we see fit.

So, anyone who feels like they’re entitled to my time or yours, and who gets petty or upset when they don’t get it, is not someone I or you need in our lives anyway. Respect yourself and your emotions and your time, and forget about anyone who can’t accept that.

Hmm…

Full offense but we should NOT be having to explain every. other. week. why autistic people might find it hurtful when you say “ew people who lack the ability to expand their horizons into a broad range of interests and be able to make original, engaging conversations about many different subjects suck so much, they need to just ~develop social skills~”

I want people to stop thinking that alternative methods of communication are subpar to speaking

I want people to stop treating signed languages, writing and various technology as stepping-stones to “speaking properly”

I want people to stop treating people who can’t speak verbally like they’re less intelligent for their inability to use speech

I want more emphasis in disability circles to be put on the general ability to communicate rather than just the ability to speak words

communication ability > speaking ability

including pictures:

- PECS ( picture exchange communication system ) is real meaningful communication.

- drawing, even “ just ” stick People drawing, is also real meaningful communication.

words are not the only good way of communicating.

Two things to remember:

1. Just because an autistic person may not be able to speak, doesn't mean they're incapable of thought of communication

2. Autistic people who can speak can still have moments of going non-verbal, especially after meltdowns and shutdowns