i am autistic. please do not try to change me

i am autistic. please embrace who i am

i am proud of who i am

i am proud of how far ive come

i am proud to be autistic

Yes, it's important to care for each other emotionally. However, it can be just as important to let someone deal with their own unhappiness, especially if that discontent is because you exist as a nonbinary person. 

In the end a person's problems are their own responsibility, and sacrificing your well-being in a hopeless attempt to placate them is a poor use of time.

It is not your duty to make sure everyone is always happy, and it's not your fault if sometimes everything you try isn't enough.

Don’t believe those who say otherwise: you are enough. You are enough right here, right now. And you deserve better than people who constantly make you feel you’ll never be good enough for them.

About ten years ago I decided that the next step I needed to take in my life was to accept and explore what it meant to be a failure and to have failed. This infuriated almost everybody in my life and clearly terrified a lot of people. People do not want you to accept failure. They dont want you to like… Sit with and think about it and pick it up and turn it arpund in your hands and really examine it. They want you to keep throwing yourself against the impossible walls until your body explodes! They do not want you to say “alright then, I’ve failed. What does that mean for me? Im still here. What does the life of someone who has failed look like?”

This makes people very angry and panicky.

My mental health improved in ways it had not in the previous DECADE once I stopped. And. Sat. With failure. And thought about what my failure … Was. And looked at the structures that produced it and examined them critically.

It is so taboo to fail and admit it openly and talk about it. It is so taboo to talk about or think about failure in an accepting way rather than hiding it shamefully until you experience a degree of success in some area which allows you to present the past failure as “a stepping stone” to your current situation. Fuck that. We are put in positions of guaranteed failure by society every day and then punished and shamed for it. Lets fucking talk about failure

— Unknown

Things that are NOT selfish:

Self-care is NOT selfish.

Putting yourself first is NOT selfish.

Doing what makes you happy even though someone does not approve it is NOT selfish.

Respecting your own time is NOT selfish.

Ending a toxic relationship is NOT selfish.

Saying “no” is NOT selfish.

Having some time for yourself is NOT selfish.

Not being able to help someone is NOT selfish.

Spending money on yourself is NOT selfish.

Setting boundaries is NOT selfish.

You are NOT selfish for doing what’s best for you. It’s actually a healthy thing to do. You are amazing and doing good things for yourself will never be something bad.

Social media self-care includes blocking people who post negative comments about your favorite fictional characters. It’s not petty, it’s not uncalled for, it’s called “I engage with this content to feel better about myself and it makes me feel bad to see this character I identify with called all sorts of bad names.”

You really don’t have to have a reason to block people beyond “seeing their content makes me feel bad and I’m not here to feel bad, I am here to have fun.”

The biggest thing we get wrong about the internet is this idea that blocking someone is a sign of weakness or irrationality.

Sometimes you just don’t like someone’s content and don’t want to interact with them, and that’s fine.

It’s okay to let yourself be autistic. It’s okay to let yourself avoid eye contact, and stim, and seclude yourself to recharge. Don’t push yourself into burnout to please allistics.

Social media self-care includes blocking people who post negative comments about your favorite fictional characters. It’s not petty, it’s not uncalled for, it’s called “I engage with this content to feel better about myself and it makes me feel bad to see this character I identify with called all sorts of bad names.”

You really don’t have to have a reason to block people beyond “seeing their content makes me feel bad and I’m not here to feel bad, I am here to have fun.”

The biggest thing we get wrong about the internet is this idea that blocking someone is a sign of weakness or irrationality.

Sometimes you just don’t like someone’s content and don’t want to interact with them, and that’s fine.

Social media self-care includes blocking people who post negative comments about your favorite fictional characters. It’s not petty, it’s not uncalled for, it’s called “I engage with this content to feel better about myself and it makes me feel bad to see this character I identify with called all sorts of bad names.”

You really don’t have to have a reason to block people beyond “seeing their content makes me feel bad and I’m not here to feel bad, I am here to have fun.”

The biggest thing we get wrong about the internet is this idea that blocking someone is a sign of weakness or irrationality.

Sometimes you just don’t like someone’s content and don’t want to interact with them, and that’s fine.

You don't ever need to prove your worth or your value to anyone else. Ever. No matter how they feel about you, your worth, your strength, the things you've survived, your beauty, your courage, what you bring to people's lives, those things remain unchanged.

Your worth cannot even be proven by anything you might be inclined to do to prove it. It is immeasurable. They either see that or they don't. Either way, you don't have time to waste or energy to spare to prove it to them. It exists whether or not they see it.

You are allowed to have boundaries even if that hurts someone else.

Whether those boundaries are about being hugged or touched in any way, spending time with someone, trying to help someone or any variety of things, you are allowed to say “no, this isn’t for me.”

You don’t have to sacrifice your well-being for someone else.

It's far more important whether you're happy and having fun than whether random people think what you're doing is cool.

If you're mentally ill, chronically ill or otherwise disabled, do yourself a favor and consciously work to dismantle the "if you're too sick to go to work you're also too sick to be on the computer" mindset which got drilled into most of us during childhood. You don't have to deny yourself joy. You don't have to directly or indirectly punish yourself for not being able to do certain things. It doesn't help anyone. All it does is make you even more miserable than you have to be. So make sure you don't punish yourself for being sick. Make sure you don't subconsciously sabotage yourself with the idea that you have to be punished for not being abled. Make sure you embrace the joy you can find instead of denying yourself out of unnecessary guilt.

you don’t have to force a positive mindset on yourself 24/7. while it’s good to keep things like self love and self care in mind, it’s okay to let yourself feel sad or hurt over things. it’s okay to take time to grieve or reflect. your emotions are not your enemy and they don’t need to be suppressed constantly. remember it’s okay to feel.

Social media self-care includes blocking people who post negative comments about your favorite fictional characters. It’s not petty, it’s not uncalled for, it’s called “I engage with this content to feel better about myself and it makes me feel bad to see this character I identify with called all sorts of bad names.”

You really don’t have to have a reason to block people beyond “seeing their content makes me feel bad and I’m not here to feel bad, I am here to have fun.”

The biggest thing we get wrong about the internet is this idea that blocking someone is a sign of weakness or irrationality.

Sometimes you just don’t like someone’s content and don’t want to interact with them, and that’s fine.