It’s really so much easier to communicate with your neurdivergent friends when you understand there is no “standard” to neurodivergence. All the time when people find out I have autism, they seem like they want to sort of argue about it. “But you don’t [insert well-known behavior]!”
Usually, they don’t even mean anything by it. They’re just surprised I don’t fit their image of what having autism looks like, and they don’t know how to be polite about it.
Sometimes, they even have the BEST intentions, going out of their way to avoid things they assume I won’t enjoy because of what they think being autistic means, but they end up excluding me from things I’m perfectly capable of doing and in fact love to do!
Instead of making assumptions about your friend’s physical, emotional, social, etc. limits based on your perception of their lived experiences, or even based on your experience with someone else with the same diagnosis, just ask them!
When my coworker found out I have autism, she said “oh! My friend with autism can’t really recognize sarcasm. Everything is very literal to him, so I try to be super straightforward with him. Is that something I should do for you too?”
And I said “nope! You can be as sarcastic as you want with me, I’ll know it!”
And she said great, and we moved on.
If you have doubts about the comfort zone of your friend with autism, don’t decide for us! Don’t assume! Just be polite and ask :^) !!
An excellent point! Asking is always the most polite thing to do 😊