I always hate it when people are all “so do you go to school, or are you working, or” and I either have to

So my therapist was like, “You don’t have to do either. You can just say you haven’t worked in a while because you’re recovering from an illness.”

I tried it when the home inspector was here today, and it fucking worked. He was like, “oh, I’m sorry, are you doing better now,” and I’m like yeah, and don’t worry, it’s not contagious, awkward laugh, and we moved on.

MY THERAPIST. IS A GENIUS. Because it is an illness, so it’s not a lie to say that, and it’s also none of his business to know specifically what it is, and I clearly don’t want to give more details, so we should move on from this topic. MY THERAPIST IS A GODDAMN GENIUS.

Dude I needed this. I never know what to say when people ask if I work because I’m severely disabled and don’t work.

REBLOG TO SAVE A LIFE HOLY SHIT

To add, this works on job interviews too.  I once had to answer the ‘so whats up with this gap of 8 months in your resume where you were unemployed?” and I just said I had suffered an illness and I needed time to recover.

It’s easy enough, not a lie, and puts them on edge enough that they usually don’t go digging.

Never forget, if someone asks you an invasive question, you can always reply by asking them "do you think that's a normal thing to ask people?"

Do it in a super casual and cheery tone, like you were asking about their favourite food.

This is something you can, and actually SHOULD do, with a small change: Keep your tone neutral when you ask this, because in my experience, you get one of two responses:

-People who KNEW they were being rude will know you've caught them at it and will mumble excuses and shut up. You've shown them that behavior won't be rewarded, which is what really stops them, and hopefully they'll make better choices in the future. - but you will get some people who do genuinely think that that WAS a normal question to ask because THEY get asked that by their mom/boss/other authority figure asks them things like that all the time??? This person is being taken advantage of and needs help. You then explain, as gently as you can, "No. That's actually really personal and sensitive information most people don't talk about because X*, and it's extremely inappropriate of Authority Figure Z to ask that. You, and everyone else deserve privacy and information security." they'll go "oh. I didn't know that." or some close variation, and then you tell them "no harm, no foul, and I'm glad you know now." and then change the topic. You probably won't get a landmark "oh my god I had no idea I'm reevaluating my entire life" moment, but just hearing that "No, that's not normal and not okay" is enough to get the ball rolling in the right direction to protect themselves.

*X is here to explain generally why Privacy and information security is important. For instance, if they're asking questions about health and finance, you can explain that that's legally protected information to prevent fraud and in order to keep it safe, it HAS to stay secret.

you are not obligated to share details about the bad things you’ve been through. choosing not to share does not mean you’re alone.

there are people who will support you, even if they don’t know your whole story. there are people who still love you and want to keep you safe.

For some strange reason there are people who believe that they have a right to see your diagnosis to prove you're not self-diagnosed.

1. Self-diagnosis is valid.

2. No one has a right to see your diagnosis if they're not your doctor.

Please trust that the disabled people you meet are already doing everything they can to manage their diagnosis! Don’t try to come up with solutions and suggestions we didn’t ask for - cause it’s honestly disrespectful to assume that we haven’t already considered whatever you can come up with on the spot without actually knowing the details of our situation.

Your acceptance of people who are “weird” or don’t follow social norms should not be conditional on them disclosing neurodivergence. 

an autistic person deserves just as much privacy as a non autistic person does

[ID: Is this a pigeon meme format. Butterfly is replaced with “Disabled people’s entire medical history”. Man replaced with “Non disabled people”. Man is asking “Is this my business?”]

Do not ask chronic pain patients how much pain medication they take. It is none of your business. It is exhausting and scary enough for us to make our medication last as long as we do, don’t ask us to give you a number that you have ZERO context for.

Your acceptance of people who are “weird” or don’t follow social norms should not be conditional on them disclosing neurodivergence. 

hey the “it’s ok this person is doing [weird but harmless behavior] bc they’re autistic” attitude isn’t actually helpful. The behavior itself needs to be destigmatized regardless of who’s doing it.

I’m autistic, and:

There’s an easy solution: destigmatize weird but harmless behavior, period. People who speak, act, walk, or otherwise behave in a way you find unusual are still people (whose diagnoses are none of your business btw), and we deserve to exist in the world without you judging or punishing us. Choose your battles wisely, because I see a lot of you attacking people who are already walking wounded.

TLDR stop being a judgemental asshole and the world will be a slightly nicer place. mind your own business and let people be weird.

ko-fi

autism problem #1117

when people think you owe them a detailed dissection of how your brain works and an explanation of every little thing you do because apparently they need to understand you so they can help you but they shouldn’t need you to forfeit your privacy and develop superpowers of articulation in order for them to treat you like a person and respect your abilities and inabilities and preferences and quirks and needs

person: you can't be autistic. i would know. you're just a little awkward ahaha

me: oh, that's fantastic news! i guess i just imagined all my symptoms.

them: uh...

me: i mean seriously, i didn't know you were an expert. where'd you get your degree?

them: i--

me: tell me, where'd you study my disorder?

them: well, i--

me: oh, you didn't? then i guess you don't really know what you're talking about. so stfu (: