No offence but I feel like some people got a little too comfortable with telling people to touch grass and swung all the way round to just straight up shaming anyone who might have a less active social life than them to feel better about themselves. “She should be at the club” was a really funny meme until people started acting like fucking middle school bullies towards people who don’t go out with their friends a lot. All those drinking/drugs/sex milestone polls were fun to engage with until it became a wierd circlejerk making fun of people who haven’t done those things before. People on twitter are once again dogpiling someone for wanting queer social spaces that don’t revolve around alcohol or loud music and telling them it’s their own fault for not having friends.
Like I get that nightclubs and sex have strong ties to queer culture and are often the first targets in the hellscape of respectability politics. It’s important we remember our roots and protect these spaces from conservative scrutiny. I mean that. They are important. But just on a surface level it seems like people are starting to see having an inactive social life as some kind of moral failing which…it’s not. I feel like an insane person for feeling like I have to say this on the fucking queer autism website but like. You aren’t inherently a bad person if you don’t have friends. You aren’t “falling behind” if you haven’t had your first kiss in your 20s or never done drugs. The real world isn’t a movie. And if you see someone who doesn’t go out much and instinctually think “wow what a terminally online loser. I bet their social life sucks because they’re a sheltered creep and not because of systemic barriers beyond their control” you need to have a long hard look at why you feel that way.
There are very real barriers that prevent isolated people from finding community and connection. Do you think you’re superior for being able to breach them? Time, money, sobriety, accessibility, none of those factors were a problem for you, so it shouldn’t be for them, right? Right?
This is never going to be the popular opinion but it will always be the correct one
And that's not even getting into the discussion around covid protections and the way that nobody gives a shit anymore. I had to get into a screaming match with someone in a union meeting to even get them to CONSIDER basic safety measures like masks and an air purifier. The local pride center told me they refuse to require covid safety measures because "Ron DeSantis said we can't require masks anymore," as if that shouldn't be a call to action instead of apathy. As if they couldn't have made Pride 2023 a "mask up for safety" protest instead of yet another a glorified vendor fair with cops and Wells Fargo booths.
How am I supposed to have healthy social outlets and connections when nobody is even willing to wear a mask?
Why am I supposed to throw caution to the winds and go to the club in a plague if I want to maintain a social life?
Sigh.