I only lied about being a thief, I don't do that anymore.

I love learning about the gay firefighters solely third hand from my dash I hope I never see one minute of this actual show because it would ruin it. They all look identical and I’m not sure how many of them are actually involved at this point. All of their names are Brad. I’m happy for whatever occurred for them tonight.

"i cant watch shows about fantasy kingdoms without thinking about how they should be abolishing the monarchy" that my friend sounds like a skill issue

if im watching the lord of the rings extended edition i am a monarchist for 682 minutes

What’s truffle butter?

I’ve never related to something as much and felt as personally offended at the same time.