I only lied about being a thief, I don't do that anymore.

gay people can never break up normally it's always gotta be some shit like "dann, lieber christian, möchte ich nicht mehr, dass du meinem kabinett angehörst"

THE BIGGEST HOPE FOR GERMANY IS A GUY THAT SOFT LAUNCHED HIS CHANCELLOR CANDIDATURE WITH A TAYLOR SWIFT LIKE PEARL BRACELET SAYING "KANZLER (CHANCELLOR) ERA"

Trying to get your exes attention like

Olaf jetzt Dönerpreisbremse

Olaf jetzt 9€-Ticket wiedereinführen

Olaf jetzt Tempolimit durchsetzen

Olaf jetzt AfD-Verbotsantrag stellen

i’m cryinggggggg

Okay alright sorry for all the sudden German politics influx but lemme explain what happened so far and why Germans are losing it a bit:

The tldr? Our government is getting a divorce and it's turning messy with elections being called early and now being called even earlier.

The longer version?

Okay so, groundwork first:

in Germany there is a coalition currently in power called the Ampel(traffic lights) bc the colours of the party are red, yellow and green (or not anymore or for much longer??). They're centrist slightly more left leaning than right leaning. (You could argue about that I am aware). There has been infighting for as long as this coalition has been going on. It is also the first three party coalition since y know, the Last Time.

So. Enough groundwork. The yellow party (FDP) has a finance minister (Christiane Lindner) it's this guy

You will see him in memes I am sure. We don't like him. He's an asshole and has blocked every meaningful change that the coalition had been trying to accomplish. He also got his finance plan blocked by our highest court because parts were against our Constitution.

(.... I am oversimplifying hard here it's actually more complicated than that and not fully his fault, but it's also not the focus)

What WAS the fault though of him and the FDP was that they had a strong position of "saving money at all costs" which made bigger and bigger rifts with the two other coalition partners who were more leaftleaning. The war in Ukraine, Infrastructure, climate change - there were many places that needed more money and Lidner was like naaahhhhh for no fucking reason other than "oh we need to save money!!"

Long story short there have been arguing all the fucking time and therefore have started to lose approval. Drastically lose approval. As on for the first time since the Last Time there is a far right party in charge for part of the country that is also being investigated for being Nazis. (Oversimplifying again).

Which is. Worrying. You know. Especially with Trump now being elected. It has us all a little skittish.

The finance minister has also now been fired.

You see. We were all still trying to stomach Trump winning the US election, when Scholz, in the same fucking evening, fired Lindner.

And not in a polite way. Nah. Olaf fucking Scholz our Chancellor, notorious for saying literally nothing, and with a running joke that he regularly stops existing bc that man Does Not Take Stances, a spine of wet cardboard, delivered this yesterday evening:

(English subtitles by me you already got this far watch it I spent too much time on this lol)

And it is insane alright. For his standards and German politic standards thats the equivalent of calling Lindner a egomaniacal bitch that has only his self interest at heart and can not be trusted.

Lindner and his party have been pulverised in all recent elections. Which means that after he was fired, the FDP completely withdrew from the coalition and all minister from the FDP resigned.

....well all but one who apparently stayed in his positions because he's leaving the FDP over this. What sort of shitty backstabbing kindergarten fight is this. (Jokes aside hes the minister of transportation and says he needs to stay in office in important projects. Which. True. Having minister resigning en mass is not good)

Alright cool cool cool cool. Current situation yesterday is the following:

So. Trump is president. Fuck.

Lindner got fired! Yaaay!

Wait my goverment is now also falling apart! Fuck.

Which all lead to new elections being called in Germany.

Mind you, that's not usual ok. I know other countries have systems where they can call an election whenever but that is not a thing that normally happens here. We have a schedule alright. (Insert obligatory "Germans and their plans and structure" joke)

So new elections are called for spring, nearly a year early. Cool cool cool. With a right wing rising in Germany and deeply unpopular current leadership. On the eve of motherfucking trump getting elected.

Habeck, leader of the green party and one of the few policians in germany I think is vaguely liked by ppl (the general attitude in German politics is less "I like this guy" and more "you are the least shitty choice I guess") has appearently also nearly started crying after the news broke. So. Yeah.

Now. Let's make this shitshow complete,alright?

There is this party. CDU. They had been in charge for a very long time in Germany. Centrist, right leaning, with the afd on the rising even more right leaning than before. Their current leader is Friedrich Merz, as unpleasant as human beings can go.

He has now called for the new election to be not in a few months but like. To be called next week.

In the current climate.

So yeah. if you're German mutuals and friends are currently going through their own stages of grief - this is why.

it's also worse knowing 1. the last time an spd grand coalition broke apart it basically set the course for the end of weimar's democracy and the nazis rise to power

and 2. volker wissing is now the minister of the ministerium of justice (as the former justice minister was an fdp guy who resigned). volker wissing is not a great guy either and afaik also fucked up our tax money with some transport project (though i might be mixing him up with someone else there)

also lindner's delusional ass already said he'd like to be the candidate for the fdp again and could imagine himself becoming the finance minister again like he didn't just get fired, the guy is fucking delusional

the only good thing currently is the way lindner's humiliation was livestreamed + the hilarious backstabbing of wissing, since now the fdp didn't even manage a collective walkout

also in regards to habeck looking he's close to tears this is a good example, wobbly voice, constantly blinking, etc. i don't pity him too much but yeah, great future perspective for germany if the vice-chancellor is actually about to cry

English: we call it sinusitis because it's Latin :)

German: we call it Nasennebenhöhlenentzündung because the Höhlen neben your Nase are entzündet.

English: we call it diarrhea because it's Ancient Greek :)

German: we call it Durchfall because everything just falls durch

English: we call it herniated disc because it's a type of hernia, a word that is Greek :)

German: we call it Bandscheibenvorfall because the Bandscheibe had a Vorfall

Happy German Unity Day / Tag der Deutschen Einheit

Aua

Hfkfktkflnrkdnanff

Happy 08/15 everyone!

Correction: Average 08/15 everyone!

Aus Protest AfD zu wählen, weil die aktuelle Politik nicht gefällt, ist wie im Club aus der Toilette zu trinken, weil das Bier nicht schmeckt.

Voting for the AfD in protest because you don't like the current policy is like drinking out of the toilet in a club because the beer doesn't taste good.

(seen in Hamburg, July 2024)

Definitely not cursed mug that shakes your hand and compliments you in German.

Mit Dir trink’ ich am liebsten! Prost mein Schatz!

(“I prefer to drink with you! Cheers my darling!” According to the iPhone translation option)

what am i being advertised here exactly

Dude, how can it be that every single fucking thing about US politics trends on here immediately, yet when 27 countries in the EU vote and there's a historic, alarming lurch to the right (far right parties have won the elections in Italy, Austria and France), it's not even trending? In Germany, the AFD, a right-wing populist, anti-democratic, racist party with a wing that is officially extremist (read: Nazis) and is in parts monitored by the office for the protection of the constitution, is the second strongest party (also among 17-24 year olds!). Guess I'll die.