New URL!

I changed it to "Iwillbringhealthandhealing."

This is inspired by Jeremiah 33:6 - "Behold, I will bring it health and healing; I will heal them and reveal to them the abundance of peace and truth."

I am fortunate enough that I found a medication that works, and I wanted a URL that reflected that.

This was my early Christmas present, and it was the best one that I could have ever received.

Merry Christmas to all, and happy holidays to all!

I'm starting to get scared.

Today, I got up early (for a college weekend), did homework for a couple of hours, cleaned everything, and went to see my friends' choir concert. I was chatting with some after, and talking about this new treatment. As we were talking, I mentioned that I'm starting to notice that I feel real happiness more and am faking happiness less. This is one of the things that is making my think that my pain is less than it was 2 months ago, because it's hard to be happy when your joints hurt so much. This is a good thing.

Then, less than 3 hours later, I was hit by a major pain spike, which got me thinking.

With any luck, my pain is constantly slowly being reduced. This is great!

But I'm still going to struggle with pain, I'm still going to have bad days, and I'm most likely never going to be in remission.

So, basically, what's going to happen is I will be happy, working full time, living a wonderful life, thankful for everything. Then, I will be struck down by a crippling, horrific pain.

The scary part, though? That pain will probably be less than I'm in right now. I'll be living a life with my pain a lovely, low 4/10. Then, I'll get a spike or I'll wake up one morning and it will be an 8/10.

Going from 4 to an 8 will be a frighteningly large jump. But my pain currently is a 7.5 on my very best day. 

And I will experience the full shock of how much pain I've been living in since my pain started getting wicked bad (not due to orthopedic stuff) approximately 2 years ago. 

And that is what scares me. That shock. That jump. 

Once my pain starts reducing, my pain tolerance will reduce, as well. And what used to be considered a good day will count as a bad one. And what used to make me soar with happiness because it's low will have me limping with my head down because it's high.

This disease is debilitating in so many more ways than you would think.

Family Mottos

Mum's side (the Irish folk): Wisdom is Lord and Master

Daddy's side (the Scots-Irish folk): Yes, push on

Aka,

Be smart and obey intelligence

Keep on keepin' on

ow. ow. ow.

Dear Campbells,

Thanks for putting wheat and dairy in your soup. I was hoping to just get a very bland soup because I'm so nauseous, but I guess pain works, too.

Hatefully yours,

Kate