Kaaaaaate can I have some internet mom love pls my boyfriend is being an abusive asshole to me but everytime I tell my mom what he's doing (it's all verbal/emotional, we haven't actually seen each other on weeks) she just says "I think you're being too sensitive" or "you're overreacting" and I'm insecure and anxious AF 😅
First of all, I'm so sorry you're dealing with that. Regardless of what anyone else thinks, if you're not happy, that's not good.
Second, I don't know if I can tell you what you should do but I will try to be helpful.
In regards to your mom's reaction, everyone is different. It may be that the things you're telling her wouldn't actually bother her if it was happening to her. It may be that what she considers abusive is just different and so she doesn't understand what's wrong. Hopefully, she's not just being inconsiderate.
And I know that no one wants to be alone but if you are genuinely unhappy in your relationship there is no reason it should stay that way. You don't have to have a boyfriend. Especially, if you are feeling purposely mistreated.
In regards to being insecure and anxious, I totally understand. I still deal with that and I've been with my husband for a decade. Just keep in mind that your bf can not be the thing that fixes you. That's a you process.
Now, you have 3 options as far as I can see:
1) Talk with your bf about how you're feeling. (I know this can cause anxiety) Find out what his love language is and make sure you know yours. (Not kidding, knowing that is a game changer, google it if you're unfamiliar. Take the test, maybe even more than once, don't just guess.) It could be that he is saying things to you that you find abusive and he has no idea because he wasn't meaning to be hurtful.
2) Break up and move on with no resolution or attempt at conversation. Some people aren't worth a discussion. Sometimes you know pretty well how a person is or isn't going to handle being open about a topic. Especially, if that person is defensive in the first place.
3) "Deal with it" and stay with him. Some people consider compromise and enduring to be the same thing. I think there is a difference, but I can't tell you what you feel. I am a huge advocate for compromise because no two people are going to be the same on every subject and I think there has to be some give from both parties. But if he isn't willing to compromise at all that might be a sign in and of itself. (Also compromising doesn't mean that by having a conversation and expressing your needs and wants that you will get it all)
I hope this was helpful and at least put you at ease in some way. I'm always here to chat if you want to keep me updated or just drop by.
All the hugs from me, dear!!
