No Matter What - Loki x Reader
I was inspired by @tom-hiddleston-imagines and want to make sure they get all the credit for this short fic. It was one of those moments when I was scrolling through my Tumblr feed and the story hit me like a ton of bricks. I had to write it. I enjoyed every second of this process and want no credit for the original inspiration. It’s so important to me that I feel like I need to repeat it. This was not my imagine. Please go check out their blog and follow them, you won’t be disappointed!
Original Imagine: Imagine Loki coming back from fighting the Frost Giants, you notice he is acting weird so you go ask him if everything is alright. He says everything’s fine but you know he lying so you try and find out for yourself. @tom-hiddleston-imagines
NOTES/WARNINGS Lots of fluff in the end but nothing as far as warnings go. :)
You had just received the news of Thor’s banishment, a devastating blow to the royal family. Frigga held her composure in public but you could see the broken heart she hid in her eyes. Odin sat on his throne with a hardened face, making sure to remind everyone that he does not spare even his own children from punishment.
Frigga walked away from Odin and made her way to you. You had been standing behind a pillar, a safe distance from the small crowd that had gathered in the throne room. You curtsied when she was only a few feet from you.
“All Mother,” You greeted. “I am so sorry for your loss.”
“Thor will return to us, in time, you mustn’t doubt that.” She gave you a sad smile. “(Y/N) have you seen Loki?” She asked placing her hands on your shoulders.
“No, your grace, I have not.” You looked down and avoided her gaze. You had gone to look for him when the warriors three and Lady Sif had returned from Jotunheim, but he had secreted himself away.
“Please, go and find him,” She pleaded. “He adores you and cherishes your company. I’m sure he is as wounded by his brother’s banishment as we are. Go, comfort him.” She gently pushed you away, not giving you the opportunity to respond.
You left the great hall and sighed as the grand doors shut behind you. Where would Loki be? Earlier, you checked his room, the library and even the gardens. There was one other place that he had spoken about, he only mentioned it once but with places to look running out, you decided to give it a try.
You and Loki had been close for a few years, but it was only recently that he asked you to be his, exclusively. You, of course, couldn’t have been happier and quickly agreed. When you two were out in public he kept a respectable distance from you. Displaying no affection other than smirk and a witty comment, he refused to distort his “God of Mischief” reputation. But in the evenings, when the two of you were alone and there were no other eyes on you, he was a completely different person. He was delicate and kind and did everything he could to make you happy. And you were.
However, as Thor’s coronation approached, you seemed to only see the Loki who was distant. Even in the evenings he would be distracted and his mind always seemed to be elsewhere.
‘I’m sorry, love.’ He had said. ‘I have a lot on my mind. It will all be clear soon.’
The night he spoke those words you didn’t sleep, it had shaken you to the core and now Thor was banished. You didn’t want to acknowledge the thought but it forced its way to the front of your mind. Was Loki responsible for Thor’s banishment? It was a long walk to where you were going and that was the only thing you were able to think about as you hurried to the core of the palace.
You practically ran down the steps to the vault and were met by two guards, who stood firmly in front of the door.
“Is he in there?” You spoke, almost out of breath.
“He isn’t to be disturbed.” One of the guards said with his eyes straight forward.
“I am under orders of the All Mother, herself, to speak with him. By not allowing me to see him you are, indirectly, disobeying the queen.” You stood firm and tightened your jaw. If they didn’t open the door willingly, you were going to tear it from its hinges. Your abilities were weaker than Loki’s but he had given you enough lessons that you had a few tricks up your sleeves.
With out looking at each other, the guards reached over and gripped the door handles. They opened the golden doors just enough for you to slip through. It was quiet in the sealed room and the sound of the doors closing behind you made you jump.
“I am not to be disturbed.” His voice was loud but broken. Loki lacked the confidence he usually coated himself with. He stood, with his back to you, at the bottom of the stone steps.
Your voice startled him and he whipped around to look up at you. “Forgive me, I-I didn’t know it was you.”
There he was, the gentle Loki you loved so much. “Have you been here the whole time? I have been looking for you since you returned.”
“Yes, I…needed to think.” He turned away from you.
You slowly descended the stairs and stood behind him. You wrapped your arms around his waist and rested your cheek on his back. You were relieved to hear his heart beat and feel his ribs move with a heavy sigh. Being so close to each other put both of you at ease.
“I was worried about you.” You whispered. “What happened today?”
“Thor…” Loki paused and you could feel him tense up again. He moved away from you as he continued. “He took us to Jotunheim. Odin intervened after the fight broke out.”
“A fight?” You asked, shocked.
“He was determined to fight them.”
“Thor!” He shouted at you making you flinch. Your Loki was gone again, taken from you by impatience and distractions.
“You shouldn’t have been there.” You reprimanded. You refused to let his outburst shake you.
“You think I don’t know this? You think I didn’t try to stop him?” His brows pulled down in anger and he took a few heavy steps your direction. “He’s always been reckless and now it’s finally caught up to him!” The corner of his lip twitched up into a smile for the lesser part of a second but you caught it.
“Finally?” You huffed. “Loki, what is bothering you? Specifically. You haven’t been yourself lately.”
“Myself!” He scoffed and turned his back on you again. “I don’t know anything about myself.” He whispered under his breath.
You sighed and stood behind him. “Loki, please talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.”
He stiffened. “It’s just the banishment,” He lied. “I blame myself.”
You knew he was lying, you always did. But pressing the subject would just produce more lies. You would have to find the truth another way.
“I’m sorry,” You feigned sincerity. It was easy since he wasn’t looking at you. “I know loosing your brother is hard and I can’t imagine what you are feeling. I’ll leave you to your thoughts.” You turned to leave but before you could take a step, his long fingers were gently wrapped around your arm.
“Forgive me,” He spoke softly to the back of your head. “I shouldn’t have shouted at you.”
You turned and gave him a soft smile. “I understand.”
He rubbed his thumb on your arm and pulled you in close. “You know that I love you, don’t you?” He placed a kiss on your forehead and squeezed your arm carefully.
“Of course.” You smiled weakly up at him.
“Go,” He grinned. “I’ll be up shortly.”
“I love you, Loki. No matter what.” You reminded. The words seemed to burn him and he gave a wounded smile. He faced the ancient relics of the vault, leaving you at the stairs.
You cloaked yourself in invisibility and silence. You wouldn’t be able to stay this way for long but, hopefully it would be long enough. You followed Loki down the short path that lead up to the Casket. You watched in disbelief as Loki placed his hands on the ancient Jotun relic and he began to change. A blue frost crawled up his arms and spread across his face, his skin became scarred and his eyes were now red.
Odin’s voice made you jump but Loki remained calm, as if he knew his father would come. You stood at the end of the hall as Loki and Odin spoke and then eventually shouted at each other. You wanted the truth about Loki and now you got it. You were ashamed with yourself, this conversation wasn’t meant for you but here you were hiding in the shadows and stealing pieces of the private moment.
Odin crumbled onto the steps as Loki spit is last words at him. You listened to Loki cry out for the guards and back away from the King who lay limp on the stone steps. The guards didn’t pay any attention to the Jotun prince and he was eventually left alone in the vault again.
You relaxed and allowed yourself to be seen and heard again.
“Loki,” You spoke quietly. He turned slowly to you and looked directly at you. Seeing him look at you with tears in his eyes felt as if you had been run through with a sword. The both of you stood in silence for a few moments.
“So you heard everything, I imagine.” He exhaled as a tear broke from the pool in his eyes and ran plummeted down his cheek.
“I did.” You fought the tears that threatened to gather and slowly walked towards him.
“You had no right.” He whispered.
“I know.” You wrapped your arms around his waist and rested your head against his chest.
“Well, now you know what I am.” He didn’t return your embrace but he didn’t deny you either.
“How can you stand it?” He grimaced above you, preparing for the rejection he assumed you would give him.
“No matter what, Loki Laufeyson.”
