It's funny that Yuri is the reason to keep the Forger marriage, when every chapter he appears is to ask them to divorce.

SxF ···Chapter 35 · Honey trap. Part. 1

Warning: This contains content from the manga)

Since I've been a follower of the SxF manga I think no chapter has caused me as much emotional conflict as this chapter did. In particular, it's one of the arcs that focuses on "Twiyor" and their relationship.

Previously

Although, the conflict of this arc revolved around the stability that the "agreement" that exists between Loid (Twilight) and Yor, in their false family, and how they responds to a third person who tries to attack, and replace (Nightfall)

We know that prior to this chapter, it was about Fiona, the agent, whose code name is "Nightfall". She wants to marry Twilight, her colleague and mentor. Which led to an internal conflict in Yor, and a tennis match. And though, the agent thought it would be a good idea to challenge Mother Forger to a tennis match, where it ended in a humiliating loss. This did not reassure Yor in the least, questioning her entire role within the family as a mother, but above all a wife. Which brings us to the beginning of the chapter...

From the surface, we know that Fiona's arrival caused both Twilight and Yor to question the stability of their arrangement. Which is the "current" basis of their relationship and the Forger family

Yor began to question her place in the family, and above all, that she could be fired in her role as a mother and displaced by someone more competent (according to her insecurities) having to return to her old life.

While Twilight weighed in if Yor felt insecure about her role. She could out of nowhere resign, or talk to her brother (a police officer) and report him for "apparent" infidelity.

Now, I would like to address Yoru's analysis first before Twilight.

I think if we look at Yor's relationships, prior to the Forger family. The most important and significant has been with his brother Yuri. Who has been her reason to get ahead and be a murderer. Other than that, Yor hasn't had any friendships or romantic relationships (Maybe after chapter 64, this will change).

But, it is evident that Yor has never felt threatened that Yuri would stop loving her. Mainly because Yuri has depended on her, and everything Yuri does is for Yor. To the extent that he eats the toxic foods that she prepared and thinks that it is the best thing in the world!

As far as this is surely, it is the first time that Yor feels that someone can take "her place". Experiencing "jealousy" for the first time.

Now, we could say that for both her (and Twilight), the root of this emotional turbulence is a product of the agreement that she and Loid have. And that this could end at any moment.

However, advancing this arc we can see that there is more to the background (on the part of both) and that their relationship is unbalanced in a way that both are unaware of.

I find it very curious that Fiona never explicitly said that she was in love with Loid in front of Yor. Yes, she made an effort to sow doubts through negative comments, to the point of inventing lies that made her feel that Loid spoke ill of her behind her back. But this is not necessarily, it is reason to think that she is in love

And although, this deduction is somewhat exaggerated and hasty. Likewise, Yor was right! So really, when it comes to feelings, Yor is very intuitive.

I mention that, because Yor is not exactly a "genius of deduction". She is usually very naive. But for her to realize that Fiona's intentions are romantic towards Loid (Twilight), it's impressive! Not even Twilight has figured it out.

Anya: Chi-chi is very clueless.

Here is when we see that Yor's biggest problem is not "her cover" to continue being an assassin. Yor really feels bad at the idea that Loid has romantic feelings for other women, that he sees a more beautiful and that they can help him with household activities (which she mistakenly believes is not good)

This makes more sense with their first meeting. It makes me believe that Yor thought that the only reasons Loid was with her was: "because he is a kind person who doesn't judge her" and "because she was willing to pretend to be anya's mom" and because he confessed "seeing her beautifull" (And well, she's not wrong. These are the reasons why the deal happened in the first place)

But, we see that Yor is able to put Loid's happiness above her own, and to her own benefit. She really thought that she should give up and make way for Fiona, for Loid to "find love", and that loving someone genuinely trumps any deal for profit.

However, the poor woman is not able to be honest with her or with Loid, so she ends up turning to the worst adviser - Liquor.

But what did Yor say?

When the liquor gives her the strength to express herself, Yor didn't talk about the deal, or if Loid was sabotaging their social facades.

She was making a genuine mate claim. Expressing that "she feels bad that she is not as beautiful", or "as good a wife as she would like to be"

I think Yor clearly has romantic feelings for Loid (Twilight), but she's not clear enough to understand them. She feels that all her conflict arises from the respect and affection she feels for him, and although the first arcs she says that everything is motivated by "her work". It is clear that she really wants to be better for him, not just to fulfill an expectation, a role or be on the same level. Loid (Twilight) is someone very important to Yor!

To begin with, he has been someone who valued her sacrifice despite the fact that he has no idea of ​​Yor's true profession, recognizes her efforts, and does not expect anything more from her than to be happy with herself.

It's natural that Yor feels so much appreciation, and above all, she herself recognizes how hard Loid tries to be a great father to Anya.

However, it is clear that her feelings are no longer just platonic. But genuinely, she feels attracted to him

And although it seems that Yor likes Loid. But deep down, what has really won her over is the more sincere facets of Twilight. When he has opened his heart to her and has also confessed to his intimate aspects of his life. And although many of these speeches are disguised by lies, behind them there is honesty.

Yor may not understand the value in this chapter that Loid (Twiligth) talks about his mother, or that he has confessed how lonely his life has been. Since she doesn't know Twilight's past and his true profession.

Although, Yor is much more sincere with her emotions and has been able to recognize that what she feels for her family is authentic love and that each one of them really has a place in her heart. Her problem is that she is still not able to differentiate that the feelings for Loid (Twilight) are not only out of love for life that they both simulate, but that she is really in love with him. She's not ready to deal with a relationship yet, though.

She still feels a lot of insecurities about herself, and this turns into panic attacks every time there is a very hasty approach, causing them to react with violence (caused by alcohol).

Although she has feelings for him, she is not ready to deal with them. That's why I like that the Cruise Arc and Chapter 64 has focused on Yoru's development. In learning to deal with their fears and not to overestimate them so much, since "not knowing what to do is normal". And perhaps, this will prepare her in the future to have a relationship

In my opinion…

I think it is clear that their relationship has become more intimate with the chapters. But clearly, both have a lot of trouble understanding their true feelings for each other, to the point of being oblivious to the fact that what they feel goes beyond "simple friendship"

In Yor's personal case, she still needs to learn to trust herself. She is honest enough already, to recognize that the Forger family is something "important" that she wants to protect. But she still does not have enough certainty and security to recognize and accept feelings for Loid (Twilight)

In part, it may be that all her fears lie with her job as an assassin, and the idea that one day, she will receive an injury or something that she cannot justify, must eventually abandon them....or simply, if her family knew, they would reject her

She just knows that she wants to be with her family indefinitely, and although the Forger Family is always at risk of ending up. She will give her all to protect them

But, it is also associated with her insecurities as a woman.

Yor still doesn't know what she really wants regarding her relationship with Loid. She really believes that she is someone "so small", that she does not deserve the attention and affection of anyone, and thinks that Loid surpasses her in every aspect. Not to mention, she doesn't seem to recognize how beautiful she is!

So many insecurities make her nervous, trapped in a whirlpool of absurd concerns. That causes her strength to react as a defense mechanism, and ends up sending her husband flying.

I am sure that if Yor learns to trust herself, and understands that "experience" is not a determinant in life to be happy or not. And so she can learn to accept the affection and recognition of others. And that will lead her to accept their respective feelings for Loid (Twilight) without having to hit him every time they get close (I hope she makes it before Twilight ends up in the hospital with his whole body covered in bandages like a mummy) XD

I hope that in the future, Yoru can accept her feelings and above all that she is determined to fight for them, and not belittle herself. And realizing that she can really love Twilight and he can love her (as long as this is sincere, of course)

Note: Although, it makes me very, very, very happy that she kicked him. As long as their affection is based on lies and deception, I'd rather she beat him up. Especially when he is the one who deliberately wants to manipulate her.

What do you think about it?

You can read the second part here

Small theories #1

I really hope this isn't a foreshadow

Twice Twilight almost lost his eyes in his childhood and in his teens. Endo, I hope this is a mere coincidence and a way to continue. This man has already lost too much