i have a hill to die on real quick

phrases like “you don’t owe anyone anything” and “relationships aren’t transactional” have the power to be used in ways that are very backwards and harmful

for example, no you don’t owe anyone anything in that if some creep is trying to get with you, you can block him without feeling bad. you don’t owe kindness to people who are transphobic or racist or bigoted.

but, you can’t use this as an excuse to fuck over people who have helped you. “you don’t owe anyone anything” isn’t an excuse to allow yourself to forget compassion and basic empathy, it isn’t an excuse for you to be an asshole just because you find it easier to be one

relationships aren’t transactional in that if your partner does something nice for you, you are indebted to them. they do these things because they love you; it is their choice to express love through these gestures

but they are transactional in that you both actively need to be putting time and care into the relationship. ignoring the dynamic of one person caring too much (and putting in excessive (emotional an literal) work and labor) while the other does nothing isn’t healthy. one person can’t solely take and the other person can’t solely give- that’s dangerous, and you can’t put the bandaid of “this isn’t transactional” over a relationship that is draining you in all capacities

i’m tired of seeing these things being misconstrued and used as an excuse to hurt people, while framing it as a way of taking care of yourself

THIS IS IMPORTANT

singing both parts of “Promiscuous” by Nelly Furtado 

Me walking around my house drunk

I can’t DO April Fool’s, cuz my ass will just sincerely take you at face value 99% of the time because who am I to say you’re making that up or not?? I don’t know your life. 

I was at a restaurant once and asked for a Nutella milkshake and hes like “oh we’re out of that” and I, being someone who doesn’t want to make their lives difficult was like “oh okay, chocolate milkshake” and he said they were out of that, so when i was like “Alright… water is fine then” he said they were out of water and it was only then that I began to process that he was PROBABLY fucking with me. 

No one can joke with me - at any time of the year - in public because I’ll just stare blankly as I am attempting to process and figure out the best way to respond but it will be JUST long enough to make YOU uncomfortable and think I’m an idiot. 

My roommates husband told me he left their 3-year-old daughter in my basement but it was okay because he left her with a bag of food and blocked the door so she couldn’t come up. I was quiet for the rest of the day and didn’t go downstairs... to this day everyone is blown away by my gullibility

When you thought you’d both decided it was time for a water break by he decided it’s time for you to bottom

My roommate’s 3-year-old just yelled at me FROM THE BASEMENT, “WHAT ARE YOU GIGGLING ABOUT”

B Y E

Casting Jason Mamoa as Aquaman has been nothing short absolutely genius.

My roommate looks almost identical to Jason Mamoa...