Well I called the police three times and ended up half a mile away from my house with no shoes talking with a really nice elderly couple and two squad cars worth of policemen
#when it comes down to it if you really need help the policemen and women are mostly good people i think#blue people are people too :/#anyway i thought somebody had set up a bomb next to my elementary school#he was WAAAAAAY coked out#he didnt know who he was#he didnt know where he was or where he was going or where hed come from#he had a Stoner Brony wallet with the satan star on a my little pony#kept going into peoples yards gated or not and looking at their houses and leaving things behind#my roommate was freaked the fuck out#sj#never say never#sacred texts#what the actual fuck#im screaming#this just happened#after a quarter a mile of following him i said hey dude can i help you find something#he said without hesitation yeah im lookin for a seahorse#the 911 operator said i made her laugh today and she was thankful#i said okay well where did you leave it#he said oh they die at birth#so i didnt know where to take THAT one#god this whole encounter was just the john mulaney clip of him saying NOW WE CANT UNPACK ALL THAT but for a solid hour#we cant unpack ALL of that. but#he got dangerously close to two schools#he said i looked sharp and i was like what do you mean#he said he was still learning how to talk right#and that was his way of saying im a king#he gave me a crumpled napkin and said its my crown#i said why did you leave a skull and a bunch of crap in my front yard#and he knelt down and bowed to me and said see i knew you would be king