Just Be You

no offence but video game propaganda is inherently homophobic

These are literally indistinguishable from actual posts on this site if you take away the url

I literally thought I was about to read a discourse post

“Hello and welcome to my Tumblr. Here you probably won’t find any basic info about me like my name or what I usually like to do, but you absolutely will find all my deepest darkest secrets and emotions along with my body measurements”

the wise man at the nudist beach, when discovered by an acquaintance, covers not his dick but his face

i feel like diogenes fucking ghostwrote that last bit

Tumblr culture is seeing an info post then seeing it a day later debunked and then seeing it a day later with the debunk debunked and then the next day the

from what i’ve seen wlw tumblr is like a group of girls at a sleepover talking about how pretty girls are and how much they want girlfriends meanwhile over here in mlm tumblr it’s like a national geographic special about twinks competing for mates

I’m the boss binch of sapiosexual tumblr and over here we smokin wet and speedreading ancient Egyptian texts and scrolls

Excuse me

u ever talk to someone and wish you could be like, “god i totally understand where you’re coming from, and yes this DOES suck a lot, but your shift leader at panda express is not like, a member of the capitalist class, he’s just some dude who’s worked at panda express for a while, and him telling the manager and the manager firing you for your third no-call no-show doesn’t make him like, your oppressor, he’s just some dude who probably has nothing to look forward to in life except like, his biweekly board game nights with the same friends he’s had since high school, and you should be able to relate to that because you also have never left the town you grew up in, which is FINE, i’m just saying like, you shouldn’t key Dan’s shitty 2003 mini cooper, he doesn’t own capital, if anything you should be mad at the MANAGER, but even then i don’t know if he counts as a member of the capitalist class either, so like, find another panda express, there is no dearth of panda expresses around here, and it doesn’t even have to be panda express, i think panera pays a lil better”

u good?

I’M fine, but i know some folks who are not

This is literally 90% of tumblr, oh my GOD

This s the antithesis of getting news from tumblr dot com

Стриптиз от Туктамышевой

I heard about 20 girls in the crowd have a lesbian awakening around 2:40…

Me drunk in my living room at 2am on a Tuesday after Swiffering the hardwoods

 I’m afraid of Americans

This is super real.

Completely accurate.

@pre-successful America exposed. 

It’s hilarious watching non-Americans react to this with fear because I read it just nodding along like “yes, in fact this is How Things Are, there you go”

If you ask an American how they are and they respond “Super.” that means they want to die

ACCURATE

If they say they’re peachy it means they’re tired of existence

If they say “Living the dream,” it means “please kill me, I hate my job so, so much.”

also “that’s a great question” means “I have no freaking idea”

if asked “how are things going?” and they reply “its going” it means theyre in the middle of a mental breakdown

NONE OF THIS IS EVEN REMOTELY WRONG

im gay and i won’t let any of you forget it good night

i look in the mirror, i lose my mind a little, i cry on public transport, i walk through a fluorescent supermarket, i have slow and confusing dreams at night. you know how it is

Me when the cashier says “how are you”

a man: hey

me: that’s enough

Notice how there’s no OP?

God sent this post down herself

This entire segment was gold. From start to finish.

The animosity. The grace.

This shit was genuinely like a super villains monologue, down to the shoe just barely missing her even though she didn’t dodge at all

Lmaoo fabulous!!

this is how mad I wanna make people

Me driving through all of my town’s conservtive neighborhoods with rainbow flags cascading off of every surface of my car:

There’s a tornado warning out (two, technically), so of course I went for a walk outside to see if I could spot it.  Never have I seen so many of my neighbors at one time, when there wasn’t a firework show or a picnic.

This week there was a massive explosion in my neighborhood and I have never, ever seen so many neighbors out does pure the fact that we were all standing in and breathing thick smoke and the threat of a possible second explosion was possible.