the funniest and most tragic moment in steven universe is the scene that implies that Pearl pulls bitches like a professional dog walker but doesn't know how phones work so her place on earth is being a life-changing futch fling for every dyke on the east coast there's probably a gay bar in maryland where they talk about the twiggy bird chick that eats milf pussy like it's the last edible thing on earth and they dont even know about the city full of thousand year old neon lesbian amazons who are pent up 24/7 from The War and leaving room for jesus cause they're always hanging out with their softboy nephew who might be the second coming of christ

i dont consider myself a 'fashion guru' by any means but one thing i will say is guys you dont need to know the specific brand an item you like is - you need to know what the item is called. very rarely does a brand matter, but knowing that pair of pants is called 'cargo' vs 'boot cut' or the names of dress styles is going to help you find clothes you like WAAAYYYY faster than brand shopping

this also goes for aesthetic or -core titles. 'y2k tank top' is going to get you resellers and fast fashion brands advertising to people looking to meet a current trend. 'thin strap crop tank top' is going to get you a diverse group of results and not upcharge you to hell and back

additionally, shop second hand when you can, second hand and thrift sites typically organize clothes by the cut and color. theyll be more affordable than a depop seller curating you a style to sell you

useful terminology for different kinds of clothing shapes :)

I want to tell a story to the artists and would-be artists out there.

When I was 19, I made a large oil painting of the nerd I would eventually marry. I poured all my attention and care into this painting. It's the only art I have from back then that still holds up as a work I'm proud of today.

I entered it into a judged show at the local art center. It got an honorable mention. I went to see the show with my beloved model. One of the judges came up to talk to me, and highlighted that all the judges really liked the painting. It would have placed, except, you see, the feet were incorrect. They were too wide and short, and if I just studied a bit more anatomy-

I called over my future wife, and asked her to take off her shoe. Being already very used to humoring me, she did. The judge looked at her very short, very wide little foot. Exactly as I'd lovingly rendered it. I would never edit her appearance in any way.

The judge looked me in the eye, and to his credit, he really looked like he meant it when he said "Oh I'm so sorry."

Anyways the moral of the story is that all of those anatomy books that teach you proportions are either showing you averages, or a very specific idea of an idealized body. Actual bodies are much more varied than that.

So don't forget to draw from observation, and remember that humans aren't mass produced mannequins. Delight in our variation. Because it's supposed to be there.

Allright if 20,000 people are going to post a story about a painting I did of my wife, then I am going to post the painting itself.

For those calling for justice, the same painting won a contest at my college (my university professor had met my model), and the university bought it from me and hung it up there for over a decade, square little feet and all. Then, the library underwent renovations and a librarian I am thankful for forever went through heroic measures to track me down again even though I'd gotten married and changed my name, and offered it back to me. And now it hangs in our house even though my wife doesn't ordinarily want to look at paintings of herself and I don't normally want to look at paintings I made. We both have a soft spot for this one.

MY ULTIMATE CREATION

We’re coming close to ten years on this puppy

*slowly reaches for the popcorn*

My adoration of Home Alone 1&2 probably goes some way towards explaining why I keep watching the Saw movies.

The musical version of Scrooge starring Albert Finney. He will always be my favorite Ebenezer, and that film is so nostalgic for me.

listen I know that you love your robot boyfriend and I'm sure that he's great but his disregard for aftercare is raising some serious red flags for me

you deserve better than a guy who nuts and bolts

goobers :3

when i was a kid we only had windows 95 and we had to sharpen the points of our mouse cursors with pocket knives to make them precise enough to click things reliably

A little bit of Muth for the soul! Got commissioned this in the Hatchetfield Gooncave discord server. Commission for @daisyybellls !

This ship is quite adorable ngl, I think they would match eachother's freak.

hey pal, take it easy! you're scrolling with way too much intensity. look at this horse

i hate people who know chess. “i’m moving my rook to c2” okay man. i’m driving down I-65

i hate people who know highways. “i’m heading south on I-65” okay man. i’m moving my rook to c2

List of Hatchetfield characters who are trans (according to Me)

happy 15 year anniversary to the youtube upload of 'me and my dick'!!

Dave Strider pls where are you

RICHIE!!! ARGH I LUV HIM!!!🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵