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It's just disappointing to see that even abroad the Filipino crab mentality prevails, that instead of banding together and being happy for their fellows they still try to pull others down, throw them under a bus so to speak, for their own advancement. What's even worse is when people from other races notice it, and wonder why. I don't condone racism, or any sort of discrimination, just that compared to what we do, somehow they don't seem as bad.

Yeah, I get what you mean. Thank you for clarifying! It’s just — I’m really very, very wary of placing all the blame for this behavior pattern on ourselves as Filipinos. Not that we aren’t accountable for our actions, but I believe that the way we treat each other is something that has its roots in a history that has gone mostly unconfronted and that continues to pervade our society and the brokenness of our institutions. We’re quick to judge each other, quick to put down — we’ve inculcated in ourselves a sort of self-hate for how we perceive ourselves to be, you know… corrupt and pathetic and miserable and poor and so much worse than our neighbors — when so much of that is still history’s scars, from colonialism and dictatorship and war. When so much of crab mentality, I feel, stems deep down from a reaction to scarcity, the fear that comes when you think that happiness and safety and satisfaction are limited resources and a person’s success means less chances for your own advancement. When for over three hundred years we have learned to hate ourselves and assimilate into imposed structures of power that have tried to destroy all resistance to their rule; when our society has been ordered in such a way as to maintain and encourage inequality and division; when what is taught us from childhood is full of self-hate and lies (did you get those parts too where it’s very heavily implied that certain regions are more “savage” and “uncivilized” than others?); when we police ourselves, demanding that our kapatid meet certain standards of Filipino-ness, of success, of being “enough”. (Like: the worst critics of Filipino artists are Filipinos as well! I have noticed this tendency in myself — it’s an ugly habit.) It’s an old familiar pattern of oppression: in the end, the oppressed blame themselves for their own scars. So many of us have learned well how to hate our own skin.

And— I know that some people will say, that’s in the past, it shouldn’t matter. Yet it still does. I wish it didn’t, but it does, because the main way we have dealt with the past is to forget it and pretend we have “moved on”. Pretty much the best guarantee that the past will continue to haunt a people. Heh.

A lot of my non-Filipino friends have noticed this too, and asked me about it. I’m always hard-pressed to respond. I don’t think this answer to you is at all coherent, even! Haha, I’m really sorry about that. It’s so complicated and I’m not very good at putting it into words. But— yeah. I wish we were quicker to forgive ourselves, were more inclined towards solidarity and support. But I understand that there are reasons why we’re not, that go deeper than us simply being innately awful and selfish human beings.

I still don’t think it’s worse than racism (which is very much tied up in imperialism and… yeah) — but I do get what you mean in that part, too. To me it feels more like a betrayal when it comes from a fellow Filipino. I guess what can be done is to keep persistently trying to decolonize the mind, to love oneself, to forge one’s own identity. And to forgive. Which is harder than it seems, but I think very necessary. :)

All the best to you, kapatid! (Also, please let me know if you wanted me to answer privately, and I’ll take this down and just send it to you as a message. I pressed ‘Publish’ prematurely, agh Tumblr why!)