Triggered by a conversation between mutuals that I wasn't able to partake in because I read it when it was already over but it still left me with a feeling of wanting to talk.

Many of my recent issues with this series and some of the characters in it come from coming to terms with the fact that people like me were never the intended demographic for it and thus many of my expectations and beliefs are unrealistic. I'm very much aware that every person who ever reads a text will understand it differently based on their experiences and emotions, we can see the most clear examples of it when it comes to the eternal debates on whether Jeyne & Sansa really bullied Arya or whether Catelyn's treatment of Jon should be considered abuse, but at least in my case the projection is based more on political situations that have strongly affected me and my loved ones and that are difficult to talk about in the open without feeling like my concerns are exaggerated and are also ruining other people's fun.

This is a fun series that has given my solace written by a white usan democrat who writes orientalist tropes and gives no real personality to any of his fully-canon-not-up-to-interpretation characters of colour and uses a half assed excuse to not have any of the main characters be a not-up-to-interpretation character of colour.

An example that is lighthearted and makes me chuckle could be my perception of the Vale. To me Mya Stone wears heavy colourful ponchos while Myranda wears a sanq'apa, Domeric Bolton played not only the harp but also the charango, maté is a common drink, and at least some of Sweetrobyn's lacking health comes from soroche. None of this is contradictory to the canon but I know that if I were to meet grrm and tell him of these concepts, he would probably think I'm on crack but would smile in false sympathy while Liiiiiiindaaaaaaaaa (and some readers, fans and tumblerinas) would just straight up tell me to go read something from my shithole country instead of tarnishing the beautiful and perfect European-based world of ice and fire./sar

And I am aware that the ironborn are perceived by most and are somewhat intended to be perceived as pseudo-historic "vikings but in the late Middle Ages" but I read these books when I was 12 and still thought that vikings were just a Hollywood invention, like the orange filter they put on Latin America or white saviours.

With this long introduction here are some random headcanons regarding ironborn lore and culture that aren't contradictory to canon but would probably clash against the more common fandom-built conceptions (many of which I do not like), sometimes accompanied by explanations and reasoning, often sentimental or based on personal experiences.

I have been enabled so here are a few more:

Balon Greyjoy is salt wife coded

still stand by my Theon|Aeron - Ramsay|Euron - Jeyne|Falia - Kyra|Urri beliefs

Small thing about sea bitch that came to mind and I have to search about later but I need to know when they started building her and who was the one who ordered it because it’s said that she has an arrowhead shaped ram and based on how Theon speaks of her it doesn’t seem like he had a saying in her production and if Asha (or if I’m very delusional Balon) ever got a letter that let them know of his prowess at archery and ordered that ram I don’t know what I’ll do.

One of my stupid little creation history theories is that GRRM had some sort of wildly different plan for Theon's mom which he scrapped because

1) Mellario and Alannys both are to me laughably obviously cases of 'theres no room for another player in this dysfunctional dynamic nor for any safe and loving figure, but ugh the amount of moms killed in childbirth is getting ridiculous so more or less exiled and more or less unstable it is'. One wonders if that was the plan from the start though given that he committed himself to Alannys being alive much earlier in the game when he might still have chosen to idk, kill her off and keep Brienne's mom instead assuming thats the reasoning

2) Only with her sister, no Rodrik mentioned, in fact the ACOK appendix mentions a lord Harlaw but does not say what the relation with Alannys is... Wonder if Gwynesse was supposed to be the figure that would be a supporting important-ish character but GRRM then chose to make it Rodrik bc he felt it wouldn't be realistic for Asha to have the support of an intellectual aunt with serious influence, in light of her power struggles against sexism... To this I say boooo

3) even if (as we can interpret her words in light of what the situation shown in AFFC is, seriously girl why) Asha Is doing some concealing of her mother's state to Theon for pride/shame/pettiness of wanting to test if Theon will spontaneously go visit her etc, this is kind of a wild extent to take it to. I'm sure admitting she has some grief for her two dead children wouldn't be outlandish and revealing. I don't know if GRRM was here implying she doesn't and thus suggesting her also being a player of the Greyjoy little circus of horror VS an ex safe and loving figure, but that would have been so interesting to me :(

Dream AU: F! Theon as Ned Stark's bride and all the possibilities

So, this started as a dream but now is a post and maybe it'll be a bunch of fanfics. I don't promise anything. I'll be calling Theon as Thea during this post so it's understood I'm talking about him as a girl, sorry if it's confusing.

Everything under the cut.

A while ago I made a Theon Greyjoy poll, trying to understand certain fanon tendencies that were new to me because I had been gone from this fandom for about seven years, and some of the answers were really helpful and informative, others were more hostile, but it was an overall fun experience and I am very grateful to those who participated without being passive-aggressive on the tags.

Now, because I am a curious idiot, I have a survey! It's anonymous, rather long and allows you to be as vague or explicit with your answers as you want to be. You are welcome to ramble and give me your most unhinged unfiltered takes. You can skip as many questions as you want, you can answer with key points or jokes, and I promise no answer will be quoted in the future without consent (which you can grant or deny at the end of the survey).

I understand how these things can be boring for some people or how they might take time because the questions are very open, so it will be up till the 31. of August of this year and you can take your time or rush through this.

If I have blocked you, but you come across this anyway, you are still very welcome to participate. I block people in order to curate my fandom experience and avoid things that upset me or make me uncomfortable in ways I don't want to be uncomfortable. I probably don't have anything against you, and in these cases I appreciate views and interpretations that don't align with mine. If you are angry at me for blocking you though, that's fine too. You are allowed to.

Thanks for reading.

we talk about the insane sibling beef between renly and stannis but theon being homophobically bullied out of wearing nice clothes and compelled to adopt bland straight man attire only for asha to turn round and be like oh btw! you look fucking ugly in that <3 you need to sort it out! is so fucking funny. i just know that theon was screaming crying throwing up trembling with rage

I like Victarion chapters because the subtle symbolism in the rest of the book becomes overblown and blatant. It's as if GRRM is trying to tell his own character how stupid he is.

I like Victarion chapters because he honestly thinks he's better than the slavers.

I like Victarion chapters because despite sailing Essos his entire life he doesnt know who the Dothraki are. They're simply to far inland for him to care.

I like Victarion chapters because he's more concerned with how many ships he has than the fact his arm is now a smoking tumor.

I like Victarion chapters because of Victarion's relationship with the Dusky Women. She's his forth wife, he tells her everything, he doesn't even attempt to find out who she is. Is her mind empty? Is she anything anymore? Is her body just an empty vessel for Euron?

I like how Euron is warging the Dusky Women so he can get fucked by Victarion.

I like Victarion chapters because he's too stupid to realise the dusky women is poisoning him.

I like Victarion chapters because he's too stupid to realise Moqorro is using him to get to Slavers bay, nothing more.

I like Victarion chapters because he's the first POV character to understand and utilise blood magic, but he's too stupid to use it for anything but sailing ships.

I like Victarion chapters because he's too stupid to realise that he can just turn the Iron Fleet around and declare war on Euron. Who are they going to follow, the captian they've known for years or the weirdo with blue lips?

I like Victarion chapters because he's too stupid to just swallow his pride and rule with Asha.

I like Victarion chapters because he's stupid enough to think he can outsmart Euron.

I like how Victarion hates the monkeys so much. Long after they leave his ships he's still seething over them.

I hope Victarion becomes the beloved King of Meereen after he smashes the siege and puts all of the Great Families to the sword.

I hope the Dusky Lady kills Victarion Greyjoy in his sleep.

I like how Victarion is what Ironborn society sees as the ideal man, and he is therefore a walking indictment of the Ironborn.

I like how by the end of ADWD even Moroquo, the death cultist who worships fire, is fearful Victarion.

I like Victarion chapters because he's the one character you can't make excuses for. He's not an anti hero or even an anti villain. He's a stereotype of a viking who's too stupid to realise that being a terrible warlord is making him feel terrible.

not to make everything about the favs but that bit here being in the very first chapter of them all and then echoed later is so interesting and i wonder if some really cool plot stuff will come out of it (but even if not, it’s a fun mirror)