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I'm too tired for this ish

@ireallyneedaintrestinglife

and much too old to care anymore
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Also in this household we stan MatPat. I don't care if you don't always agree with him. You are to respect him and his theories, because he puts so much care and thought into them. So many people forget that he is a person the same as everyone else, and all he does is try to get us to start thinking about things we normally wouldn't. He does not deserve to be bullied for a theory that even he doesn't want to be true.

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There have got to be more fanfics that are from servants perspectives. I read like one fic that did and completely and utterly fell in love with the idea.

You're telling me Gwen and George and everyone else just had to deal with whatever the fuck Merlin and Arthur were doing. They had no clues, no context, they just had to deal with the aftermath.

I guarantee you that Merlin and Arthur's situationship was 100% the cause of a majority of the castle staff tavern visits. They would so be gossiping about it and making bets.

Gaius is unfortunately stuck hearing about his wards' latest escapades with his king through word of mouth while he's tending to other servants who've been injured in some way or another.

In love with a long-suffering Camelot that's so invested in their Kings/Princes relationship with his mouthy manservant but also not brave enough to touch any part of it with a 50 ft pole.

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clos-posts

Okay so, hear me out:

I've been on a bit of a Merlin fanfic hyperfocuse and came across another "I'm Emrys" where Merlin has to perform magic for Arthur to believe him, in front of the entire round table council, and I had a thought.

So, we all know that Merlin is magic itself, spells that seemed powerful to other sorcerers are not that powerful to Merlin and my hc is that these spells barely make his eyes turn gold, like maybe a flicker so fast the average person will miss it.

So I imagine Merlin saying he's Emrys and Arthur being all 'well then prove it' and Merlin makes a fireball (cliche I know but bear with me). Now Arthur has seen this spell and though he has a merger knowledge of magic, knows that it's quite a powerful spell and that most sorcerers eyes are practically a blinding gold, but Merlins eyes don't change. That and Merlin doesn't even speak and therefore didn't cast a spell.

Arthur, thinking that some other sorcerer helped Merlin with his self-sacrificing, kind-hearted, not wanting anyone to die personality, appear as if Merlin is this 'Emrys' and in a patience but patronizing tone tells Merlin that's is honorable to try and protect this Emrys, but his eyes didn't even change colour and therefore can not be a sorcerer.

Merlin, in a very Merlin way, huffs and proceeds to say something like 'Well duh, that was a very simple spell. Doesn't even require that much magic to perform' and the entire room goes silent.

(meanwhile Guise blood pressure has skyrocketed and is on the verge of either killing Merlin himself or having a heart attack. He hasn't decided yet.)

Arthur, absolutely baffled (and a little turn on at the casual display of apparently immense power), asks: 'What will make your eyes gold then? If you even are a sorcerer?'

Merlin, never one to back down from a challenge and already too deep into this, shrugs and says 'We would need to be outside'

And that's how the whole council ends up on the training grounds opposite Merlin waiting in anticipation as to what he will do.

There's silence so thick that no one dares break until Merlin starts to chant. At first nothing happens and Arthur is relieved (and a little disappointed), but then clouds start to gather, think dark clouds above them, and Merlin starts to get louder. Thunder claps across the sky and there electricity in the air making Arthur's hair stand on end and a shiver works its way down his spine. He looks at Merlin and though it's subtle at first, his eyes are glowing gold.

The tension builds and builds and with one final shout from Merlin, his eyes, a brilliant gold, as lightning falls all around him, clashing to the ground destroying the train field in its wake.

Arthur can do nothing but stare. Breath caught, heart hammer, and a sudden hot arousal catching him off guard. He can do nothing but stare at Merlin, his loyal manservant, standing amidst the lighting with his head thrown back and a look of contentment on his face, as if performing magic of this magnitude is comfortable, relaxing, an everyday occurrence.

When Merlins eyes meet Arthur's, there's a, small, sad smile on his lips, and then quicker then it had started the lightning stops and the clouds disappear, and the only thing that can be heard is the birds beginning to sing again.

Arthur can't think of anything to say and stupidly say 'you destroyed the training grounds'. Merlin at this point blushes, stammers out an apology before waving his hand with a few muttered words and the training field is in perfect condition once again.

Arthur and the entire council are baffled.

Then, before anyone could say anything, Arthur blurts out a command for Merlin to go to Arthur's chambers and he does. Without question. Just a shrug, and walks off. Arthur is wheeling. This powerful sorcerer, who just showed them a feat that no mortal man will ever replicate just listens to his command with nothing but a shrug!

Anyway, once Arthur has calmed the council somewhat he makes his way to his chambers. Once he enters Merlin is speaking so fast it's hard to keep up, something about coins, destiny and then shockingly how Arthur is the only person that can kill him if he uses Excalibur. What. The. Fuck.

Arthur: I'm not going to kill you Merlin!! Why would I kill you?!?

Merlin: Well, I mean, umm, I'm a sorcerer? Emery's? The strongest warlock to ever walk the Earth?

Arthur: I'm not going to kill you Merlin. However! If you do not take me to bed and absolutely ravish me in the next 10 minutes, I may have to resort to drastic measures!

Merlin, absolutely gobsmacked, face red: Wh- what measures..?

Arthur, absolutely confident, turned on beyond belief, practically gagging for it: I'll start begging.

And before he knows it Merlin pounces, and the rest is history.

That was not meant to be as long as it was... 😂

BUT!! If someone who writes fics could take this and write a fully fleshed version on this and then tag me in it I would be forever grateful. ADHD and dyslexia does not make a good writer for me unfortunately 🥲🥲🥲

OH! One last thing! I have a hc that cold iron had a natural negative field which repels energy which is why those that have learned magic have it cut off when chained in cold iron. They can't draw upon their magic from the energy around them. However, with Merlin being magic it's a little different for him.

So, I had this image of a knight, without prompting thinking he's doing what the king would want, walks up to Merlin at some point during his light show and slaps cold iron shackles on him. But, instead of the magic stopping, Merlins eyes grow brighter and bright, and the shackles start to shake and groan, because whilst cold iron does repel energy, it's a little hard to do that from both sides and can't take the pressure. At some point the shackles start to glow as the negative properties of the iron are being overwhelmed and forced into itself. Merlin looks down, looks back at the now terrified knight and says: You should probably duck. And no soon has the knight hit the ground the shackles explode, for lack of a better word. No harm done to Merlin tho.

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Sick fic au 2.0

It's years into Arthur's regency when Merlin has become court sorcerer and he has assistants who do his medical work for him. (Pre-relationship)

Arthur has become sick. He, however, didn't think it was worth informing Merlin, so he begs the assistant to keep it quiet.

The assistant, new, still not educated enough and intimidated by the king and Merlin alike, does their very best to keep Merlin in the dark and the King well enough for court meetings, because Arthur refuses to lay down when he should be leading his kingdom.

Over night, it gets really bad.

Arthur: *delirious* Merlin

Assistant: he's asleep, and you told me not to get him, should I-

Arthur: where is Merlin? *Suddenly shouting* MERlin!!!

Assistant: it's okay! (Merlin is going to be so mad when he finds out I failed the King), Merlin is asleep. I can get him tomorrow-

Arthur: *almost crying* Merlin!!!!

Assistant *giving up and terrified*: I'll get him

Merlin is too worried to even care. He rushes into the room in his nightrobes, sleep deprived and scared.

Merlin: Arthur, I'm here. *At assistant* he needs more water and something to cool his head. Arthur, how are you feeling?

Arthur: *staring right at him* better *falls asleep*

Assistant: um- is that- is that bad? Oh god, did I kill the King?

Merlin: *beat red* erm- no. That's.... I think he just needed to see me.

Assistant: huh?

Merlin: why don't you take the night off? I'll stay with him.

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tell me something nice

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kyraneko

if you grow mushrooms over a toxic waste site, chemical spill, or other polluted growing medium, they will suck up the toxins into their fruiting bodies with such effectiveness that they are being studied for their ability to clean up tainted industrial sites. it’s called mycoremediation.

if you do this with edible mushrooms, they are no longer technically edible, but on the other hand they make a great way to poison your enemies. this is called murder and it’s usually frowned upon, but they won’t see it coming and you get bragging rights afterwards about your ability to kill people with a pizza topping.

Sorry this was not precisely most people’s idea of “nice.” Let me add that you are a glow of comforting absurdity in an ever-more-fucked-up world.

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mirage358

I love everything about mycoremediation, but also

Slightly on the topic of removing toxic waste:

A hairdresser noticed that with oil spills, one of the biggest issues was the impact on wildlife because oil loves clinging to fur and feathers.

They used felting methods to create like a mat of hair & used it on a small scale test & it worked really well, the hair mainly stayed on top of the water like the oil & absorbed it like a sponge while leaving creatures & plants alone.

NASA is now working on large scale uses with the help of donated clippings from hair dressers and pet groomers.

And the hair can then be composted with the help of mushrooms.

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I want to see more gentle moments.

I want to see Arthur when he's just woken up from sleep and Merlin is being kind of quiet because he knows Arthur was up till dawn pouring over magical laws. He brings him his meal, with extra sausage. He puts out the comfort red tunic he knows he likes, and makes sure that his papers are all in order for his meeting this morning. Arthur softly smiles into his breakfast.

I want to see them in the royal chambers, Merlin silently removing Arthurs armor after a tournament. After everything is removed and set aside to be cleaned Merlin gently leads Arthur to the bed and grabs the balm. No words are exchanged while he sooths the aches and pains, always taking care of his king.

I want to see Arthur removing Merlins neckerchief. A group of bandits ambush them while hunting and Merlin takes a small hit to the shoulder. In his haste to check the wound Arthur tears the neckerchief from Merlin and grasps Merlin on the back of the neck on the opposite side of his head, tilting him to the side to inspect him further. Merlins breath catches and stutters but not in pain. Arthur realizes what he's done, but cannot let go. He's never seen Merlins collarbone before, and finds that he likes it. He looks up to his eyes and slowly puts the cloth on his pocket. He'll return it later.....maybe.

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