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#i love these assholes – @ionlydrinkhotwater on Tumblr
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I'm probably reading right now

@ionlydrinkhotwater / ionlydrinkhotwater.tumblr.com

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Matt, a bit tipsy: Omg are you a criminal?

Neil: yeah

Matt: ... I was going to say "because it should be illegal to be that cute" but now I'm curious

Neil: identity theft, assault and battery, arson...

Matt: wait wha-

Neil: ...first degree murder, second degree murder, framing...

Matt: how do you even-

Neil: ...illegal crossing of diplomatic borders, lying under oath, assault with deathly weapon...

Matt, in tears: I'm begging you to stop

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