Don’t humiliate him because he is shirtless. It’s hot outside. Instead of shaming boys for their bodies, teach girls that boys are not sexual objects.

The depressing thing about being a man today:

People will shit on you if you love yourself but aren’t thin/muscular (”Get in shape, you fat slob!”) and they’ll shit on you, if you love yourself even if you are thin/muscular (”You vain, arrogant jerk, you just want attention!”)

Shoutout to all the men dealing with the aftermath of female violence in their lives. And to all the men who still live with it. And all the men who didn’t survive.  

So I am currently working on a paper, and I had to do a presentation of it (before having the paper done, weird). It’s about the gap in sentencing times for women, and that 80% of women who kill in self-defense are convicted without their lack of criminal history, or even that it was self-defense, taken into account. But that’s not the point of this post. There were two guys in the back of the class. When I gave the statistic for the gender gap in sentencing (78% higher sentences for female DV survivors, and 165% more likely to get a life sentence) they started talking, rather loudly, about how these biases were justified, but then also started planning their lives of crime so the whole class could hear (28 people).

If the fact that these obnoxious individuals were not kicked out of the room for this conversation (there are multiple reasons they should have, including, but not limited to, interrupting another person’s presentation) doesn’t show how we as a society excuse male deviancy, I don’t know what does.

Girls, protect boys. Call people out when they make offensive jokes. Stand up to those who treat boys like objects. Walk a boy home if he feels unsafe. Listen to them and be considerate of their feelings. Destroy that myth that men are inferior.

Boys, protect girls. Call people out when they make fun of a girl for showing emotion. Stand up to those who tell girls to ‘grow up.’ Support girls who enjoy masculine things. Destroy the myth that women can’t be victims and that men can’t be predators.

Girls, protect girls. Protect your sisters from violent relationships. Comfort your sisters when they need somebody. Stand up for your sisters who are ridiculed for not wanting/liking sex. Destroy the myth that two women can’t be close without it being “gay.”

Boys, protect boys. Defend bros who enjoy having sex. Stand up to those who define bros for what they wear. Don’t judge your bro’s worth from how many girlfriend’s he’s had. Destroy the myth that boys have to constantly compete with each other.

One thing I’ve noticed lately is that, as a man, regardless of how educated I am, or how passionate I am about a topic of discussion, women refuse to believe what I say and question me until another woman has validated my opinion.

Feminists list female suicide attempts as evidence of women being oppressed.

For that to make logical sense, they’d have to care about helping mentally ill women, who are at a much greater risk of attempting suicide.

But when a woman commits a mass murder, the first thing feminists say to distance themselves from the murderer is “she must be mentally ill”, which further stigmatizes mentally ill women.

Maybe they just hate men.

women are so unbelievably rude to men they don’t find attractive 

These are forms of female aggression that only men see. But even when women are afforded a front seat to harassment, they don’t always have the correct vantage point for recognizing the subtlety of its operation. Four years before the murders, I was sitting in a bar in Washington, D.C. with a female friend. Another young man was alone at the bar when an older woman scooted next to her. She was aggressive, wasted, and sitting too close, but he smiled curtly at her ramblings and laughed softly at her jokes as he patiently downed his drink. ‘Why is he humoring her?’ my friend asked me. ‘You would never do that.’ I was too embarrassed to say: ‘Because she looks scary’ and ‘I do it all the time.’ Men who have experienced this can recognize that placating these women is a rational choice, a form of self-defense to protect against setting off an aggressor. But to female bystanders, it often looks like a warm welcome, and that helps to shift blame in the public eye from the harasser and onto her target, who’s failed to respond with the type of feminine hysteria that women more easily recognize.

“Men are more likely to be attracted to personality and women are more likely to be attracted to physical appearance”

woah maybe that’s because we teach men to see women as people and we teach women to see men as objects

“Men who comb their hair back and know their way around the kitchen are sexy as hell.”

Femslation: Everything men do, no matter how functional or practical, is a performance for women and I’ll never hesitate to judge it on that basis. With a healthy dose of condescension, of course.

“Is calling someone a cock sexist?

Actually no. The word ‘cock’ in this sense has its origins in reference to the bird, in reference to its strutting, with the meaning being an arrogant or boastful person.”

No matter the origins, it’s also a word commonly used for the penis, and therefore is sexist. Words can change meaning over time. It originally may have came from what you said, but in today’s cultural context I hear it most often referred to a penis or used as an insult.

What really gets me is how some people think MRAs don’t want to give women a chance.

I live with three women, one of whom I’m marrying. I’m in a poly relationship with a different woman as well. All of these women happen to be able-bodied, young, white, cisgender, and identify as straight (to the best of my knowledge.) They live at a massive intersection of many privileges, and so do I, they just have one more than me.

So yes, I am surrounded by women. And I love them dearly. Because they’re MRAs (or allies, if you disagree with me about the usage of that word for women.) They continue to put work into unlearning misandry and other bullshit all the time. They’re not perfect but they treat people of all genders with respect (actual respect, not that m'dude shit) and we all go about our days with little conflict (when someone eats the last of my cereal without asking I don’t accuse them of rape, contrary to what anti-MRAs might expect.)

The problem is that I don’t interact with groups of strangers that often, and it’s easy for me to get used to the “decent human being” model of chick, and start to assume that things aren’t really so bad out there in the world. I start thinking that maybe I AM getting a slightly biased account from tumblr, seeing as I follow mainly MRA blogs.

But every time I interact with groups of new people, it all comes back to me. There’s always a shitty woman present, often a handful of them. And they’re always so much shittier than I expect. Obnoxious, self-involved, ignorant, flaunting privilege, pretentious, aggressive, often think they deserve a MENSA membership because they discovered Atheism, etc. There are SWARMS of them. I am so disgusted with the sheer number of horrible cishet white chicks out there. Precisely BECAUSE I want to love them, I love meeting people and getting to know them and I still try to approach new people with an open mind, and then it’s like they pour gasoline into my open mind and light a match and THAT’s where my MRA rage comes from. Not just from secondhand shit I’m hearing on tumblr, it’s mainly from firsthand experiences with awful, awful women.

I always want to think better of them because I know they’re capable of it. So don’t you dare call me a woman-hater.

this is a poem about why i hate the women in my family

i’m not supposed to eat in my mom’s new white truck it has heavy doors i’m not supposed to slam though closing them makes a slam because they’re too heavy (i swear i wasn’t trying)

my mom spills coffee in my father’s grey nissan she leaves toothpaste on the sink she leaves urine on the toilet seat she leaves her hair on the floor

my father and i clean it up even though my mother’s parents died a long time ago, even though i’m not supposed to eat in my mom’s new white truck:

something might spill

x

Something that bothered me today

In my history discussion today a guy was giving a presentation on laws for men in the roman empire, many of which were incredibly harsh and sexist. During the presentation he says “I don’t consider myself super MRA-ish. I mean, I’m all about equality, but I’m not, like, death to all women.”

If looks could kill, he would’ve been on the floor. Another guy spoke up and said he was offended by that statement, and so was I. Things like that are why men’s rights activism is looked down on. So many people think that men’s rights activism is about men who hate women and want to overpower them. This isn’t true. Men’s rights activism, by definition is about making it so that all sexes are EQUAL socially, economically, and politically. What this guy (and many other people) are thinking of when they talk about men’s rights activism is misogyny, which is an ingrained dislike of, contempt for, or prejudice AGAINST women.

If people would take the time to open a dictionary, or even google a term, they would understand what men’s rights activism is. If they did this, I think a lot more people would be MRAs.

women: men are so uptight

men: *get raped and murdered for saying no*

men: *get longer prison sentences than women*

men: *are given unrealistic standards of masculinity*

women: chill