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#browngirlswhoblog – @intaysmind on Tumblr
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The Sensual Mermaid

@intaysmind / intaysmind.tumblr.com

an Ancient Soul 🧿 Chieftess🏹 Dee ✨ Vocalist, Poet, Painter & Seer from Oakland, California📍I've had my blog since mf 09'!!! Talk to me nice
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# 40 from the # series

I’ve been silent.

I don’t know how to express

the end of things between us

i paint it

and yet,

it still feels tainted.

there aren’t many words to properly express how I feel

while I wish you nothing but healing,

it’s hard to discuss the feeling

with your feelings in mind.

why should I?

when you never seemed

to care about mine

until I told you

I’d be just fine

on my own.

so many times I tried to end things with you,

unsuccessful.

caught up in the wishes,

that you could be different.

Not to say that you

weren’t special to me

at the time...

but you were never mine

and could never be

I realized,

we were like night and morning;

storming thru

another woman’s mistakes

maybe I enjoyed

the idea of the chase

until I didn’t.

you swore it didn’t matter

but as a physic, I heard

the chatter in your heart.

It was only for a moment

I came into your life,

that one summer.

if anything it was

a bummer

being so nice,

to someone I realized

didn’t treat me

the way that I like.

You were only being

who you knew yourself as,

it was me

who couldn’t grasp

who you were

and for that

I,

can do nothing but learn.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

P.S IF YOU FUCK WITH ME

ANY BITCH FROM UR PAST

IS DEAD TO YOU NOW.

WHO THE FUCK

DID YOU THINK

YOU WERE DEALING WITH?

I ain’t with that friendly shit. *drops mic*

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memories
of my disappointments
haunt me
under my calm exterior
of gracefulness abound
deep down.
It’s been months,
that i been in this funk
my inner child shoots and kills
violent, not interested in the thrills
how have I made it here
to the times of tomorrow
the thing I feared for years
unfolding in the upcoming
tomorrows.
Sometimes I wonder if I am just hollow ,
or is it an illusion
what is true, what is false
buried under all the things
I don’t know or desire to express
those feelings in my chest
could feel like knives seeping into my flesh
no second guesses on my tests
or worrying about the rest of my days,
my weeks
getting a good nights sleep
without losing
a quarter of my day
But my body doesn’t run that way
not on the time here ,
learning how to be here
here
it’s anything but clear
and i wonder will i ever feel
like i belong,
before it’s been too long
into the dawn,
to sing my melancholy songs.
12:46am
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