this hasn't been math in a long while

the first rule of fight club is that two fight clubs are equal if they have the same members

The first axiom of set theory is we don't talk about set theory.

I LOVE when children who juuuust barely understand ten percent of something find somebody (a toy or a smaller child, usually) who understands zero percent and they’re like “come hither and I shall take you under my wing and teach you my instant wisdom.”

political commentators will do this also

breakdown of why moon’s haunted is the tweet of all time

- the implication that the nasa spaceship got back to earth, from the moon, without nasa knowing

- nasa employee is super chill about it

- theres just a gun lying around

- the astronaut is taking a gun and nothing else to fight ghosts

- moon’s haunted

[Image description: A tweet by Dustin Couch @DustinKCouch on 29 October 2018 reading:

nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early

astronaut: moon’s haunted

nasa employee: what?

astronaut: *loading a pistol and getting back on the rocket-ship* moon’s haunted.

End description]

[google search history]

what to do with drunken sailor

how to deal with drunken sailor

how to deal with drunken sailor early morning

olympic gold in hitting christian babies with a bat

points deduction. that last baby was a calvinist

oh my god people yes i know calvinism is a type of christianity the joke is that it doesn't take skill to hit a baby who's predestined to get hit come on

I like your funny words Jigglypuff

thank you i love you

fuck that old man dot org slash volunteer opportunities

sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time

Genuinely the #1 thing you can do to make sure trans people around you get gendered correctly is to just lead by example. Saying "hi this is [x] she'll be joining us today, could you show her [y]" is 100000x more effective and less scrutinizing pressure than a pronoun circle.

do not go to therapy. enough people went to grant us all herd immunity. we are all fine and we will all be fine God bless

this threesome could have been an email

im up straight not afraid of it. and by ‘it’ i mean. haha. lets just say. keep on living

stop putting touchscreens in cars and get to the features people actually want: oscillating vent fans, visors that move automatically to block the sun, and the ability to fire red koopa shells at people who change lanes without using their turn signal

my "we are the daughters of our respective parents who went through varying and diverse social circumstances" T-shirt apparently doesn't "go hard"