my birthday was yesterday, Im on nights so i worked the night before and the night of and honestly iv never been one for birthdays. I mostly spent they day sleeping before my shift and reflecting and journaling. In my reflections I looked through the picture from my previous birthday and just though about how much had changed since that time. It wasn't shortly after that when things escalated and ended. If we were still together we would be starting our family, that was our plan anyway. Looking at where I am now, I cant see myself being a mother. I'm at a point in my healing where I have to remind myself why I even liked him, I'm starting to forger what he looks like. One year ago on my birthday i knew in my heart of hearts that I couldn't spend another birthday with him, I just wasn't ready to leave yet. I am just so extremely grateful for everything thats happened over the past year wallah. I look back at the person that I was and i don't know her. It's just really hard sharing this and talking about this because people that cant relate they can empathize but then do not get. This shit changes your DNA like, I will never be the same person I was before, never. But I don't think I want to be that girl anymore.